Courtesy of Steph Montgomery

10 Reasons Why Saying A Pregnant Woman Is "All Belly" Is Totally Insensitive

Ad failed to load

People constantly objectify women in our culture. I can't remember a time when people didn't comment about my body to my face. This constant harassment means that women and girls receive the message that they aren't valued outside the way they look. This impacts everything from our self-esteem, body image, and emotional wellbeing to our health, safety, and career opportunities. When you get pregnant, it gets worse. You are reduced to a "pregnant body" available for viewing, comments, and subject to disapproval. Saying a woman is "all belly" is not just totally insensitive, it's offensive. Don't do it. Stop.

For me, pregnancy was so surreal. I literally was growing another human in my body. How badass is that? However, I didn't always feel good. Sometimes I threw up 10 times a day, my body hurt, and as an eating disorder survivor, coping with my changing body was hard. The last thing I needed was someone commenting about my body, which at least one person did every damn day. I wish I were exaggerating. The most common comment was how large my belly was. You see, I'm very short. There's literally no place for my baby to grow but out. (and occasionally into my rib cage, diaphragm, and bladder).

People said things like:

Ad failed to load

"You are all belly."

"You must have more than one baby in there."

"You look ready to pop."

Ad failed to load

"Are you sure you are right about your due date?"

"Wow, your baby must be huge, how will you push him out?"


Ad failed to load

I also didn't gain a lot of weight during my last pregnancy, because I had hyperemesis gravidarium (extreme vomiting), right up until delivery. My belly got huge, but you could literally count my ribs. So, I heard even more comments. Not only did these comments and questions make me feel self- conscious, scrutinized, judged, scared, embarrassed, and generally bad about my amazing body, but they are totally sexist. Would you ever say these things to a man? I don't think so.

I try to teach my kids to ask themselves, "Is it kind, true, and necessary?" before saying words out loud. Imagine if everyone did this. Let's try it and see if it catches on.

Ad failed to load

That's Her Body You're Talking About

Courtesy of Steph Montgomery

Women don't exist for your viewing pleasure or your approval, and I, for one, don't want to hear your thoughts about my body, no matter how big my pregnant belly is or how funny you think you are. I'm not laughing.

Their Weight Might Be A Sensitive Subject

While a pregnant person might smile or chuckle, as they try to find a way to respond to your inappropriate comments, they might be mortified on the inside, or might go home and cry and try to resolve all of the feelings you have about pregnancy, when you also have body image issues.

She Might Be Sick

Courtesy of Steph Montgomery

There's nothing like hearing how "fat" you are getting when you literally haven't kept food down in days. Made me want to vomit on people.

Ad failed to load

It Reduces A Person To A Body Part

Women are people, not bodies, and certainly not just a body part. Being pregnant doesn't change that.

What If They Aren't Pregnant?


It's only ever appropriate to comment about a person's pregnancy if they've told you they are pregnant. What if they aren't pregnant? Seriously.

It's Never OK To Comment About Someone's Body

Even if they are pregnant, though, it's not OK to comment about someone's body. It's none of your freaking business and certainly not kind.

Ad failed to load

It's Literally Not True

Courtesy of Steph Montgomery

I am not all belly. I also have a fabulous butt and breasts that have gotten bigger with pregnancy, too. Also, my swollen ankles, the dark circles under my eyes, and literally 100 other things about my body. If you think my belly is the only thing that's changed with pregnancy, you're not paying attention.

It's Sexist

Try it next time you see a guy with a beer belly. See how it feels to even think about saying something (weird, right?), or try it and see how he responds. I guarantee he'll at minimum give you a dirty look, because it's not freaking OK to say this to another person. Women are people, too, even pregnant women. If you wouldn't say it to a man, why is it OK to say it to a pregnant person?

It's Gross

Courtesy of Steph Montgomery

Stop looking at my body. Stop. It's creepy and gross. Even if you are right, and my belly is freaking huge, saying something about it is super inappropriate.

Ad failed to load

It's Objectifying

If we want to achieve gender equality, we have to start treating people of all genders as equals. This means treating people like people and not pregnancies. I get it, pregnancy is amazing, exciting, and for many of us, a shared experience that we love to talk about, but it's totally inappropriate to reduce a person to their appearance and to use that as a way to break the ice. Instead, try, "How are you?" or "How are you feeling?"

Remember: "Is it kind, true, and necessary?" If not, please stop.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

7 Things A Mom Really Means When She Says She Doesn't Want Anything On Mother's Day

Every year my family asks me what I want for Mother's Day, and every single year I tell them the same thing: Nothing. So, by now, they know that when I say "nothing" I absolutely do not mean "nothing." In fact, there are more than a few things a mom …
By Candace Ganger

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

8 Fascinating Facts About Babies Born In May, The Luckiest Month Of All

The height of all things fresh and springy, May is an excellent month to have a baby. It's a time of growth, graduations, and outdoor celebrations. And these fascinating facts about May babies will give you more reasons than ever to appreciate childr…
By Lindsay E. Mack

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

13 Unique (& Totally Not Mainstream) Mother's Day Gifts For The Hipster Mom

Hipsters thrive on being outside the norm and not really digging anything considered "mainstream." Whether it's in their fashion, what music they listen to, the books they read, or how they enjoy beverages, there's just something that makes them dist…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's How To Introduce Your Pet To Your Baby & Make Everything As Calm As Possible

Our home, which we lovingly refer to as “the funny farm,” is filled with four-legged family members. We have two crazy beagles and two cat jerks, and boy are they loved and spoiled. (As they should be.) But we are now finally having a baby of our own…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's The Right Birth Method For You, According To Your Zodiac Sign

If you're pregnant, you've probably given childbirth some serious thought. Some moms-to-be prepare a meticulous birth plan, while others are comfortable just going with the flow. And me? Well, I made a plan... but that plan was useless when faced wit…
By Steph Montgomery

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills