Fotolia

10 Things Every Lazy Mom Doesn't Worry About

By
Share
Ad failed to load

Y'all, I'm lazy. I'm unapologetic about it even though some people see it as a fault. My kids are loved and well-cared for, but I am no Martha Stewart. I'm not supermom and don't see the point in killing myself to try to be. Thankfully, I'm also not the only one. You can usually tell when you're in the presence of a fellow "lazy mom," because there are certain things every lazy mom just doesn't worry about.

When my older son was a toddler, I was obsessed and I mean obsessed with sensory stimulation and enrichment activities. I scoured the internet for ideas and created countless disorganized Pinterest boards. In other words, I was completely off the rails. We did something new every day and if a day passed and I hadn't created a new "provocation" or "invitation to play," I felt like a failure. I set the bar impossibly high for myself and all it ended up leaving me with was an overwhelming feeling of failure and, you know, crap. My son, on the other hand didn't care (and didn't even notice). He was just as happy playing with sticks as he was playing with lavender scented homemade gluten free play dough. (Actually, he much preferred the sticks.)

Once I realized I didn't have to create this Pinterest-perfect, amazing, enriching childhood for him, it was like a lightbulb went off. I didn't have to do anything but simply allow him to be a kid. He didn't need me to create experiences, I just needed to make sure he didn't die or break something valuable. Lazy parenting became my thing and let me tell you, dear reader, I'm pretty damn good at it.

Ad failed to load

Fancy Lunchbox Prep

giphy

This bento box trend is killing me. I honestly don't know how the parents who pull them off have the time or motivation for it. It's cute, yeah, and your kids probably think it's amazing, but I honestly have no clue how you manage to make these intricate themed rice bowls when I'm phoning it in with a ham sandwich and still struggling.

Matching Every Single Pair Of Socks

Every sock drawer in my house looks like a maelstrom. I do not match socks. I used to, but somewhere along the way I just gave up. I even tried the Konmari fold-your-socks thing and found it way too labor intensive.

Sorting Laundry

giphy

I was chatting with a friend recently about laundry and she was scandalized when I told her I don't sort. She couldn't wrap her head around it. I don't sort by color or type or person and I don't sort by fabric or water temperature. Everything gets washed together on cold and, yep, it all comes out clean.

Ad failed to load

Use Pinterest Regularly

There are few things that can make a person feel inadequate like Pinterest makes a person feel inadequate. To stave off the kids birthday party, holiday tablescape, front door wreath insecurity, do what I do; stay far away from Pinterest. Ain't nobody got time decorative paper folding.

Holiday Themed Matching Outfits

giphy

I know moms who have a different Christmas themed smocked dress for every day of December. I know moms who coordinate outfits for multiple kids for every holiday. I know moms who love matching holiday outfits.

I, well, just can't. Seriously. My kids are lucky to wear pants every day, much less matching themed ensembles.

Creating Experiences For Your Kids

Sensory bins, quiet bags, fairy gardens; I really did try when my older son was a toddler. I went to great lengths to make sure he had something enriching to do every day. After my younger son was born, when I got full-on lazy, I realized that kids when given space and time can find enriching things to do on their own. They don't need us to present them with Pinterest worthy activities. They need us to step away and let them figure it out. Thankfully. Because lazy.

Ad failed to load

Makeup (Most Days)

giphy

My sister got married recently and I had to go buy new makeup for her wedding. My mascara was dried up and crusty, at least 2 years old. My foundation had turned to cement in the bottle. I can't remember the last time I wore full face makeup two days in a row and can't muster the energy to even wear powder and lipgloss most days.

Changing Out Of Pajamas

See these pants? Yeah, I slept in them. I wore them yesterday, too. They pull double duty, daytime pants and nighttime pants. These pants work hard so I can be lazy.

Extracurricular Activities

giphy

Parents the world over lament being their kids' chauffeur. The mom or dad taxi service is a universal thing. I say, "Yeah, eff that noise." My kid does one thing. One. I take him to karate once a week. Anything more is just too much and can wait until he can drive himself.

Ad failed to load

Keeping The House Spotless

My house is messy. I have two boys under the age of five and cleaning up after them is an exercise in futility. I could pick up the same truck or the same blocks every day, or I could just leave them since they are just going to pull it right back out.

When people come over and I apologize for the mess, I am not being self-deprecating or falsely modest. I know my house is trashed and I know that if I expended more effort I could keep it tidy, but really, I'm just too lazy to care.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at Names.org recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

7 Things A Mom Really Means When She Says She Doesn't Want Anything On Mother's Day

Every year my family asks me what I want for Mother's Day, and every single year I tell them the same thing: Nothing. So, by now, they know that when I say "nothing" I absolutely do not mean "nothing." In fact, there are more than a few things a mom …
By Candace Ganger

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

8 Fascinating Facts About Babies Born In May, The Luckiest Month Of All

The height of all things fresh and springy, May is an excellent month to have a baby. It's a time of growth, graduations, and outdoor celebrations. And these fascinating facts about May babies will give you more reasons than ever to appreciate childr…
By Lindsay E. Mack

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

13 Unique (& Totally Not Mainstream) Mother's Day Gifts For The Hipster Mom

Hipsters thrive on being outside the norm and not really digging anything considered "mainstream." Whether it's in their fashion, what music they listen to, the books they read, or how they enjoy beverages, there's just something that makes them dist…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's How To Introduce Your Pet To Your Baby & Make Everything As Calm As Possible

Our home, which we lovingly refer to as “the funny farm,” is filled with four-legged family members. We have two crazy beagles and two cat jerks, and boy are they loved and spoiled. (As they should be.) But we are now finally having a baby of our own…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's The Right Birth Method For You, According To Your Zodiac Sign

If you're pregnant, you've probably given childbirth some serious thought. Some moms-to-be prepare a meticulous birth plan, while others are comfortable just going with the flow. And me? Well, I made a plan... but that plan was useless when faced wit…
By Steph Montgomery

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills
)}