Fotolia

10 Questions Your In-Laws Should Never Ask You When You're Pregnant

By
Share
Ad failed to load

To be honest, my relationship with my in-laws hasn't always been that great. I've been married twice and, as a result, have had to navigate relationships with two sets of in-laws (yay). It wasn't easy, and then I got pregnant and things got even harder. After I got pregnant the first time, my mother-in-law seemed to lose her filter and sense of self-control, especially when it came to asking me questions about my pregnancy. It sucked because, seriously, there are questions in-laws should never ask a pregnant woman. Like, ever.

In a way, I sort of get it. Most grandparents-to-be are super excited to meet their new grand baby and want to share pregnancy and parenting knowledge with their child (and by extension, their daughter-in-law). They likely have no idea that these questions can feel weird, intrusive, and rude AF. Or, they simply don't care. So things can get dicey, because, as a general rule, most pregnant people prefer to ask for advice when they want it, rather than receive it unsolicited, especially when that advice is coming from your mother-in-law.

I've fielded all sorts of questions from my in-laws, from casual inquiries about my pregnant body (which are never fun from anyone, but especially not fun from your in-laws), to questions about our plans for their future grandchild, questions about baby names, and "up close and personal" questions about my pregnancy and birthing plans. They not only made for some pretty awkward moments, but these endless queries made me pissed off, self-conscious, and emotional, which is not a delightful combination. Trust me.

Ad failed to load

"When Did You Conceive Your Baby?"

Giphy

When someone asks their daughter or son-in-law this question, do they they not realize that they are literally asking about their child's sex life? It's awkward AF. There's no way am I answering that question, if my in-laws (or pretty much anyone) asks.

"What Do You Mean I Need A Flu Shot?"

This one was a deal breaker for my partner and I, and for good reason. So we didn't make exceptions for anyone, including close family members. It was so weird how many people tried to argue. Sorry, not respecting our wishes about exposing our newborn to deadly viruses means no baby snuggles for you.

"Can We Be In The Delivery Room?"

Giphy

This was so hard. I had no idea how to respond without offending them, so I said, "Maybe," when what I really meant was, "Hell no." What I should have said was, "While I appreciate you wanting to be here to support us, you being in the delivery room would not help me feel relaxed and supported. We'll happily call you once baby is here, but to be blunt, there's no way I'm risking you seeing my ass hanging out, or worse, my vulva. Instead, you can be among the first people to see our baby."

Ad failed to load

"Have You Tried Saltines?"

Those of us who have survived hyperemesis gravidarum call this question being "crackered." While crackers help some pregnant people some of the time, with morning sickness they didn't do a thing for me. So when my now former mother-in-law asked me if I'd tried crackers it, well, made me want to stuff crackers up her you-know-what.

"What Are You Planning To Name The Baby?"

Giphy

I made the mistake of telling my then mother-in-law a name idea before my daughter was born. I will never forget the look on her face and the additional question, "Seriously?" And guys, it was a totally nice, reasonable name. I have no idea why she didn't like it, but after her response my then-husband and I vowed never to share our baby's name again. Our lips were sealed until she was born and her name was on the birth certificate.

"You Are Planning To Stay At Home With Your Baby, Right?"

When my mother-in-law asked me this particular question, it made me feel so defensive, even though I was happy with my decision to return to work after maternity leave. It was totally none of her business, and again, her prying made me feel like she was judging me (and she totally was).

Ad failed to load

"You Are Planning On Using Our Last Name, Right?"

Giphy

Actually, we were planning to (and did) hyphenate our kids' last names. When my then in-laws asked this question, it honestly made me feel like crap. I didn't know how to respond, so I was honest. They were not pleased that my child wouldn't be carrying on their family name, but couldn't care less about them having both of our names. What a ridiculous double standard. Grrr.

"Can We Come Stay With You After The Baby Is Born?"

I told my in-laws the same thing I told everyone else, "You can come when I am ready for guests, and we will let you know when that is. Please be prepared to help and not expect too much from me. Also, don't forget to get your flu and DTAP vaccinations and to wash your hands or you are not holding the baby. No exceptions."

"Should You Really Be Eating/Drinking/Doing That?"

Giphy

If a pregnant person (or any person, really) is eating, drinking, or doing something, it's OK, because it's their body and they get to decide. I generally don't want anyone's advice about what I do with my body, and that doesn't change just because I am pregnant with your grandchild.

Ad failed to load

"Are You Planning A Vaginal Birth?"

Nope. I don't like to answer questions about my birth choices, period, let alone questions from my in-laws about my vagina. I mean, I'm pretty sure people ask these questions because they are trying to make conversation, but damn, I would literally prefer to talk about anything else with my in-laws.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

6 Early Signs You're Going To Have A Short Labor, According To Experts

As far as I'm concerned, a short labor is right up there with winning the lottery in terms of lucky life events. (And when I was actually in labor, I would absolutely have traded a bucketful of lottery winnings for a speedier birth.) While some women…
By Kelly Mullen-McWilliams

Kids Will Love These TV Shows & Movies Coming To Netflix In March

You can always count on Netflix to keep it fresh: though there are already so many movies and shows to choose from, every month there's an influx of new content to keep your entire family entertained. As February enters its final weeks, it's time to …
By Megan Walsh

