I’m currently in the throes of my second pregnancy and, I have to admit, I like how the whole thing isn't shrouded in mystery this time around. I’ve been through all three trimesters, I’ve been through labor and delivery, and I’ve experienced the life-changing, world-upside-down, overwhelming experience of bringing home a newborn. That’s not to say there aren’t a few different things about a second pregnancy that will make you miss your first, though. Because, well, there are.
Granted, that’s not to say I’d rather be back in my first pregnancy, but it did come with a few perks that the second pregnancy doesn’t (and third and fourth and all subsequent pregnancies, I’d imagine, although I don’t know for certain). If anyone is in a third or fourth or subsequent pregnancy, feel free to let me know. Although, I’ll definitely understand if you don’t, I imagine you’re pretty busy and tired and performing heroic feats of strength on a daily basis just by living your normal life.
Perhaps there are some out there who feel differently, but as someone who is not a fan of surprises, I’m much more comfortable now that I have an idea of what’s to come (although, every pregnancy is different, as doctors and internet discussion boards will surely confirm). Still, in keeping with the whole "take the good with the bad" thing, there are a few not-so-fantastics parts of this second pregnancy, that make me miss the first:
You Have Less Downtime
I once remember a weekend afternoon late in my first pregnancy, when I laid on the bed and wrote thank you cards and intermittently napped for, like, hours. I remember those evenings spent on the couch with Netflix because I could.
This pregnancy? Not so much. If I'm napping (and I have napped because, again, we're talking about pregnancy), it's because the stars have aligned and my partner is taking on extra responsibilities. This is not the same thing as leisure time.
There's Less Excitement Around You
It's understandable. Even the most exciting thing in the world, like, oh I don't know, going to Disneyland with entire cast of Parks and Rec (which yes, ended years ago, but I don't care) wouldn't be quite as exciting if you did it for 10 months straight, then did it again years later.
You Have Fewer Reasons To Shop
I'm not sure about you guys, but I'm kinda glad to have most of the baby gear basics under control this time. Sure, we'll probably update a few things and we'll probably get some new clothes because shopping for baby clothes is the best. However, in general, I don't think I'm going to mind not staring down the aisle of strollers while a feeling of panic washes over me.
You'll Probably Have Fewer Parties, With Fewer Presents
Of course, to teach her own. Your relatives and friends may be all over the idea of throwing another bash in your honor, but I'm more than halfway through my second pregnancy and we've yet to make any plans this time, and I'm totally OK with it. I swear, I am. This isn't meant to be a hint to any of my IRL friends, I promise.
You're Parenting While Enduring Pregnancy
On a related note, I'd like to offer a moment of silence for every pregnant woman who's ever simultaneously cared for a toddler while managing morning sickness. Or really, any pregnant woman who's ever cared for a toddler in general. Not all heroes wear capes.
You're Experiencing Fewer Surprises
I know some people like surprises, but I am not one of them. For example, I took a pregnancy test on the earliest possible day I could, and my partner and I eagerly discovered the sex of our baby (both times). If I could read spoilers about what my birth experience would be like, I totally would. However, I wanted to include this for the moms who like to keep a little mystery in their lives.
You're Probably Not Reading And Learning As Much
Shout-out to all of us who have an inner Hermione Granger. During that first pregnancy, I was reading books and devouring all the information I could. This time? Um, I wish I had time for that. If I've only got a few spare minutes during the day, I'm probably going to spend it eating frosting straight out of the can because that's what this pregnancy is requiring.
You Aren't Updating Your Own Wardrobe As Much
It's not like I was excited to pull those boxes of maternity clothes out of the garage (or rather, for my spouse to pull them out of the garage because they are heavy and perhaps I've mentioned that I'm pregnant?), but it was nice to have that whole maternity wardrobe thing under control this time. Although, I can admit I'd probably enjoy updating it a little bit, it's just not the priority now.
You Have Less Time With Your Partner
I look back on time with my partner during that first pregnancy almost like it was one long, continuous date night. I mean, we had alone time together every day. Date nights every weekend. What would that feel like now? What adult conversations would we have? What kind of real clothes would I wear? Would we eat out together and come home without ketchup smudges on our sleeves (thanks, son)? I honestly don't know, it's a great mystery of the world.