It absolutely amazes me that people managed to raise babies in a time before smartphones. I can't even imagine going through the earliest weeks of nursing, when babies nurse round the clock for what feels like forever, without being able to chat with friends (and watch Netflix, of course). Moms couldn’t take pictures of all the adorable things their babies did and moms actually had to get out of bed and make phone calls instead of sending those texts every mom sends her BFF about her partner during maternity leave (or really, the time after they had their babies, since the concept of “maternity leave” as a clearly-defined thing is still relatively new).
At the risk of stating the obvious, having a baby makes maintaining your relationship harder. At the same time, sharing the experience of parenting together can bring you and your partner closer than you've ever been before. The physical and emotional ups and downs and back and forth of this crazy, transitional time can be dizzying (even under the best of circumstances and for the "healthiest" of relationships).
That's why I'm so grateful for my phone and unlimited texting plans. (Yes, I remember when you had to pay per text, and hit the same button multiple times to get different letters and symbols and, yes, the fact that our kids are amazed by that — and by phones with cords — makes me feel old.) Even if you and your best friend have totally opposite schedules and can't necessarily talk every time you want to, you can still keep them up0-to-date on every last heart-warming, irritating thing that is happening with the occasionally unrecognizable relationship between yourself and your partner. That means they can still help keep you grounded when your head is everywhere but on straight. Insert praise hands emoji here.
“They’re Driving Me Crazy!”
Sometimes, are partners really are driving us up the wall. Other times, it’s just sleep deprivation and/or hormones. Fortunately, your BFF doesn’t judge. They know to be supportive and commiserate either way.
“They’re So Sweet”
Having a new person in the house also brings out many folks’ sweet side, too. Sometimes, it even brings out the “bring home surprise cupcakes ‘cause I know you’re having a tough day” side. Naturally, you have to text your bestie before scarfing them down. #HumbleBrag for life, you guys.
Approximately 1,843,275 Photos Of The Baby Sleeping On Them
The only thing cuter than your new little one is said new little one contentedly snoozing on your beloved. It’s basically impossible not to take millions of photos of this exact moment. It’s also impossible not to send at least a couple to your best friend.
“I Feel Like I Have Two Babies!”
Or more than two babies, if you’ve got multiples or a really demanding pet. Yes, you love your partner to death, but admit it: some moments with your partner are just really, really hard. Some days, everybody is whining. Some days, it just feels like there are more children in the house than you bargained for. Some days, there's really only one person you can say the aforementioned to.
“I Don’t Know What I’d Do Without Them”
Thankfully, the “my partner is so clutch” moments tend to outnumber the “extra child” moments. Parenting a new human can inspire all kinds of helpfulness, ingenuity, and just general awesomeness that you may never have seen before in your partner, and you just have to tell somebody who’ll appreciate it.
“OMG Can I Vent For A Minute?”
But what goes up, must come down. All the stress of figuring out how to parent this new child together (plus not getting enough sleep, plus trying to prepare to return to work, plus not having much time for yourselves or each other) is bound to lead to occasional friction. Happens to everybody.
“They’re The Best”
Because it’s true. Fortunately, your BFF understands to disregard what you said in those other texts, when you were tired and mad and hungry and said your partner was the absolute worst.
“Not Gonna Lie…”
“They’re so lucky they didn’t have to birth this person! Am I wrong for hating them a little? This is so unfair,” said every biological mom ever.
“Can You Believe They…”
...aren’t doing all the things for the baby exactly the way I do them? The absolute nerve.
“The Baby Looks Just Like Them”
If you and your partner are a bio-parents in a straight relationship, it’s almost inevitable that in one of the eight million photos you take of your new addition, you’ll basically see a tiny version of your partner’s face (which you have to text immediately). Or, if you’re hardcore like me, you’ll do a little side-by-side of the exact photo this specific facial expression reminds you of before sending.
“No But Seriously, Can I Vent For A Minute?”
“Now you know I love them more than anything, but…”
“How Did I Get So Lucky?”
Uploads selfie of exhausted co-parents with loads of love in their tired eyes, hits send.