9 Things You'll Want To Say To Your Co-Parent's New Partner, But Shouldn't

Ad failed to load

A little over a year ago, my ex-husband let me know he was seeing someone new. I didn't really know what to say at the time. I mean, it's really none of my business and, for the most part, I want to stay on good terms with anyone who would play a role in my kids' lives. Now that I have seen the impression she's had on them, I can safely say that it's normal to have more than a few things you'll want to say to your co-parent's new partner, but shouldn't. At least, I hope it's "normal."

For one, I'd really like to tell her all about how horrible and abusive my ex-husband, and her current partner, was during our marriage. Mostly just to warn her, hoping that he treats better and, if not, that she dumps his *ss. I won't, of course, because I know she's probably heard an entirely different version of the story and, in the end, I don't want to create drama. While I will always be friendly, because I want her to be kind to my kids, I know don't have to be friends with her, either. It's just that, of course, I wouldn't tell her that. I mean, there's no reason to, and it's rude.

My kids don't have to like her either, by the way. I expect them to be polite and respectful, of course, but they don't have to like her or be her "friend." In a way, I feel bad for her. Being a caregiver is hard AF, and it's even harder when you haven't known the kids for very long. I get it, because I'm a stepmom, too. Still, she's not their mother or their stepmom (at least, not right now), so I absolutely do not want her to make future promises or ask that my children call her mom. It's inappropriate and even a little creepy. But, again, I will never say those things to her, no matter how much I want to. their mother or their stepmom, so please don't make promises or ask them to call you mom, because that's super inappropriate and even a little creepy. As a co-parent you pick and choose your battles and, thankfully, I'm not petty enough to say the following things:

Ad failed to load

"Your Partner Is A Jerk"


Seriously. He's a creep, and I am so glad I am no longer with him. I hope you find happiness together, of course, and who knows; maybe being with you will make him a better dad. One can only hope.

"You're Not My Kids' Mother"

I want you to treat my kids well, I really do, but please remember that you aren't their mother. That means you shouldn't ask them to call you mom or pretend that you are.

"You're Not The Best Co-Parent"


Even though my kids don't see you very often, every time they do you freaking buy them a toy. When you do this, you aren't buying their love as I can only assume you're trying to. Instead, you're teaching them some horrible values about material possessions. You definitely aren't doing anyone any favors when you let them stay up late, buy them a kitten, or let them see scary movies. Seriously.

Ad failed to load

"My Kids Don't Have To Like You"

They don't have to like you. Also, it seriously makes them uncomfortable when you say things like, "I love you." They honestly have no idea how to respond, so they say, "I love you" back, because they think it will make you happy. Just don't.

"Your Partner Is A Cheater"


I'd tell her that he cheated, but she already knows. Did I mention that he cheated on me with her, while we were still married? Oh yeah that happened. So, as you can imagine, I really hated her for a long time. Now, though, I sort of get some pleasure from the idea that they ended up together; like no one else would date him so he went back to an old flame. I would never say this out loud, of course, because I am not petty like that.

"I'm Not Your Friend"


I will always be polite, especially in front of my kids, but I am not going to make idle conversation with you or tell you anything about my life. Nope. I'm not your friend.

Ad failed to load

"I Don't Envy You"

I really don't envy you. Not only are you dating my ex, who is a pretty terrible human in my opinion, but helping to care for other people's kids is hard. Seriously, I know because I've been there. It can really suck sometimes.

"You're Welcome"


By the way, if you are wondering where my ex learned to cook, do laundry, load the dishwasher, and anything else even remotely related to adulthood: it was me. He was an absolute mess when we met, so if he does anything helpful around the house now, please know that he learned from me. You're welcome.

