11 Hilarious Tweets That Totally Sum Up The Holidays As A New Mom

Ad failed to load

When most of us imagine the holidays with a newborn, there are lots of sparkly lights, cozy cuddles by the Christmas tree, and counting your blessings every four minutes for the new bundle that has arrived this season. But in actuality, real life as a new mom doesn't always line up with that vision. If your first holidays as a new mom are shaping up to be a little lumpy, you're not alone, and we have these new moms of Twitter to thank for reminding us of that with these hilarious holiday tweets for new moms.

Reality as a new mom, in fact, looks more like this: wondering why you're buying presents for a baby who has no idea what's going on, breastfeeding several times late at night and in the early morning while reluctantly filling stockings, and melting into an emotional puddle at yet another Lifetime movie. Whether you're pumping during a power outage or scrambling to replace the holiday pajamas that are way too small for your unexpectedly giant newborn, rest assured you are in good company.

And while Twitter can be a source of stress for many, these new moms are hilariously using the platform to take the edge off with their totally candid and hilarious tweets that sum up the holidays as a new mom. Read 'em and weep — with laughter.

Ad failed to load

1Dumb Ideas

Holidays sometimes make us believe we're superhuman, attempting feats that will inevitably end in a total meltdown, either by mom or baby.

2Lazy Mama

The benefit of having a child too young to have expectations on Christmas is that you have one more year of not trying to impress an opinionated person who is approximately two to three decades younger than you.

3Unwanted Opinions

Let no man or woman stand in the way of a new mom and her perfect first family Christmas card, am I right?

Ad failed to load

4Emotional Rollercoaster

Those Lifetime movies can reduce anyone to a pile of mush, but a new mom? Watch out.

5Thoughtful Gifts

When you're a new mom, you have a while new list of (lowered) expectations. Your tally of consecutive sleeping hours ranks high on that list, and anytime your newborn let's you "sleep in" is the most priceless gift to a new mom.

5Breastfeeding Bonus

If you're feeling overwhelmed this holiday season, take a moment to consider the benefits of being up at all hours of the night like this mom. Use your waking hours to sneak around the house and get some sh*t done.

Ad failed to load

6Christmas Wish

Before you were a new mom, you probably hoped for some kind of fancy accessory or beauty product. One you have a baby, your priorities change and your wish list is probably now filled with chocolate, naps, wine and for those desperate times, whiskey.

7Power Outage

Talk about the resourcefulness of a new mom! Power outage? No problem! Just go pump in the car to make sure baby gets fed!

8Survival Of The Fittest

Is this a thing? Maybe it's time to invest in some newborn sized noise canceling headphones...

Ad failed to load

9Milk for Santa

Are you kidding? That's like better than any local, organic, free-range milk you could buy at any store.

10Christmas Grinch

Breastfeeding mamas can totally relate to this tweet. Breasts seem to grow and shrink at least three sizes between feedings. But I think it's safe to say that a new mom's heart also grows at least three sizes when a new baby enters her life.

11DIY Christmas Sweater

Postpartum moms know that the hair loss is real. While this sounds kind of gross, it's also so spot on.

Check out Romper's new video series, Romper's Doula Diaries:

Watch full episodes of Romper's Doula Diaries on Facebook Watch.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

The Entire Family Can Enjoy These Movies & Shows Coming To Netflix In June

It's just one of those sad facts of life: every month, shows and movies vanish from Netflix, their varied excitements no longer at your fingertips. But luckily the streaming service is always prepared to fill that content void with lots of new things…
By Megan Walsh

The Reason Why Babies Smile At You Will Seriously Make You Smile

Whether you're currently the recipient of your own baby's sweet smiles or you just seem to be a magnet for baby grins in general, you might find yourself wondering why babies are always smiling at you. Sure, you could be a 'smile whisperer' but scien…
By Kate Miller

8 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say That, Yes, You Are Their Favorite

For a baby to show a preference for a specific person is not only normal, but an essential part of their development. Babies need to form strong attachments to their caregivers for their emotional, social, and physical wellbeing. Usually, but not alw…
By Kimmie Fink

10 Reasons Why I Won't Apologize For Giving My Toddler A Pacifier

My first child had no interest in a pacifier. I tried a couple times to get him to take one, but he always spat them out and gave me an incredulous, judgmental look. But my second? It was love at first suckle. And after a while, the incredulous, judg…
By Jamie Kenney

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at Names.org recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

8 Fascinating Facts About Babies Born In May, The Luckiest Month Of All

The height of all things fresh and springy, May is an excellent month to have a baby. It's a time of growth, graduations, and outdoor celebrations. And these fascinating facts about May babies will give you more reasons than ever to appreciate childr…
By Lindsay E. Mack

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills