Fotolia

10 Questions I Have For The Mom Who Always Remembers To Pack Everything

By
Share
Ad failed to load

Just when I take a second to bask in the peacefulness of my two children cooperatively playing at the park on a gorgeous fall day, somebody is bound to get wet or bloody or end up with a splinter. In those moments, I usually have to ask another parent if I may “borrow” an item they would definitely not want back after I’ve used it on my soiled child. I brought things with me, of course, but never all the right things. As a result, I have some questions for the mom who always packs everything, and who's always kind enough to be willing to let moms like me use some of it.

I have always tried to anticipate my children’s needs when we’re out and about, and I must admit I have a tendency to overpack for vacations; a tendency that usually spills over and into my "mom life." Still, I'd say I take more of a “kitchen sink” approach. If you were to dig through my diaper bag, you would find all sorts of useless bits: broken toys, used tissues, pen caps (no pens) and gift cards with probably fifty-eight cents still on them. I would have the obvious essentials, like diapers and a changing pad and wipes, but it never seemed to be enough. Invariably, I would forget some key item that would leave me turning to the always-prepared mom to sheepishly request borrowing from her. It’s embarrassing to admit I don’t always keep an extra snack cup lid in my bag when my child stuffs hers through the sewer grates.

However, I want to be better. I want to learn the logic that the mom who always packs everything has clearly mastered and uses on a frequent basis. Is that mom among you, readers? Well, if so, have some questions:

Ad failed to load

"Are You Going Away For A Few Days?"

giphy

I mean, why else would you need to bring extra socks to a birthday party? Oh, because my kid completely misfires into the toilet and soaks his feet, too. I didn’t see that coming, but you did. You’re my hero.

"How Did You Know You Would Need That?"

Safety pins? Knuckle Band-aids? A dual-pronged phone battery? How could you possibly predict a simple park play date would require all of those things, especially for children not even related to you? Are you psychic? If so, we should definitely talk about a very lucrative investment opportunity.

"How Do You Fit Three Changes Of Clothes In There?"

giphy

For both the baby and you? Do you know origami? Please teach me.

Ad failed to load

"You've Got A Toilet In There?"

I didn’t carry one of these around, but hats off to the moms who committed to potty training by bringing the potty everywhere they went. I could never figure out how to work the ones that collapse, so kudos to you.

"What Is Your Secret For Preventing Granola Bar Breakage?"

giphy

I don’t know how you do it, to be honest. I mean, every time you unsheathe the bars from their wrapper, after extracting them from your diaper bag, they are perfectly intact. Mine, on the other hand, are reduced to a pile of dust I will be picking out of damn near everything for the next month.

"How Do You Remember Where You Put Everything?"

With my second baby, I received a ridiculously intricate diaper bag with a bajillion pockets of various sizes. As someone with a Type A personality, I was in heaven. There was a spot for me to put everything. The only problem, however, that once I put everything in their tiny pockets, I couldn’t remember where any of it was.

I knew I had hand gel, somewhere. Tissues? Check. Just, um, give me a minute (read: hour) to find them. New diaper for my now naked baby? Yes, totally, just gotta dig around for a second...

Ad failed to load

"You’re Not Down With The KonMari Method Either, Huh?"

giphy

We’re kindred spirits, you and me. We like to have our stuff, and by "our stuff" I mean all of our stuff.

OK, sure, my stuff may not be as hyper-organized as your stuff, but we’re not so different, you and me. Tiny tubes of diaper cream spark joy for us. Only, you can find yours in your bag, and I can’t.

"You Don’t Have Anything In There That Might Remove Tomato Soup Vomit, Would You?"

Of course you do. It’s probably a homemade mixture you whipped up and transferred into travel-sized spray bottles. It might be one of many concoctions you keep handy to treat stains and other unfortunate mishaps related to our children’s immature bodily functions. For that, I am eternally grateful.

Let me thank you with these cheese cracker crumbs, which are the only sustenance I can find in my diaper bag, besides this chewed pretzel rod my kid just handed back to me.

"How Much Do You Charge For Consultations?"

giphy

You could start a pretty lucrative business advising other moms. I once paid a professional organizer for a consultation and it was truly some of the best money I ever spent. You don’t think you actually need someone showing you a better place to keep all the pens that are almost dried (hint: not in a desk drawer), but people like me, who have a hard time saying “goodbye” to things, really benefit from that and might be willing to overpay you for it.

Ad failed to load

"I Bet You Don’t Have A Rabbit In There, Right?"

It's not that far-fetched, because you're clearly a magician. You make amazing things appear from the creases of your fleece hoodie that lazy moms like me never thought we’d even need, like double-sided tape and the other kind (the better kind) of veggie poofs. Your diaper bag is The Giving Tree, providing for the rest of us subpar parents who thought they really had it together when they threw a few loose napkins in the stroller just in case. Where did you come from, and how long will it take until I can become just like you?

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

8 Things That *Will* Go Wrong Every Time You Plan A Kid-Free Night

The last time my husband and I went out to dinner alone was… actually, I can’t remember. But I can count on one hand how many times I’ve seen a movie in a theater in the last year. Before we had children we used to go out all the time. But even with …
By Liza Wyles

These Photos Of North West Then & Now Will Take You On A Sweet Trip Down Memory Lane

When Kim Kardashian welcomed her first daughter, North West, with her husband, Kanye West, in 2013, her whole life was changed. The social media and reality TV star became a mom for the first time and her Instagram presence took a very adorable turn.…
By Casey Suglia

11 Photos You *Must* Take During The Last Days Of Your Pregnancy

During my first pregnancy, I took a photo each week to document my growing belly. I stopped around 36 weeks, though. I hated how I looked in those pictures, and didn't think I'd want to relive those moments. I was wrong. My second pregnancy was a dum…
By Steph Montgomery

This Is What It Means If Your Pregnancy Test Changes Overnight

The time between when a woman suspects she might be pregnant and when it is confirmed for sure is the longest of her life. Regardless of whether you are hoping for a positive or a negative result, the odds are good that you are sweating bullets when …
By Shannon Evans

6 Red Flags To Definitely Look Out For After Your Baby Falls

The first time my infant son tried to take a few steps, he tumbled and bumped his head on the coffee table. My blood turned to ice in my veins and I froze. There truly isn't anything quite like the feeling a parent gets when their little one gets hur…
By Sarah Bunton

These 9 Instant Pot Recipes Will Make Even The Pickiest Eater Happy At The Table

Like any parent, I've had my share of parenting hits and misses, but one of my favorite "wins" is my daughter's diverse palate. I don't even know if I can take credit for it, but I would like to think I had something to do with her love for lentils, …
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

Turns Out, Kim Kardashian's Favorite Mom Products Look A Lot Like Your Own Faves

Being a mom is really hard work, especially for the first few months, and Kim Kardashian West is no different in that regard. Now the mother of three, Kardashian says that there are a few products she just can't live without when it comes to raising …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Soda Might Hurt Your Fertility, Study Says, & Here's What You Can Do

Who doesn't love sugary drinks? I stopped drinking soda years ago, but I still love gulping down those fancy Starbucks coffee beverages. I don't have a big sweet tooth, but I am a sucker for sugar-sweetened beverages every now-and-then. Turns out, th…
By Annamarya Scaccia

10 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 30s

If you're like me, you evaluate the pros and cons of any major life decision. When my husband and I were considering starting a family, I thought about my career, education, and financial stability. I wanted to know how a pregnancy and childbirth wou…
By Steph Montgomery

This Woman Thought She Had An Eyelash Stuck In Her Eye. Then It Moved.

I'm not a person who is easily icked out. As a kid, I collected bugs and thought I was going to be an entomologist and asked Santa Claus for ant farms and nets to catch bees. I'm still super curious about anything that flies and crawls, which might s…
By Karen Fratti

5 Red Flags Your Toddler Isn't Eating Enough

Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters, at least in my experience. You offer mashed potatoes, they want french fries. You give them crackers, they scream for chips. It's frustrating, to be sure, but it's usually their way of vying for independence. It…
By Candace Ganger

11 Ways Your Pregnancy Will Be Different If You Have A Boy Vs A Girl

If you've been pregnant before, you might start comparing your previous pregnancies to that of your current pregnancy. A lot of things can change from pregnancy to pregnancy, based on a whole host of different factors (including how well you remember…
By Lauren Schumacker

35 Moms Share The Most Disgusting Things Their Husbands Do

I'm a human being who revels in challenges. I like when people present me with one, especially if they don't think I can meet or succeed it, and I like taking a challenge on, especially if it's unexpected. So when I aimed to uncover the most disgusti…
By Jamie Kenney

How Having Kids In Your 20s Affects You Later In Life

For parents, like myself, who had kids in their 20s, there are a number of questions that come to mind. When you're deciding what your future will look like, you'll likely consider what this means for your health, career, and more down the line. Thin…
By Tessa Shull

12 Moms Share How They Stay Healthy During Flu Season

Unfortunately, we're in the middle of the roughest flu seasons in recent memory. And we’re not totally out of the woods, either. People around the country are still getting the flu, and, sadly, some of them are having to be hospitalized due to flu-re…
By Priscilla Blossom

8 "Mistakes" I'm Glad I Made During My First Pregnancy

As an adult, I've learned you never really stop hating being told what to do. When I was pregnant I was getting instructions at every turn, from doctors, relatives, and complete strangers on the subway. I would nod and smile but then go about making …
By Liza Wyles

Study: Drinking Two Glasses Of Wine A Day Is Good For Your Mind — Here's Why

There’s more scientific proof that a daily drink or two isn't necessarily a bad thing and could have a place in an overall healthy lifestyle. A new study out of the University of Rochester Medical Center (URMC) in New York found that — in mice, at le…
By Tiffany Thomas

Research Says Eating Carbs Can Lead To A Healthy Pregnancy, So Bring On The Pasta

In the world of me, no food is better than bread. I know it's supposed to be pretty terrible for you, high in calories, low in protein, and full of that modern-day demon, gluten... but guys, it's really yummy. Especially warm out of the oven, when th…
By Jen McGuire

These Photos Of Prince George Then & Now Will Give You Serious Baby Fever

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their third child in Spring 2018. With all of the excitement surrounding the new baby, it's easy to forget all of the good times that have already passed. The couple's eldest is already well into the sc…
By Azure Hall

This Is, Hands Down, The *Grossest* Thing Babies Do Inside The Womb

Your baby's life in the womb may be safe and warm, but it's also kind of grody. Seriously, the whole process of growing into a human being includes more than a few icky moments along the way. But this is the grossest thing babies do inside the womb b…
By Lindsay E. Mack