13 Reasons Why I Refuse To Get A Christmas Tree

Ad failed to load

Christmas trees are for the birds. Seriously. Now, before you call me a Scrooge or tell me how I am ruining my kids' childhood, hear me out. There are plenty of completely legitimate reasons why I refuse to get a Christmas tree and surprisingly, none of them have anything to do with hating Christmas or ruining Christmas for my kids.

I've never really liked Christmas trees. Even as a child. They are messy, smelly, and time consuming, and take a lot of work to obtain and maintain. Plus, they cost money, which is something we don't have a lot of and, if we did, we sure as heck wouldn't spend it on an over-priced decoration that is only good for a few weeks, will potentially burn down our house, and will inevitably make a huge mess. You may think that I feel this way because I am not a Christian. Meh. Christmas trees aren't either. Don't believe me? Google that sh*t.

But, I digress.

Ad failed to load

"What about the children? Please, think of the children!" You mean the kids that'll inevitably mess with any tree I bring home? The ones who manage to break ornaments, knock the tree down, or get crushed by it? Well, Christmas trees are both dangerous and unbelievably alluring to children, so I am thinking of them. I'm thinking that bringing a tree covered in shiny, electric glass into our home is a seriously bad idea. So, before you write me off as a no fun, terrible mom, I assure you I have very legitimate reasons for not getting a Christmas tree, including the following:

Ad failed to load

Because Ain't Nobody Got Time For That

Seriously, between work, chasing four kids around, other holiday-related activities, and ever-elusive sleep, I seriously don't have time. This is not a high priority for our family and definitely not more important than sleep.

Because I Have Kids


Did I mention I have four kids? Well, I do. The youngest is a rambunctious 4-year-old, and only a couple have any impulse control at all. The last thing we need is to bring another potential weapon, fire hazard, or something that could crush one or all of them into the house. Especially, one with shiny lights and pretty, breakable ornaments.

Because "Bah Humbug"

It's not that I hate the holidays. It's that I think that a lot of the traditions that we are supposed to like around the holidays are no fun at all. I believe in celebrating the holiday traditions I like and that work for our family. I don't feel a need to do things that I'm supposed to do, because of tradition, when I don't like or enjoy them. You don't own me, Christmas.

Ad failed to load

Because I Have Cats


We have enough trouble keeping the cats out of trees outside. Why the heck would I bring a tree inside, only to cover it with electric glass, tinsel and/or breakables? I have enough unlucky things happen to me without inviting them in. Murphy's Law.

Because There Are Other Things I Would Rather Spend My Money On

This time of year is expensive. So expensive. I can't add another cost to our budget. I would much rather fill my home with wine, pie, and a reasonable amount of presents, than a dying or plastic tree.

Because I'm Broke


When you're broke, it's not even a matter of opportunity cost. I can't afford to get the things I want, let alone an expensive thing I don't.

Ad failed to load

Because Real Trees Are Messy

Remember that scene in nearly every Christmas special or film when all of the needles fall off the tree and hilarity ensues or the characters learn the true meaning of Christmas? Why would I want that in my house?

Because Christmas Trees Can Be Dangerous


I'll wait here while you google Christmas tree accidents. You'll discover the risk of fires, toppling, and electrocution, not to mention harm from breakable and choking hazardous decorations. They are dangerous AF.

Because Fake Trees Are Ugly

One year we did get a tree. I picked out the ugliest fake, pink, tinsel tree I could find and decorated it with a rainbow of colored balls. It was hideous. It was not hard to find an ugly fake tree, though, because it's a freaking plastic or metal plant.

Ad failed to load

Because What's The Point When We Won't Get Our Presents Until Christmas Eve?


I am a procrastinator, who always finds myself shopping on Christmas Eve or even try to find the 24-hour pharmacy open on Christmas morning. I don't need a daily reminder that I am not done with my Christmas list.

Because Post-Holiday Clean Up Is Hard Enough

Our garbage bin will be full of ten tons of wrapping paper, excessive toy packaging, and empty wine bottles. The last thing we need is a giant dead plant to dispose of. Or worse, a giant plastic plant that we have to store someplace.

Because My Mom Is Allergic


My mother is allergic to pine trees, or so she says. Maybe, she's just incredibly smart and told us she was allergic because trees are a pain the *ss.

Ad failed to load

Because I'm Tired And Don't Wanna

I'm tired, you guys. So tired. I don't have enough energy to put on pants some days, let alone set up, decorate, care for, re-set up, and clean-up after a dead tree in my house, simply because other people expect me to have one. I choose my own traditions, preferably those involving wine, pie, and Star Wars marathons. More trees for everyone else.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

6 Early Signs You're Going To Have A Short Labor, According To Experts

As far as I'm concerned, a short labor is right up there with winning the lottery in terms of lucky life events. (And when I was actually in labor, I would absolutely have traded a bucketful of lottery winnings for a speedier birth.) While some women…
By Kelly Mullen-McWilliams

Kids Will Love These TV Shows & Movies Coming To Netflix In March

You can always count on Netflix to keep it fresh: though there are already so many movies and shows to choose from, every month there's an influx of new content to keep your entire family entertained. As February enters its final weeks, it's time to …
By Megan Walsh

Here Are 10 Ways To Boost Your Baby's Immunity To The Flu

As I'm sure you've read in the thousands upon thousands of articles written about it this winter, the flu is spreading like wildfire and it's bad. Really bad. This strand of flu is the worst we've had in a very long time and it's the most widespread,…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Khloé Kardashian Asked Twitter About Her Bump, & Moms Totally Delivered

Like her younger sister Kylie Jenner, Khloé Kardashian managed to keep most of her pregnancy a sort-of secret. But unlike Jenner, Kardashian chose to publicly announce her pregnancy several months before the baby's due date. While there's no wrong wa…
By Sophie Hirsh

21 Moms Share The Most Surprising Part About Having A C-Section

Honestly, I don't think we, as a culture, talk about C-sections nearly enough, especially considering so many mothers experience them. And because of a number of factors, the little we do talk about it always seems to be a familiar narrative: "It's n…
By Jamie Kenney

13 Yummy Instant Pot Recipes To Make Under 30 Minutes

An Instant Pot seems to be the must-have appliance in every kitchen these days. If you are anything like me and never knew the beauty of a Instant Pot, you are about to have your life changed. Basically, you put some ingredients into a pot, set the t…
By Kristin Manna

9 Things The First Six Months Of Motherhood Will Teach You About Your Baby

Personally, the first six months of motherhood was a mixed bag. I learned some harsh lessons about myself that made taking care of my baby seem overwhelming. For example, I was clueless, and no amount of research could help me feel like anything but …
By Steph Montgomery

11 Photos You *Must* Take During The Last Days Of Your Pregnancy

During my first pregnancy, I took a photo each week to document my growing belly. I stopped around 36 weeks, though. I hated how I looked in those pictures, and didn't think I'd want to relive those moments. I was wrong. My second pregnancy was a dum…
By Steph Montgomery

6 Red Flags To Definitely Look Out For After Your Baby Falls

The first time my infant son tried to take a few steps, he tumbled and bumped his head on the coffee table. My blood turned to ice in my veins and I froze. There truly isn't anything quite like the feeling a parent gets when their little one gets hur…
By Sarah Bunton

These 9 Instant Pot Recipes Will Make Even The Pickiest Eater Happy At The Table

Like any parent, I've had my share of parenting hits and misses, but one of my favorite "wins" is my daughter's diverse palate. I don't even know if I can take credit for it, but I would like to think I had something to do with her love for lentils, …
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

Turns Out, Kim Kardashian's Favorite Mom Products Look A Lot Like Your Own Faves

Being a mom is really hard work, especially for the first few months, and Kim Kardashian West is no different in that regard. Now the mother of three, Kardashian says that there are a few products she just can't live without when it comes to raising …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

10 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 30s

If you're like me, you evaluate the pros and cons of any major life decision. When my husband and I were considering starting a family, I thought about my career, education, and financial stability. I wanted to know how a pregnancy and childbirth wou…
By Steph Montgomery

Soda Might Hurt Your Fertility, Study Says, & Here's What You Can Do

Who doesn't love sugary drinks? I stopped drinking soda years ago, but I still love gulping down those fancy Starbucks coffee beverages. I don't have a big sweet tooth, but I am a sucker for sugar-sweetened beverages every now-and-then. Turns out, th…
By Annamarya Scaccia

5 Red Flags Your Toddler Isn't Eating Enough

Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters, at least in my experience. You offer mashed potatoes, they want french fries. You give them crackers, they scream for chips. It's frustrating, to be sure, but it's usually their way of vying for independence. It…
By Candace Ganger

35 Moms Share The Most Disgusting Things Their Husbands Do

I'm a human being who revels in challenges. I like when people present me with one, especially if they don't think I can meet or succeed it, and I like taking a challenge on, especially if it's unexpected. So when I aimed to uncover the most disgusti…
By Jamie Kenney

How Having Kids In Your 20s Affects You Later In Life

For parents, like myself, who had kids in their 20s, there are a number of questions that come to mind. When you're deciding what your future will look like, you'll likely consider what this means for your health, career, and more down the line. Thin…
By Tessa Shull

Study: Drinking Two Glasses Of Wine A Day Is Good For Your Mind — Here's Why

There’s more scientific proof that a daily drink or two isn't necessarily a bad thing and could have a place in an overall healthy lifestyle. A new study out of the University of Rochester Medical Center (URMC) in New York found that — in mice, at le…
By Tiffany Thomas

Research Says Eating Carbs Can Lead To A Healthy Pregnancy, So Bring On The Pasta

In the world of me, no food is better than bread. I know it's supposed to be pretty terrible for you, high in calories, low in protein, and full of that modern-day demon, gluten... but guys, it's really yummy. Especially warm out of the oven, when th…
By Jen McGuire

These Photos Of Prince George Then & Now Will Give You Serious Baby Fever

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their third child in Spring 2018. With all of the excitement surrounding the new baby, it's easy to forget all of the good times that have already passed. The couple's eldest is already well into the sc…
By Azure Hall

This Is, Hands Down, The *Grossest* Thing Babies Do Inside The Womb

Your baby's life in the womb may be safe and warm, but it's also kind of grody. Seriously, the whole process of growing into a human being includes more than a few icky moments along the way. But this is the grossest thing babies do inside the womb b…
By Lindsay E. Mack