It's no secret that having a baby does a number on your sex life. Your body parts are all slightly askew, and it sometimes takes a while to get to know how to make things happen again. If you're a new mom, exhaustion plus issues with body image can make you apprehensive about jumping back into the sack. And, if you have tried it, and things weren't as hot and heavy as they had been just a few short months ago, you may be looking for ways to improve orgasm after having your baby.
Dr. Renee Horowitz, a practicing OB-GYN and the Director of Center for Sexual Wellness in Farmington Hills, MI, told Fox News that studies have shown an almost universal decrease in sexual desire among women after they have a baby that generally lasts six to eight weeks. Desire is directly related to reaching orgasm.
Regardless of whether they delivered vaginally or by C-section, most couples also have a decrease in the frequency of their love making for about a year after the baby is born. Horowitz suggests that the reason is hormonal, often having to do with the rising prolactin levels during breastfeeding, and the accompanying decrease in dopamine levels.
If you're a new mom hoping to improve your sex life and have better orgasms after baby, the good news is that there are a few things that can help.
1. Practice Your Kegels
The pubococcygeal muscle is a sling of striated muscles that holds the genitals in place and is the muscle that begins the orgasm in women, according to Columbia University. This is also the muscle that helps you stop peeing midstream and keeps you from leaking. When you have a baby, this muscle gets stretched out and loses elasticity. Dr. Arnold Kegel's exercises, consisting of squeezing and relaxing this muscle can help a new mom strengthen the muscle and improve her orgasms.
2. Use Lube
Some new moms experience issues with vaginal dryness that can make intercourse uncomfortable and orgasm difficult to reach. Lisa Pastore, an epidemiologist at the University of Virginia's obstetrics and gynecology department tells Psychology Today that women should use lube if they need it and never feel guilty about it.
3. Have More Foreplay
Sometimes, the best orgasms come after a lot of foreplay. Foreplay can counteract inadequate lubrication, according to Sex Info by University of California, Santa Barbara and can make you more aroused psychologically and physiologically.
4. Drop Off Baby With Grandma
According to Everyday Family, your brain depends on the amygdala, the part that controls your fear, anxiety, thoughts, and feelings, in order to have a pleasurable sexual experience. In order to focus during sex and to achieve an orgasm, your amygdala must shut off.
This is hard to do when you are tired and worried about the baby waking in the middle of your lovemaking. Letting Grandma or Auntie babysit for a few hours one day can alleviate some of that stress. It will also allow you and your partner some private time to get to know your post-baby body and your new likes and dislikes and maybe even make the quickies during baby's nap time more satisfying.
5. Be Open To Alternative Options
Sexologist Dr. Logan Levkoff told Everyday Family that many women are unable to achieve an orgasm through penetration alone. If you are open to other forms of clitoral stimulation such as oral sex and the use of toys, you can improve the probability of better orgasms after baby.