11 Things Your Baby Is Definitely Thinking When You're Babywearing

Ad failed to load

So, my family’s getting ready to move later this summer, and even though I haven’t used any of our baby carriers in months, I couldn’t bear to pack all of them. I mean, my son isn’t even a baby anymore, and I still just want to feel like I have the option to wear him. Though, I can’t help but wonder, what do kids think think when you babywear? Are they as happy as I am? Do they know how much I love to smell the top of their heads? Are they, too, wondering what happened to their left foot, and how it got trapped at that weird angle? The universe is so full of mysteries, I can’t even stand it.

Seriously, though, the only reason I don’t wear babies all the time is because it would be weird (and probably not well-received) to strap other people’s children to my chest. And, really, would babywearing be quite as special if it wasn’t my own kid? I have my doubts, but I hope to never actually find out, because I definitely don’t want to ever be in a scenario where baby wearing isn't wonderful.

I used to babywear my son all the time, but now that he's a bonafide toddler, our babywearing days are, for the most part, behind us. That doesn't mean I don't wax nostalgic every now and then, especially when packing, and it definitely doesn't mean I don't imagine what babywearing was like for my son. I'll never know for sure, but it wouldn't surprise me if he thought the following things:

Ad failed to load

"This Snuggling Thing Isn't So Bad"


Right? Right? I'm so glad you feel that way, because that's the main reason I like wearing you. I mean, sure, it's also convenient and I don't have to lug a stroller around and you keep me warm, you little furnace you, but have I told you lately that the top of your head smells amazing?

"Thanks For Showering, Mom," Or, "Please Shower Next Time, Mom!"


However established your mom-bathing routines post baby (no judgement here), I can imagine your kid notices. I mean, anyone who's face is that close to your skin, has to. Right?

"I'm Not Arm Candy. I'm Chest Candy."


Yes, yes you are. Thanks to you and your chubby cheeks, I'm the most popular lady at the grocery store today (and every day).

Ad failed to load

"I'm Hot"


Yeah, sorry about that. I'm pretty sure there's really no way around the exchange of body heat that occurs when you're all up on me like that.

"This Is The Ideal Way To Sleep. I'm Just Going To Sleep Right Here, So You Can't Do Anything You Actually Intended On Doing When You Put Me On. That's Not A Problem, Is It?"


No, I suppose that's not a problem. Unless, of course, you call being stuck in a forced snuggle with your adorable child a problem, which I sure as hell don't.

"But, I'm Going To Need You To Continue Walking Around Because if You Don't, I'm Going To Wake Up And Fuss In Your Face"


So, is this how other moms lose the baby weight? Endless circles around the living room with an extra twenty-something pounds strapped to you so they can keep sleeping?

Ad failed to load

"Keep Moving. Please Don't Ever Stop."


*Sigh* Don't worry, son. I won't.

"Take Me To The Top Of That Hill! Let's Go Climb Mountains! We Can Conquer The World!"


Easier said than done.

"This Is A Pretty Ambitious Way To Carry Me, Consider My Diaper Is Right Up Against You."


Trust me, I know. You think I would have learned by now, but I keep fighting the natural course of nature.

Ad failed to load

"Don't Think I Don't Notice You Trying To Go About Your Business Like Everything's Fine"


He's all, "I see you, Mom. I see you."

"Your Shirt Is Scratchy"


Everything is scratchy compared to the soft blankets you normally have. That said, hang on, I'll go get one of those blankets and figure out how to fix this.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

15 Baby Names With Unique Nicknames, So Your Family Has Options

I love a good diminutive name, also known as a nickname. I believe I’m partial to them because of my own name, Abigale, but I go by Abi. And since they’re both uniquely spelled, everyone thinks my name is pronounced Ah-bee for some reason — but even …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

The Entire Family Can Enjoy These Movies & Shows Coming To Netflix In June

It's just one of those sad facts of life: every month, shows and movies vanish from Netflix, their varied excitements no longer at your fingertips. But luckily the streaming service is always prepared to fill that content void with lots of new things…
By Megan Walsh

The Reason Why Babies Smile At You Will Seriously Make You Smile

Whether you're currently the recipient of your own baby's sweet smiles or you just seem to be a magnet for baby grins in general, you might find yourself wondering why babies are always smiling at you. Sure, you could be a 'smile whisperer' but scien…
By Kate Miller

8 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say That, Yes, You Are Their Favorite

For a baby to show a preference for a specific person is not only normal, but an essential part of their development. Babies need to form strong attachments to their caregivers for their emotional, social, and physical wellbeing. Usually, but not alw…
By Kimmie Fink

10 Reasons Why I Won't Apologize For Giving My Toddler A Pacifier

My first child had no interest in a pacifier. I tried a couple times to get him to take one, but he always spat them out and gave me an incredulous, judgmental look. But my second? It was love at first suckle. And after a while, the incredulous, judg…
By Jamie Kenney

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at Names.org recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills