Kids are gross. And it seems like they're intentionally gross the moment they enter toddlerhood. Maybe it’s because that’s when they’re first exploring the world, finally walking, finally picking up random things and putting them in their mouths, and finally testing the boundaries of "acceptable behavior." These walking germ-factories don’t really have a sense of decorum, so they basically do whatever they want. If your baby hasn’t reached that milestone, don’t worry. Before you know it you'll be well acquainted with the most disgusting thing your toddler does. And at that moment, dear reader, you will understand.
My son is getting close to reaching the ripe old age of 4. That means his “toddler” days are, for the most part, behind him. He still does plenty of nasty stuff, don't get me wrong, but he’s getting a little better about keeping his bodily fluids to himself. I’d say one of the most disgusting things he’s done is lick a chair on the public bus. This wasn’t just any bus, mind you, but the 16th Street mall ride in downtown Denver. So many people in various levels of cleanliness ride that bus on a daily basis, and I can't imagine many more places with more germs. Gross.
For some reason or another, my son just can’t keep that pink little tongue in his mouth for an extended period of time. He’s also licked plenty of restaurant tables and other random pieces of public furniture. It drives me up the wall. So much so, in fact, that I had to commiserate with other moms. So with that in mind, here are some truly heinous things other toddlers have done because, well, that's just what they do.