Sex and having a baby go hand-in-hand (for most people, although that definitely isn't always the case). Whenever you talk about having a baby, for the most part, sex is involved. Once that baby arrives, however, the sex-game changes and you don't really hear much about postpartum sex or sex after baby. Enter, the internet. Thankfully, Twitter is a thing, and there are some hilarious tweets about postpartum sex that every parent will find funny (and sad, but mostly funny, because if you can't laugh at this stuff you're in trouble.)
When my partner and I decided to continue having sex after having our daughter, and when I decided I was physically and emotionally ready, we didn't take to social media and share our postpartum sex experience like so many of our parenting counterparts. I will say, however, that hearing from other parents about the trials, tribulations and straight-up hilarities that come along with postpartum sex, helped my partner and I to remember that we weren't alone. Postpartum sex isn't necessarily easy (like, at all) and can take some time to get used to. Adding humor and solidarity to the mix made the entire process much easier.
Plus, while it can be exhausting and frustrating and difficult for new parents to find some (read: any) alone time, if you take a step back and look at the entire situation subjectively, you can't help but admit that it's honestly really funny to try to juggle parenting and sex. Like parenthood itself, postpartum sex is another challenge that has the potential to strengthen your relationship and, well, give you a few laughs.
Future Therapy Bills Will Probably Be A Thing
If you're raising your kid in a sex-positive environment, however, the fact that you and your partner have sex isn't going to be scarring. I promise. When sex is consensual, safe and respectful, it's a pretty awesome thing.
Stop. Just stop. We can't even handle it.
You Do What You Gotta Do
Successful distraction for the kids? Check. Partner? Check. Locked door? Check. Alright, let's go. We have five minutes or less.
Well That's, Um, Different
You try having an orgasm while replaying the theme song to Blue's Clues in your head. Parents are resilient, people.
Sex? Or Sleep? Or Sex? Or Sleep?
You have a very big choice to make: have sex with your partner or get some much needed sleep? Have sex, duh. Unless, of course, you really want sleep. I mean, it's a toss up (and sleep usually wins, most of the time).
"Getting Lucky" Is Just, Well, Different
In their defense, pizza is almost just as good as sex, so in a way you're not really sacrificing anything. Because pizza.