Ah, the joys of parenthood. Being a mom is probably the only job that requires you to balance a toddler in one arm and simultaneously clean smeared tomato sauce off the ceiling with the other. When it comes to taking care of your kids, daily occurrences can often times feel as if they're straight out of a horror movie. Thankfully, what makes the job seem a little easier is knowing that you're never alone, and that there are other moms dealing with the same shenanigans as you. And that's especially clear when you dig through the plethora of funny parenting tweets.
Don't get me wrong. The majority of the time, most moms and dads agree that being a parent is awesome. However, right after your 1-year-old son has a meltdown because you won't let him use your iPhone as a teething toy, you begin to daydream about the days where the majority of your clothes were free of any major throw-up stains, and the nights you were able to sleep for more than 4-and-a-half hours at a time.
Parenthood is no doubt extremely difficult, but it can be refreshing to laugh at the hardships that the job entails. These tweets will remind you that you aren't the only mom undergoing the tantrums, trials, and triumphs that you're forced to deal with each and every day.
Is there any task more aggravating than explaining long division to an eight-year-old?
They're fighting over a McDonald's toy. No chance I'm intervening.
It's a daily occurrence.
My 2-year-old has kept me up for three nights. I can't even think of a more desirable vacation destination.
There's a reason you keep a bottle of white wine stocked in my fridge at all times.
Last week my kid flushed a box of crayons down the toilet. I respect your excitement 100 percent.
How am I supposed to know?!
I can confirm. This is true.
One of the up-sides to throwing your toddler a Frozen-themed birthday party: leftover birthday cake.
Glitter can often have disastrous effects.
TBH this is how "age" should normally be calculated.
Just about sums it up.
Who am I raising?!
Who even has time for romance anymore?
Any parent who can successfully coerce a child into finishing homework during vacation deserves a medal. Period.
If this is what the future holds, I'm scared.
Whatever doesn't kill you will make you wish you could stay asleep until your kid turns at least 18.
Do you have a kid? No? Then why are you speaking?
This is a difficult time, but I know she'll make it through.
Why do 6-year-olds always come up with the best ideas?
Lack of sleep will do that to you.
I don't even know what a "date" is anymore.
I know more about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles than I know about the next presidential election.
Wine Wednesday exists for a reason.
It could be glue or it could be spilt apple juice. You'll never really know.
I would watch that.
So much laundry. So little time.
Realistically most of it will end up in your 2-year-old's hair, anyway.