Most everyone enters a relationship with the best of intentions. It isn't like you start dating and make the firm decision to be a mediocre in any aspect, right? With that in mind, it's helpful to be aware of the bad habits you don't realize make it harder for your partner to orgasm.
This isn't designed to make you feel bad or shame you for, say, having a minor addiction to your phone. But it's nice to step back every now and then to get a clearer picture of your relationship and how well it's working. You're probably not actively trying to sabotage your partner's sexual enjoyment, but little habits can unintentionally kill the sexy vibe.
With that in mind, keeping an eye on how much you drink, bicker, and really communicate can have a major impact on your relationship's sexual health. This isn't to say you should forego all indulgences and force yourself to be fake nice; that isn't going to help anything. But putting the phone down now and then, and really tuning into your connection, can have major benefits for your partner's enjoyment. Who knows? Maybe cutting down on these habits will make your own sex life better than ever as well. Read on to see what may be hampering your SO's orgasm.
1. You Shutter At Sexual Communication
Even for the most open-minded, grown adults out there, discussing sex can be a tricky situation. So it's not uncommon to avoid the discussion altogether. But as noted in Healthline, discussing your sexual likes and dislikes, as well as the general ground rules for your sexual relationship, is crucial. Are you exclusive? Do you have any specific sexual needs? Knowing where you both stand can make reaching the big O much easier.
2. You Get Drunk Beforehand
If you and your SO routinely get wasted before diving between the sheets, you might be shortchanging your sex lives. As noted in Drinkaware, drinking to excess can dull the sexual response of most all people, making orgasm more difficult to achieve. This is not to say you have to be stone-cold sober to have a great sex life, because plenty of people find a glass or two of wine relaxing and romantic. But having a sober romp now and then might help refresh your sex life.
3. You Ignore Other Aspects Of The Relationship
For better or worse, your connection outside the bedroom affects your sex life, too. As noted in The Huffington Post, doing sweet things for your partner in your daily lives could very well translate into having better sex. At any rate, it's more pleasant to be in a relationship with someone who helps lift you up.
4. You Go On Assumptions
Again, this goes back to the whole communication idea. Try not to assume that what worked for your ex will also please your current partner. Everyone's sexual palate is unique.
5. You Use PDA Constantly
You and your partner may very well experience a moment of real passion in public from time to time. But there's a big difference between a spontaneous kiss here and there, or basically going at it in the middle of a restaurant. And, as explained in Greatist, engaging in constant PDA may mean you're making up for communication problems elsewhere in the relationship. Even if public display is your kink, it's kind of gross to turn random bystanders into unwilling participants. (Do I sound like an uptight scoldy-scold yet? Cool.)
6. You Make Comparisons
Along these lines, comparing your current partner to your ex, especially in the realm of the bedroom, can be dangerous territory. Your current SO will likely pick up on the fact that their performance is being evaluated, so to speak. What kills the mood faster than the feeling of being judged?
7. You Bicker
Chances are you've spent time with a couple who pick at one another constantly, and it can make for an uncomfortable situation. Additionally, this kind of endless bickering can undermine the intimacy in a relationship, as explained by Psych Central. Achieving orgasm with a loving partner can be tricky enough, let alone when you're with someone who's all too happy to point out your every fault.
8. You Have An Initiation Standoff
Does the same person initiate intimacy every time? Psychology Today noted that waiting for your partner to initiate affection might leave your SO feeling less than desired. Taking charge from time to time is a great way to keep your relationship and desirability in a more even keel.
9. You Fail To Unplug
Shut off your phone and pay attention to your partner. Shut off your computer and pay attention to your partner. Shut off your tablet and pay attention to your partner.
Sure, you're bound to be in a stressed-out mood now and then, when nothing but an hour or so of browsing online will make you happy. But it's unfair to regularly make your SO compete with the infinite distractions of the internet. Appreciate your partner for the flesh-and-blood person they are, and make time to enjoy one another's company away from any screens.