Here Are 10 Ways To Boost Your Baby's Immunity To The Flu

As I'm sure you've read in the thousands upon thousands of articles written about it this winter, the flu is spreading like wildfire and it's bad. Really bad. This strand of flu is the worst we've had in a very long time and it's the most widespread,…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Khloé Kardashian Asked Twitter About Her Bump, & Moms Totally Delivered

Like her younger sister Kylie Jenner, Khloé Kardashian managed to keep most of her pregnancy a sort-of secret. But unlike Jenner, Kardashian chose to publicly announce her pregnancy several months before the baby's due date. While there's no wrong wa…
By Sophie Hirsh

21 Moms Share The Most Surprising Part About Having A C-Section

Honestly, I don't think we, as a culture, talk about C-sections nearly enough, especially considering so many mothers experience them. And because of a number of factors, the little we do talk about it always seems to be a familiar narrative: "It's n…
By Jamie Kenney

13 Yummy Instant Pot Recipes To Make Under 30 Minutes

An Instant Pot seems to be the must-have appliance in every kitchen these days. If you are anything like me and never knew the beauty of a Instant Pot, you are about to have your life changed. Basically, you put some ingredients into a pot, set the t…
By Kristin Manna

9 Things The First Six Months Of Motherhood Will Teach You About Your Baby

Personally, the first six months of motherhood was a mixed bag. I learned some harsh lessons about myself that made taking care of my baby seem overwhelming. For example, I was clueless, and no amount of research could help me feel like anything but …
By Steph Montgomery

11 Photos You *Must* Take During The Last Days Of Your Pregnancy

During my first pregnancy, I took a photo each week to document my growing belly. I stopped around 36 weeks, though. I hated how I looked in those pictures, and didn't think I'd want to relive those moments. I was wrong. My second pregnancy was a dum…
By Steph Montgomery

6 Red Flags To Definitely Look Out For After Your Baby Falls

The first time my infant son tried to take a few steps, he tumbled and bumped his head on the coffee table. My blood turned to ice in my veins and I froze. There truly isn't anything quite like the feeling a parent gets when their little one gets hur…
By Sarah Bunton

These 9 Instant Pot Recipes Will Make Even The Pickiest Eater Happy At The Table

Like any parent, I've had my share of parenting hits and misses, but one of my favorite "wins" is my daughter's diverse palate. I don't even know if I can take credit for it, but I would like to think I had something to do with her love for lentils, …
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

Turns Out, Kim Kardashian's Favorite Mom Products Look A Lot Like Your Own Faves

Being a mom is really hard work, especially for the first few months, and Kim Kardashian West is no different in that regard. Now the mother of three, Kardashian says that there are a few products she just can't live without when it comes to raising …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

10 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 30s

If you're like me, you evaluate the pros and cons of any major life decision. When my husband and I were considering starting a family, I thought about my career, education, and financial stability. I wanted to know how a pregnancy and childbirth wou…
By Steph Montgomery

Soda Might Hurt Your Fertility, Study Says, & Here's What You Can Do

Who doesn't love sugary drinks? I stopped drinking soda years ago, but I still love gulping down those fancy Starbucks coffee beverages. I don't have a big sweet tooth, but I am a sucker for sugar-sweetened beverages every now-and-then. Turns out, th…
By Annamarya Scaccia

5 Red Flags Your Toddler Isn't Eating Enough

Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters, at least in my experience. You offer mashed potatoes, they want french fries. You give them crackers, they scream for chips. It's frustrating, to be sure, but it's usually their way of vying for independence. It…
By Candace Ganger

35 Moms Share The Most Disgusting Things Their Husbands Do

I'm a human being who revels in challenges. I like when people present me with one, especially if they don't think I can meet or succeed it, and I like taking a challenge on, especially if it's unexpected. So when I aimed to uncover the most disgusti…
By Jamie Kenney

How Having Kids In Your 20s Affects You Later In Life

For parents, like myself, who had kids in their 20s, there are a number of questions that come to mind. When you're deciding what your future will look like, you'll likely consider what this means for your health, career, and more down the line. Thin…
By Tessa Shull

Study: Drinking Two Glasses Of Wine A Day Is Good For Your Mind — Here's Why

There’s more scientific proof that a daily drink or two isn't necessarily a bad thing and could have a place in an overall healthy lifestyle. A new study out of the University of Rochester Medical Center (URMC) in New York found that — in mice, at le…
By Tiffany Thomas

Research Says Eating Carbs Can Lead To A Healthy Pregnancy, So Bring On The Pasta

In the world of me, no food is better than bread. I know it's supposed to be pretty terrible for you, high in calories, low in protein, and full of that modern-day demon, gluten... but guys, it's really yummy. Especially warm out of the oven, when th…
By Jen McGuire

These Photos Of Prince George Then & Now Will Give You Serious Baby Fever

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their third child in Spring 2018. With all of the excitement surrounding the new baby, it's easy to forget all of the good times that have already passed. The couple's eldest is already well into the sc…
By Azure Hall

This Is, Hands Down, The *Grossest* Thing Babies Do Inside The Womb

Your baby's life in the womb may be safe and warm, but it's also kind of grody. Seriously, the whole process of growing into a human being includes more than a few icky moments along the way. But this is the grossest thing babies do inside the womb b…
By Lindsay E. Mack