Life
If I'm being honest I must admit that I love bed-sharing with my baby. They're still nursing at night and small enough that scooting them over (or straightening them out) doesn't disturb their sleep. I do remember when bed-sharing stopped being so lovely with my now 5-year-old son, though. Right around the time he started embedding his pointy appendages in my partner's rib cage and kicking me in the face, I had enough. I also had some choice thoughts running through your head whenever I was kicked in the head while bed-sharing. Every mom has her breaking point, my friends.
I have no judgment about the way other parents choose to bed-share, co-sleep, or sleep train. Bed-sharing just works for me and my family this time around. When it comes to making decisions about the way my partner and I parent our children, we try to listen to what our individual children truly need, temperamentally and emotionally. The more kids we choose to have, the more we think about what works best for the rest of the family while simultaneously catering to our individual children's needs because, well, every kid is different.
But what about when the thing that's been working for you, sucks? Because it does suck, the whole being kicked in the head thing. I must be honest, those are the inevitable bed-sharing moments I am dreading. And I know they're coming, sooner rather than later. So in an effort to prepare myself, I'll revisit the things every mom thinks about when their baby kicks them in the head while bed-sharing. At least we're all in this together, right?
Sleep Training
Sure it was a traumatic nightmare when we tried sleep training our first child. But maybe we were just overreacting? There's got to be something to this whole teaching babies to sleep outside of mama's embrace thing. Right?
Vasectomies
Ah, sweet, sweet non-reproductive sex. When is that appointment, my love?
Excedrin
I've heard it's the headache medicine. Strangely, when I'm kicked in the head enough, I get headaches.
Dental Insurance
Because I've already lost one tooth to head-butting children. Those crowns need to be replaced every few years and that sh*t gets expensive. I'm not even kidding.
Big Kid Beds
I've heard these stories and seen these movies where kids are super excited about getting their big kid beds. My first two kids did not care one bit for their big kid beds. Even when we went overboard decking them out with talking trains and fighting turtles, they weren't impressed in the slightest.
When I'm getting kicked in the head at 2:00 a.m. it's less like "thinking" and more like a plea: "Please, please, let my child be super, duper excited at the prospect of a big kid bed!"
Detached Retinas
Ever been kicked in the eyeball by a tiny foot in the middle of the night? You may laugh, dear reader, but there is nothing funny about 3:00 a.m. decision-making on whether to go to the emergency room or not.
Bloody Noses
You know that feeling you get when someone punches you in the nose? You know when you start seeing stars all over the place? Yep. Every single morning when those bed-sharing kids get big enough, I see stars.
Soiled Sheets
What is that wet warm sensation spreading across my backside? Did someone put me in a hot tub? Um. Nope. That's pee. My baby peed on me.
How Tiny Feet Pack A Big Punch
The final, and quite obvious, thing that all moms think while being kicked in the head by their bed-sharing baby is how in the hell can such tiny feet hurt so damn much?
Is bed-sharing still worth it? To me it is. I'm pretty sure that's why I evolved to have such a very hard head. But this little trip down memory lane is reminding me to be damn grateful for the short time I have left with a non-head kicking bed-sharing baby.
