10 Things Non-Moms Say That Moms Would Love To Never Hear Again

Ad failed to load

I am an extremely busy mother of two, who also happens to be employed outside of the home, so being social for me is a special occasion that doesn't happen nearly as often as I'd like. That's why I'm so beyond thankful for all of my friends, not just the moms, but the non-moms too, because they're the ones that keep me grounded. I am especially lucky to have a group of non-mom friends that understand the things that non-moms should never say to their mom friends, because yes, that's kind of a big deal.

When I look back on the smug things I said about parenting before I became a parent, I simultaneously laugh and cringe. I know now that my ignorance was not bliss, but I still snicker at my extreme level of naivety in regards to my own meritless omnipotence. My first year of parenting changed my life in ways I didn't see coming; I learned a lot of lessons that forced me to eat my pre-parent smugness on more than one occasion. Having a baby did more than just change my body, it changed my perspective, too.

Having been the person who was not yet a parent, but assumed she knew everything there was to know about parenting without having actually experienced it, I understand that there are things that non-parents should never say to parents. Having said a few of the following myself (I know, and I'm completely embarrassed), I am able to heed well-intentioned caution to my non-parent friends not just about the things you shouldn't talk about if you're not a parent, but also the things that non-parents should never say to their friends who are parents:

Ad failed to load

"I'm So Exhausted"


You're allowed to be exhausted, of course, but telling a new mom how tired you are when there's a good chance she hasn't slept more than a few hours at a time in a long time, is probably going to make her resent you a little (if not lose her mind). I remember showing up to my friend's kid's first birthday party hungover (before I had kids of my own), and talking about how exhausted I was. I know now that this was obviously super inconsiderate of me, and I cringe when I think about ever being that person. If you're tired, that's totally cool, but maybe we should just all agree to avoid comparing the culprits behind our sleepless nights.

"It's Not Kid Friendly"

No, not all functions or gatherings or events are kid friendly, but when you tell a parent that something isn't "kid friendly," all we hear you say is, "Leave your stupid kid at home because he or she ruins everything." This is obviously an exaggeration, but being a parent already feels isolating enough without having our friends basically tell us that we're not welcome somewhere if we've got our kids in tow.

"Can't You Just Get A Sitter?"


Well, maybe, but maybe not. Finding a babysitter, especially last minute, is never as easy as it sounds. It involves having to trust another person with your child's life, whether you know the person keeping them or not; It involves planning, and possibly money, not to mention the complete alignment of the stars. Sure, we need to get out and be social and feel like normal humans again, but doing so at the drop of a hat really isn't as easy as people without kids make it sound. If it were, we'd probably show up in public sans kids a little more often.

Ad failed to load

"I Would Die If I Found Out I Was Pregnant"


Nope, no you wouldn't. Being pregnant isn't a death sentence, and when you tell your friend with kids that finding out you were pregnant would basically be the end of your time here on earth, well, we kind of want to kick you in the shins. It's completely okay if you don't want to ever have kids (and pregnancy doesn't mean you have to become a mother, because we have options now), but try not to make those of us that do have children feel like our lives are over because of a life-choice we made, because they're not. Our lives are different after kids, yes, but they're certainly not over.

"Where Have You Been, Stranger?"

Oh you know, just taking care of my kids. I have a friend that asks me this literally every time I see him, and I can't help but to get even more annoyed each time. Like, where the hell do you think I've been? In the wilderness? On an abandoned island hanging out with a volleyball named Wilson? I'm not an abandoned Tom Hanks, sir, I'm a mom, so obviously that's what I've been doing.

"I Know What You Mean, My Puppy (Insert Ridiculous Comparison Between Puppies And Babies Here)"


Puppies are a time consuming, yes, but they're not babies. Comparing a furry animal that can eat on its own or pee outside (one that doesn't require burping or breastfeeding or doesn't need to be taught, you know, everything about everything) to a baby that needs you every second of every day, just isn't accurate. So saying, "Yeah, I know what you mean about being so tired. I had to get up and let my puppy out at 2:00 in the morning!" is going to make your friend that has kids, and definitely loses sleep every night, want to slap you. Did you check to see if your puppy was breathing every couple of hours? Did you breastfeed your puppy? Did you change your puppy's explosive diaper? No? Then don't compare puppies to babies.

Ad failed to load

"I Would Never (Insert Thing They Think They Would Never Do If They Had Kids Here)"

Right, you would never let your kids watch too much TV or feed them food that wasn't freshly picked from the organic garden in your back yard or let them pitch a monumental fit in a public place, because you're a parenting expert. We all were parenting experts before we had kids, myself included, but when good intentions meet reality, we often fall short of our own unrealistic expectations. I consider myself to be a somewhat seasoned parent at this point in my life, and I still don't know what the hell I'm doing some days. Sometimes, my kids eat broccoli for breakfast, and sometimes they get into the dog food, and yes, probably swallow a piece or two. Regardless, they're alive and they're healthy and they're happy (well, most of the time), and I'm no expert, but I think that's all that really matters. Besides, dog food is packed with protein.

"You're No Fun Anymore"


What do you mean "no fun?" You don't consider constructing the perfect blanket fort or making water balloons or baking the perfect cookies or being able to quote Doc McStuffins to be fun? Parents are still fun, it's just that our versions of fun have changed a little since we had kids.

"How Do You Put Up With This All The Time?"

Wine, mostly. Also, surrounding ourselves with friends who don't judge the circus that is life with toddlers.

Ad failed to load

"Ugh, I Can't Stand Kids"


Really? If you're telling your friend who has kids that you can't stand kids, you're probably a terrible person. Again, if you don't want kids, that's totally cool and understandable, but don't express that hearing kids cry makes your ovaries shrivel up and die to your friend that has kids. First of all, rude. Second, being a parent is tough, and by telling someone with kids that you can't stand kids, it makes that parent feel like you pity her life; like her days disgust you, and like she's unworthy of your holiness because she decided to start a family. We've got different lives, sure, but that doesn't mean that we can't find common ground and try to understand one another. Women with and without kids need all the support they can get, so supporting one another despite our differences is something we should all be willing and able to do.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

6 Early Signs You're Going To Have A Short Labor, According To Experts

As far as I'm concerned, a short labor is right up there with winning the lottery in terms of lucky life events. (And when I was actually in labor, I would absolutely have traded a bucketful of lottery winnings for a speedier birth.) While some women…
By Kelly Mullen-McWilliams

Kids Will Love These TV Shows & Movies Coming To Netflix In March

You can always count on Netflix to keep it fresh: though there are already so many movies and shows to choose from, every month there's an influx of new content to keep your entire family entertained. As February enters its final weeks, it's time to …
By Megan Walsh

Here Are 10 Ways To Boost Your Baby's Immunity To The Flu

As I'm sure you've read in the thousands upon thousands of articles written about it this winter, the flu is spreading like wildfire and it's bad. Really bad. This strand of flu is the worst we've had in a very long time and it's the most widespread,…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Khloé Kardashian Asked Twitter About Her Bump, & Moms Totally Delivered

Like her younger sister Kylie Jenner, Khloé Kardashian managed to keep most of her pregnancy a sort-of secret. But unlike Jenner, Kardashian chose to publicly announce her pregnancy several months before the baby's due date. While there's no wrong wa…
By Sophie Hirsh

21 Moms Share The Most Surprising Part About Having A C-Section

Honestly, I don't think we, as a culture, talk about C-sections nearly enough, especially considering so many mothers experience them. And because of a number of factors, the little we do talk about it always seems to be a familiar narrative: "It's n…
By Jamie Kenney

13 Yummy Instant Pot Recipes To Make Under 30 Minutes

An Instant Pot seems to be the must-have appliance in every kitchen these days. If you are anything like me and never knew the beauty of a Instant Pot, you are about to have your life changed. Basically, you put some ingredients into a pot, set the t…
By Kristin Manna

9 Things The First Six Months Of Motherhood Will Teach You About Your Baby

Personally, the first six months of motherhood was a mixed bag. I learned some harsh lessons about myself that made taking care of my baby seem overwhelming. For example, I was clueless, and no amount of research could help me feel like anything but …
By Steph Montgomery

11 Photos You *Must* Take During The Last Days Of Your Pregnancy

During my first pregnancy, I took a photo each week to document my growing belly. I stopped around 36 weeks, though. I hated how I looked in those pictures, and didn't think I'd want to relive those moments. I was wrong. My second pregnancy was a dum…
By Steph Montgomery

6 Red Flags To Definitely Look Out For After Your Baby Falls

The first time my infant son tried to take a few steps, he tumbled and bumped his head on the coffee table. My blood turned to ice in my veins and I froze. There truly isn't anything quite like the feeling a parent gets when their little one gets hur…
By Sarah Bunton

These 9 Instant Pot Recipes Will Make Even The Pickiest Eater Happy At The Table

Like any parent, I've had my share of parenting hits and misses, but one of my favorite "wins" is my daughter's diverse palate. I don't even know if I can take credit for it, but I would like to think I had something to do with her love for lentils, …
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

Turns Out, Kim Kardashian's Favorite Mom Products Look A Lot Like Your Own Faves

Being a mom is really hard work, especially for the first few months, and Kim Kardashian West is no different in that regard. Now the mother of three, Kardashian says that there are a few products she just can't live without when it comes to raising …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

10 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 30s

If you're like me, you evaluate the pros and cons of any major life decision. When my husband and I were considering starting a family, I thought about my career, education, and financial stability. I wanted to know how a pregnancy and childbirth wou…
By Steph Montgomery

Soda Might Hurt Your Fertility, Study Says, & Here's What You Can Do

Who doesn't love sugary drinks? I stopped drinking soda years ago, but I still love gulping down those fancy Starbucks coffee beverages. I don't have a big sweet tooth, but I am a sucker for sugar-sweetened beverages every now-and-then. Turns out, th…
By Annamarya Scaccia

5 Red Flags Your Toddler Isn't Eating Enough

Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters, at least in my experience. You offer mashed potatoes, they want french fries. You give them crackers, they scream for chips. It's frustrating, to be sure, but it's usually their way of vying for independence. It…
By Candace Ganger

35 Moms Share The Most Disgusting Things Their Husbands Do

I'm a human being who revels in challenges. I like when people present me with one, especially if they don't think I can meet or succeed it, and I like taking a challenge on, especially if it's unexpected. So when I aimed to uncover the most disgusti…
By Jamie Kenney

How Having Kids In Your 20s Affects You Later In Life

For parents, like myself, who had kids in their 20s, there are a number of questions that come to mind. When you're deciding what your future will look like, you'll likely consider what this means for your health, career, and more down the line. Thin…
By Tessa Shull

Study: Drinking Two Glasses Of Wine A Day Is Good For Your Mind — Here's Why

There’s more scientific proof that a daily drink or two isn't necessarily a bad thing and could have a place in an overall healthy lifestyle. A new study out of the University of Rochester Medical Center (URMC) in New York found that — in mice, at le…
By Tiffany Thomas

Research Says Eating Carbs Can Lead To A Healthy Pregnancy, So Bring On The Pasta

In the world of me, no food is better than bread. I know it's supposed to be pretty terrible for you, high in calories, low in protein, and full of that modern-day demon, gluten... but guys, it's really yummy. Especially warm out of the oven, when th…
By Jen McGuire

These Photos Of Prince George Then & Now Will Give You Serious Baby Fever

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their third child in Spring 2018. With all of the excitement surrounding the new baby, it's easy to forget all of the good times that have already passed. The couple's eldest is already well into the sc…
By Azure Hall

This Is, Hands Down, The *Grossest* Thing Babies Do Inside The Womb

Your baby's life in the womb may be safe and warm, but it's also kind of grody. Seriously, the whole process of growing into a human being includes more than a few icky moments along the way. But this is the grossest thing babies do inside the womb b…
By Lindsay E. Mack