My kids go back to school in exactly 14 days, 9 hours, and 10 minutes, not that I'm counting. While I feel for them, and this strange summer that feels never-ending, I'm so ready to get back to our normal routine. Not only has my work schedule suffered, but because we've just moved out-of-state my kids are in my damn face all day long. So it's safe to say there are more than a few times when I wish my kids could just go back to school already, and I have a feeling I'm not the only mom with a back-to-school countdown. Summer is no joke, you guys.
With this huge out-of-state cross-country move, I do feel quite a bit of empathy for my children and the fact that they're dreading the start of a new school year. They won't be able to reunite with their old friends, and everything will be so new. I'm anxious just thinking about it from their perspective, so I can imagine how terrified they are right now. There comes a point during every summer break, though — whether it's in this state or the one before — where they just have to go. They just have to.
Now, before you get all "enjoy them while they're young," and "time moves so quickly," or whatever, know that I hear you. No really, I do. But day after day of having both kids in my face, making all the noises and messes while I try to hold onto whatever tiny bit of sanity I have left, there comes to a point when I just need a damn break. I don't need a vacation (though, that would be cool, too), but just a few hours each day where I can go to bathroom alone, work without so many disruptions, and don't need to shout "enough!" every three minutes. That's fair, right? With that, here's some of the times I couldn't wait for my kids to get their butts back in school:
When Your Kids Wake You Up Before The Sun Rises
My kids have always been early to bed, early to rise. It's a schedule that's always worked for us, despite their defiant eye rolls. In the summer, however, my kids wake up way before any human being should. It doesn't matter how early or late they went to bed the night before, one of my kids will wake up at 4:00 a.m. on the dot because he "couldn't wait to play with his toys."
If that's how my kids are going to start their days, I'm going to need to send them off somewhere. Like school.
When Your Kid Starts Arguing Before You've Had Your Coffee
This is my favorite because, ironically, it's the worst. Because my kids wake up so freaking early, it gives them all the juice they need to begin their arguments the moment I open my eyes. We have a silent rule around here — don't talk to mom before her coffee — but it's a rule that goes completely unnoticed because, well, kids. At least, when school starts, I'll have some argument-free time to actually wake up.
When Your Kids Say They're Bored Before Noon
No less than 75 times a day, every single day, my children will tell me they're bored by, like, 8:00 a.m. or some equally ridiculous hour. Again, I understand (and sympathize), but I have sh*t to do. If my children can't entertain themselves, it's time for school.
When Your Work Suffers
Working from home means having to sacrifice my sanity. Like, a lot. Right now, as in this very instance, my kids are running through the house, making noise just for the sake of making noise. Can I concentrate? Not really. I get my work done, but once they go back to school (not soon enough), I'll do a much better job.
When You Can't Go To The Bathroom By Yourself
OMG. Multiple times a day, every single day, all I want is a a minute or two to escape to the bathroom. That's all it would take to clear my mind, find a moment of silence, and to actually, you know, go to the bathroom.
When Your Kids Chase Each Other Around The House
I don't mind my kids getting exercise and having fun. When they chase one another around for an hour, though, I start to lose it. Unfortunately we've moved to a state that prohibits them from being out in the hot, humid air during the day, so they're stuck inside until school begins. Yay.
When Your Kids Are Doing Whatever They're Doing Right Now
No but really. Is it time yet? Can I drop them off at school this afternoon? I'm asking for a friend.