Even if you're feeling confident in your decision to teach your kid sex positivity, you'll have your fair share of doubts. I mean, self-doubt and parenthood seem to go hand in hand but when a predominantly patriarchal society is hell-bent on convincing you that sex positivity is wrong and dangerous and why the next generation is doomed, it's difficult to not let even the most ridiculous accusation make the smallest of dents. We all want to do right by our children and give them the best chance to live healthy, happy, productive and self-loving lives; and that pressure can turn us into our harshest critics.

Oh, judgement; the "fun" bi-product of parenting that you just can't seem to shake. Whether you're being judged for how you choose to give birth, judged for how you decide to feed your kid, or, yes, judged for how you teach your child about sex, every parenting decision you make is sure to upset someone who is convinced their way is the only way. However, it seems that the choice to teach your kids about sex positivity brings on an entirely new level of judgement, steeped in "morality" and (usually, though definitely not always) religion, that can make even the most level-headed individual passionately defiant towards your personal parenting preferences. It can be surprising, but I can also promise you: it won't be the last time someone adamantly disagrees with you or your choices.

Sadly, there are far too many people who confuse sex positivity with "oh, now I am able to ask this person completely personal questions about their sex-life because hey, they're sex positive and that's how this works, right?" Yeah, wrong. That's not how it works. Just because someone believes safe, consensual sex to be a positive, healthy and natural thing, doesn't mean people are entitled to know every single detail (or anything at all) about that person's intimate sex life. Whether or not someone wants to share something about themselves is entirely up to them and unless they broach the subject, honestly, don't ask. It's not your place.

Thanks to a patriarchal society that works tirelessly stifling sexuality (predominantly women's) while simultaneously exploiting it ad nauseam, teaching your kid to be sex positive (to some) is seen as teaching your kid to have unsafe sex at a young age with multiple people until someone becomes pregnant. (For the record, that's not what sex positivity means.) Like almost any other parenting decision you make, if someone disagrees with one choice you've carefully considered and ultimately decided on, they can (sometimes, depending on the person) feel entitled to assume that every other parenting choice you've made is fundamentally flawed to the point that CPS just might need to get involved and ugh, it's exhausting.

You just won't know it all. You can't, really, and when your kid starts asking questions that they feel completely comfortable asking you because sex isn't scary to them, you might get stumped. Thankfully, you'll probably have prepared for this moment and will know where to find the answers you can't scrape off the top of your head.

It's pretty impossible to realize how early sex-shaming starts until you see your kid internalizing their sexual feelings, questions about sex, or sexuality at a very young age. Even if you've done your damnedest and tried to explain just how normal and healthy sex is, our culture is powerful and the messages that surround our kids on the regular, are nothing short of influential.

Nothing makes you realize (or appreciate) your own sex positivity (or points out ways in which you were continuing to shame yourself and others for their sexuality) like teaching sex positivity. When you're trying to instill a set of values and explain a specific set of factual information to your kid, self-reflection is often necessary and you'll learn so much about yourself, your views on sex and how you've been taught to think about sex, when you're doing the teaching.

As a parent, we would like to think we know all the things. I mean, we're the parent. But there's nothing like an ongoing lesson on sex positivity to remind you that you don't. I mean, you don't really know anything at all. You're learning and evolving yourself, which is honestly not the worst thing to explain to your kid. Yes, you should provide them with a source of security and remain a person in their life that they can turn to for guidance, but admitting that you're not the end-all-be-all of every piece of conceivable knowledge is not only true, but a wonderful lesson for your kid to learn, too.