The hardest part of adjusting to life after having a baby is just that — adjusting to life after having a baby. Everything is legitimately harder now that you're a parent and even though your little one can bring a whole lot of joy and happiness to your life, they can also wreak havoc on certain areas, like your sex life. If the thought of postpartum sex makes you roll your eyes, I get it, but there are things your partner can do to make postpartum sex more appealing and get you back in the game.
Because there's only so much you can do by yourself when you're covered in spit-up, you're leaking breast milk, and you haven't had a shower since yesterday morning. In those moments, postpartum sex is the absolute last thing you're thinking of. Instead, you're daydreaming about a nice, long nap. You're daydreaming about a basket of freshly folded laundry. You're daydreaming about Netflix, eating a hot meal, and having both hands free.
But if you want to rekindle that intimacy with your partner and if you're ready to have sex, it just doesn't sound worth it, there are 11 things your partner can do to make postpartum sex more appealing. Instead of being totally grossed out and irritated by the idea, you'll find yourself daydreaming a little more about hitting the sheets with your partner. (Sheets that were freshly washed and put back on the bed while you were napping. This is a daydream, right?)
1They Can Stop Saying "You Don't Have To Do Anything"
Because seriously, sex doesn't sound appealing when your partner's argument is "I'll do all the work, you can just lay there." No thank you. Once this is off the table, it immediately makes postpartum sex like 50 percent more appealing.
2They Can Get A Babysitter
Who wants to have sex while your baby is rooting around in the bassinet next to you? Even if the babysitter is your mother-in-law coming to sit with the baby in the living room while you two go upstairs, it still counts. This alone will make the act of postpartum sex seem less daunting.
3They Don't Pressure You
There is nothing worse than someone pressuring you to do something, especially when that something is sex and that someone is your partner. You've just had a baby and the last thing you need is to feel pressured into postpartum sex. Plus, how is that supposed to make you excited about sex? Spoiler alert: It doesn't.
4They Take Your Lead On Your Breasts
For a lot of new moms, postpartum sex is wildly unappealing in part because of your breasts. Whether you're breastfeeding or not, they've gone through some changes and you may be nervous about taking them back into the bedroom. But a partner that lets you take the lead can not only keep you from being anxious about it, it can also make you more eager to have sex knowing you get to call the shots on what happens with your breasts. Wear a bra, keep breast pads inside your lingerie, whatever you need to feel comfortable and sexy.
5They Take Their Time During Foreplay
Your partner may be excited to get things started since it's been a while, but a partner that takes their time during foreplay? Yes. That is exactly what you need to make the entire idea of sex more appealing. You may be nervous about how postpartum sex will feel so when your partner agrees to go slow and really enjoy the moment, you will feel even more relaxed about it.
6They Can Clear The Room Of Burp Cloths
Because all of the candles in the world can't hide that curdled breast milk and formula spit-up smell.
7They Can Start Turning You On Earlier In The Day
Whether they send you dirty text messages or tell you how sexy you look in the shower that morning, a little effort to get the mood started earlier in the day can really make a difference.
8They Can Let You Take A Nap
Everything is more appealing when you've had some sleep. Everything.
9They Can Make You Feel Sexy & Desirable With Little Things
Like wrapping their arms around you while you're washing bottles or kissing your neck while you're both exhausted on the couch. It's those little moments, love in action, that will remind you of how sexy and desirable you are, making you want to hit the sheets with them later.
10They Let You Call The Shots
They may want to start up the night, but they listen to you when you ask them to go slower or faster. After all, you're the one who recovered from childbirth. It's important that your partner listen to your body and let you call the shots about how the evening goes.
11They Take Care Of Your To-Do List
Because postpartum sex is infinitely more appealing when you don't have a list of chores to tackle like laundry or washing bottles or picking up all of the half-full coffee cups littering the house.