10 Thoughts Every Pregnant Woman Has When She's Carrying Low

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I was warned my second pregnancy would be different than my first. Still, I never factored in that carrying lower could be one of the things that threw me for a metaphorical loop. While it’s not a bad thing, per se, it is different enough that I’m noticing and processing this change. In my experience, there’s a number of thoughts every pregnant woman has when she’s carrying low that are a direct result of her somewhat-surprising bump placement.

I mean, most women I know are at least somewhat familiar with what it feels like to have someone’s eyes drift downward while you’re talking to them. That’s, unfortunately, a reality of having breasts and the male gaze and living in a patriarchal society where what a woman looks like is more important than what a woman says. However, not everyone understands what it’s like to have an even more conspicuous bump even lower on your body. I’ve had a number of people shirk the old polite rule of never asking a woman about her pregnancy in the off-chance he's not pregnant, because there’s obviously no other explanation for what’s happening to me.

Yes, while a pregnant woman will probably have to deal with someone staring at her midsection while she's talking no matter how she’s carrying, for me it’s been a bit of a trip to experience the subtle and not-so-subtle differences of carrying low vs. carrying high. Here’s just a small sampling of what goes through my head on a typical day:

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"OMG, What Was That?"


Every new feeling that isn’t an obvious baby kick or blip of digestion puts me on high alert. While I imagine that most women nearing the end of their third trimester feel this way, I think it’s slightly heightened because I know that baby doesn’t have that much further to travel.

"I’m Totally In Labor!"

Right? I mean, I think this baby dropped like 12 weeks ago and I just felt some suspect cramps so clearly that's what's happening. Get the keys and grab the hospital bag.

"Oh, JK. I Guess That’s Not Labor."


Like, I realize that this baby doesn’t actually have a say in whether or not she’s dropped and ready to go, but seriously, I wish she’d stop getting my hopes up with all of these positioning teases.

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"Maybe Labor Will Be Easy?"

Maybe gravity will work in my favor? Maybe this kid is so low it'll take one push and I'll be done? Maybe I won't feel any pain because this birth will be some miraculous breakthrough in science?

One can dream.

"Are My Clothes Supposed To Fit Like This?"


I guess if you mean constantly pulling up the panel of my maternity pants, and pulling down the hems of my shirt, then OK, sure. The clothes "fit."

"Oh, I see. 'Fit' Is A Relative Term."

I seriously don’t remember experience this constant struggle to maintain full-belly coverage during my first pregnancy. I suppose there’s other factors that could be to blame (my bump is larger and my overall shape is slightly different), but still, I can’t help but feel annoyed that my clothes aren’t really doing the job I hired them to do.

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"Why Don’t Clothing Companies Make Longer Shirts?"


I realize the window of need for this type of shirt amounts to maybe six or eight weeks of a woman’s life (or more, depending on how many pregnancies she has, or how much she just liked wearing long shirts). But seriously, it seems to me like this is a severe void that could easily be filled by an enterprising clothing brand. I don’t even need credit for the idea, I’m just trying to help my fellow women.

"This High-Waisted Pants Trend Is Def Not Going To Happen For Me Anytime Soon"

Last one about clothes, I promise. I’m struggling with all the cute high-waisted styles I’m seeing these days, since there's no way in hell I can wear them. Perhaps I wouldn’t feel so strongly if they weren’t totally off-limits to me, but you know what they always say: the grass is always greener on the other side. Or, in this case, the pants are always more desirable when you don’t feel like there’s a watermelon duct-taped to your torso.

"How Long Has That Table Been There?"


Actually, you don’t need to answer that. No matter how long the table has been there, I will still bump into it with my belly.

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"Is There A Way To Feel Good About Waddling?"


Like, are there any communities that revere women who waddle? No? How about awards I can have someone nominate me for? It’d be really nice to find some external validation right about now.

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