Fotolia

19 Funny Tweets That Every Overdue Mother Understands

By
Share
Ad failed to load

Pregnancy is that wonderful time in a woman's life when she's acutely aware of how beautiful, magical and, oh yeah, uncomfortable procreation can be. I would venture to say that most women who hit full term (and then start to edge past the 40 week mark) will tell you that the joy and excitement of pregnancy quickly fade away. For some reason, those last few weeks of pregnancy seem to last longer than all the combined weeks of your entire life. Thankfully, we have Twitter to give us some funny tweets that every overdue mother understands, so we don't lose our sanity, along with our sense of personal comfort.

Both of my kids went close to a week overdue, and both times I had been absolutely positive and totally convinced that they would come early. Word to the wise here, ladies: don't ever trick yourself into thinking your kid will come early, even if you're experiencing prodromal labor. It is a gigantic waste of dashed hopes and shattered dreams, because chances are your due date will come and then it will go and you'll start convincing yourself that you'll be the first woman in scientific history to stay pregnant forever. Better to assume you'll go overdue (but still have the hospital bag ready), so you don't end up losing your mind at 40 weeks, 4 days.

Honestly though, the best way to enter into the days that drag past your due date is with a sense of humor and some serious sarcasm. Which is why, if you've already waved at your due date as it passed you by, you should check out these 19 hilarious tweets from moms who truly understand #overdueproblems:

Ad failed to load

You Find Ways To Pass The Time

It. Has. To. Be. Perfect.

You Stop Sleeping

It's seriously not fair. I mean, we're going to be either pushing or having a baby cut out of our body, soon. We need rest, body! All the rest!

You Get Annoyed When People Keep Asking If The Baby Has Arrived...

The more overdue you are, the more sarcastic you become. It's scientific fact, so just consider this a warning.

Ad failed to load

...Like, Really, Really Annoyed

These are the questions that made me lose my sh*t that last week.

You Start Retaining All The Water

It feels so sexy, doesn't it? Ugh.

You Start Using Snark Like It's Your Job

Sometimes, a word picture says it best.

Ad failed to load

You'll Do Anything To Successfully Self-Induce

I tried them all, too. I can't be sure what worked (if anything does, in fact, work).

You'll Do Whatever You Can To Stay Comfortable

At this point, no one is going to judge you.

You Start Wishing Your Mucus Plug Would Make A (Gross) Appearance

This is so perfect, so accurate, and so disgusting.

Ad failed to load

You Start Getting Pretty Damn Angry

At least all of us ladies are in this together, right?

You Hope The Baby Is Worth It

I'm guessing they did, but I feel your pain all the same, girl.

You Simply Do You

No judgement here. Whatever gets you through, right?

Ad failed to load

Everything Starts To Be A Cruel Joke

It truly is. I wish they would give a due week or a due month.

You Can't Blame The Baby For Staying Put

I mean, they don't need to be fed manually and it's all dark and comfy in there and they have a heart beat to comfort them. They won't eventually pay taxes and they won't have to bill their mother for renting out her uterus. I mean, they're living the dream, you guys.

"Being Nice" Goes Out The Window

I'm pretty sure my use of the middle finger went up exponentially as I passed my due date.

Ad failed to load

You Start To Think Pregnancy Will Never End

There is no statement more truthier than this statement.

You Wonder If You Can Give Your Baby Some Hints

Perhaps the hint was a little too subtle?

You Start Getting Desperate

Spicy foods for the win. It worked with my first. I think?

Ad failed to load

You Don't Want To Hear Anyone's Unsolicited Commentary

This isn't funny, it's just true. Shout out to the cafe that put this out there.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at Names.org recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

7 Things A Mom Really Means When She Says She Doesn't Want Anything On Mother's Day

Every year my family asks me what I want for Mother's Day, and every single year I tell them the same thing: Nothing. So, by now, they know that when I say "nothing" I absolutely do not mean "nothing." In fact, there are more than a few things a mom …
By Candace Ganger

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

8 Fascinating Facts About Babies Born In May, The Luckiest Month Of All

The height of all things fresh and springy, May is an excellent month to have a baby. It's a time of growth, graduations, and outdoor celebrations. And these fascinating facts about May babies will give you more reasons than ever to appreciate childr…
By Lindsay E. Mack

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

13 Unique (& Totally Not Mainstream) Mother's Day Gifts For The Hipster Mom

Hipsters thrive on being outside the norm and not really digging anything considered "mainstream." Whether it's in their fashion, what music they listen to, the books they read, or how they enjoy beverages, there's just something that makes them dist…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's How To Introduce Your Pet To Your Baby & Make Everything As Calm As Possible

Our home, which we lovingly refer to as “the funny farm,” is filled with four-legged family members. We have two crazy beagles and two cat jerks, and boy are they loved and spoiled. (As they should be.) But we are now finally having a baby of our own…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's The Right Birth Method For You, According To Your Zodiac Sign

If you're pregnant, you've probably given childbirth some serious thought. Some moms-to-be prepare a meticulous birth plan, while others are comfortable just going with the flow. And me? Well, I made a plan... but that plan was useless when faced wit…
By Steph Montgomery

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills
)}