David Pereiras/Fotolia

7 Things Only The Best Mother-In-Laws Will Say When They Find Out Their Daughter-In-Law Is Pregnant

By
Share
Ad failed to load

Announcing your pregnancy is a big deal, so you deserve only the most supportive, thoughtful responses that celebrate you and this major life decision. This is especially true when it comes to the way your in-laws react to the news, because those relationships can be complex without a pregnancy thrown into the mix. In other words, there are things only the best mother-in-laws will say when they find out their daughter-in-law is pregnant, and it's worth it to make sure your mother-in-law throws a few of these celebratory sentiments your way. Because trust me when I say a supportive response will be pivotal in making sure your relationship with your in-laws is a positive one, especially after you become a mother.

The relationship I had with some of my in-laws during my first pregnancy wasn't exactly what I envisioned or hoped to experience. Because my pregnancy was unexpected, at a time my partner and I weren't totally ready for a baby, there were times when I needed to hear some loving sentiments from members of my partner's family and came up empty. I wanted to feel accepted, and ultimately, considered part of the family. I figured being pregnant with my partner's child would help them accept me fully. Yeah, I was wrong.

Years later, when I announced my pregnancy with our second baby, my in-laws' reaction to the news was more of a mixed bag. Where everyone was generally enthusiastic, I hoped for a little more pizazz after I had experienced miscarriages and waded my way through infertility issues. I was hoping for more words of comfort, and celebratory statements, but at least the overall feeling wasn't negative. So between my two experiences I've thought a lot about what a pregnant woman needs to hear from a supportive mother-in-law, and I think the following is definitely a good start:

Ad failed to load

"I'm Thrilled"

Giphy

Probably every expecting mom would love to hear a celebratory "congratulations," after she announces she's pregnant, but what would make it even better is if your mother-in-law would add just how delighted she is to welcome a grandchild into the world, too. To know that you have someone who is almost as happy about your future baby as you are is a pretty wonderful thing.

"You'll Be A Great Mom"

Giphy

I was terrified of becoming a mother because it's not something that felt inherently natural. While I've always been empathetic and compassionate towards animals, and knew I wanted children someday, when I was indeed pregnant all I could think about was my inevitable failure. My mom was supportive from the very beginning, but it'd have alleviated a lot of pre-new-mom fears if my mother-in-law had said the same.

"How Can I Help?"

Giphy

Pregnancy is extremely overwhelming at times, and especially if you already have a child, or multiple children, to care for while you're growing a human inside your body When anyone asks how they can be of service, it's music to my ears, but hearing it from the mother-in-law makes it so much sweeter.

Ad failed to load

"You've Made Our Family Better"

Giphy

From the very beginning of my marriage, I've hoped for a strong relationship with my in-laws. I want them to like — no, love — me. I want them to celebrate my successes and weep for my failures, just as they do for my partner. To hear I've made a place within the family, and that I'm loved and appreciated, would've meant the world.

"Thank You For Loving My Child"

Giphy

Yes, you're in a relationship with your partner, and not his or her family, but their family usually follows and before you know it you're facing a "package deal" type scenario. You can't love your partner without spending time with, listening to, speaking with, interacting with, and becoming invested in their family.

So it would be great if your partner's family could acknowledge that not only are you an additional family member, but you're one that's only made the extended family unit better. That you are taking care of the child they cared for (in different ways, of course) and they appreciate you giving their child a baby and making them a grandmother. After all, pregnancy is work.

"I Love You"

Giphy

Maybe I'm reaching, because my mother-in-law definitely didn't tell me she loved me after I announced my pregnancy, but I say it's worth it to set some goals.

Ad failed to load

"I'm Here For You"

Giphy

It's pretty easy to say you'll be there to support a woman going through pregnancy. But who's really there? Who shows up to prepare freezer meals, and shop for baby things, and maybe even accompany you to doctor appointments? If it's your mother-in-law, you've got it made.

The mother-in-law is likely the hardest in-law to win over, so if you don't hear any of the above, it doesn't mean something's wrong with you. It just means she's probably not ready to let her baby go. And now that you're about to embark on your own parenting journey, someday, maybe, you'll understand.

Watch Romper's new video series, Romper's Doula Diaries:

Check out the entire Romper's Doula Diaries series and other videos on Facebook and the Bustle app across Apple TV, Roku, and Amazon Fire TV.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at Names.org recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

7 Things A Mom Really Means When She Says She Doesn't Want Anything On Mother's Day

Every year my family asks me what I want for Mother's Day, and every single year I tell them the same thing: Nothing. So, by now, they know that when I say "nothing" I absolutely do not mean "nothing." In fact, there are more than a few things a mom …
By Candace Ganger

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

8 Fascinating Facts About Babies Born In May, The Luckiest Month Of All

The height of all things fresh and springy, May is an excellent month to have a baby. It's a time of growth, graduations, and outdoor celebrations. And these fascinating facts about May babies will give you more reasons than ever to appreciate childr…
By Lindsay E. Mack

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

13 Unique (& Totally Not Mainstream) Mother's Day Gifts For The Hipster Mom

Hipsters thrive on being outside the norm and not really digging anything considered "mainstream." Whether it's in their fashion, what music they listen to, the books they read, or how they enjoy beverages, there's just something that makes them dist…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's How To Introduce Your Pet To Your Baby & Make Everything As Calm As Possible

Our home, which we lovingly refer to as “the funny farm,” is filled with four-legged family members. We have two crazy beagles and two cat jerks, and boy are they loved and spoiled. (As they should be.) But we are now finally having a baby of our own…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's The Right Birth Method For You, According To Your Zodiac Sign

If you're pregnant, you've probably given childbirth some serious thought. Some moms-to-be prepare a meticulous birth plan, while others are comfortable just going with the flow. And me? Well, I made a plan... but that plan was useless when faced wit…
By Steph Montgomery

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills
)}