"Please Treat My Kids Well"

Above all else, please treat my kids well. I may get annoyed with you for spoiling them and for pretending you are their mom. I don't like you at all, and I'm fairly sure you don't like me either, but please don't take it out on them. They are great kids, and if you are going to be in their lives, even if it's just for a while, please be kind. They deserve it.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

6 Early Signs You're Going To Have A Short Labor, According To Experts

As far as I'm concerned, a short labor is right up there with winning the lottery in terms of lucky life events. (And when I was actually in labor, I would absolutely have traded a bucketful of lottery winnings for a speedier birth.) While some women…
By Kelly Mullen-McWilliams

Kids Will Love These TV Shows & Movies Coming To Netflix In March

You can always count on Netflix to keep it fresh: though there are already so many movies and shows to choose from, every month there's an influx of new content to keep your entire family entertained. As February enters its final weeks, it's time to …
By Megan Walsh

Here Are 10 Ways To Boost Your Baby's Immunity To The Flu

As I'm sure you've read in the thousands upon thousands of articles written about it this winter, the flu is spreading like wildfire and it's bad. Really bad. This strand of flu is the worst we've had in a very long time and it's the most widespread,…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Khloé Kardashian Asked Twitter About Her Bump, & Moms Totally Delivered

Like her younger sister Kylie Jenner, Khloé Kardashian managed to keep most of her pregnancy a sort-of secret. But unlike Jenner, Kardashian chose to publicly announce her pregnancy several months before the baby's due date. While there's no wrong wa…
By Sophie Hirsh

21 Moms Share The Most Surprising Part About Having A C-Section

Honestly, I don't think we, as a culture, talk about C-sections nearly enough, especially considering so many mothers experience them. And because of a number of factors, the little we do talk about it always seems to be a familiar narrative: "It's n…
By Jamie Kenney

13 Yummy Instant Pot Recipes To Make Under 30 Minutes

An Instant Pot seems to be the must-have appliance in every kitchen these days. If you are anything like me and never knew the beauty of a Instant Pot, you are about to have your life changed. Basically, you put some ingredients into a pot, set the t…
By Kristin Manna

9 Things The First Six Months Of Motherhood Will Teach You About Your Baby

Personally, the first six months of motherhood was a mixed bag. I learned some harsh lessons about myself that made taking care of my baby seem overwhelming. For example, I was clueless, and no amount of research could help me feel like anything but …
By Steph Montgomery

11 Photos You *Must* Take During The Last Days Of Your Pregnancy

During my first pregnancy, I took a photo each week to document my growing belly. I stopped around 36 weeks, though. I hated how I looked in those pictures, and didn't think I'd want to relive those moments. I was wrong. My second pregnancy was a dum…
By Steph Montgomery

6 Red Flags To Definitely Look Out For After Your Baby Falls

The first time my infant son tried to take a few steps, he tumbled and bumped his head on the coffee table. My blood turned to ice in my veins and I froze. There truly isn't anything quite like the feeling a parent gets when their little one gets hur…
By Sarah Bunton

These 9 Instant Pot Recipes Will Make Even The Pickiest Eater Happy At The Table

Like any parent, I've had my share of parenting hits and misses, but one of my favorite "wins" is my daughter's diverse palate. I don't even know if I can take credit for it, but I would like to think I had something to do with her love for lentils, …
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

Turns Out, Kim Kardashian's Favorite Mom Products Look A Lot Like Your Own Faves

Being a mom is really hard work, especially for the first few months, and Kim Kardashian West is no different in that regard. Now the mother of three, Kardashian says that there are a few products she just can't live without when it comes to raising …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

10 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 30s

If you're like me, you evaluate the pros and cons of any major life decision. When my husband and I were considering starting a family, I thought about my career, education, and financial stability. I wanted to know how a pregnancy and childbirth wou…
By Steph Montgomery

Soda Might Hurt Your Fertility, Study Says, & Here's What You Can Do

Who doesn't love sugary drinks? I stopped drinking soda years ago, but I still love gulping down those fancy Starbucks coffee beverages. I don't have a big sweet tooth, but I am a sucker for sugar-sweetened beverages every now-and-then. Turns out, th…
By Annamarya Scaccia

5 Red Flags Your Toddler Isn't Eating Enough

Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters, at least in my experience. You offer mashed potatoes, they want french fries. You give them crackers, they scream for chips. It's frustrating, to be sure, but it's usually their way of vying for independence. It…
By Candace Ganger

35 Moms Share The Most Disgusting Things Their Husbands Do

I'm a human being who revels in challenges. I like when people present me with one, especially if they don't think I can meet or succeed it, and I like taking a challenge on, especially if it's unexpected. So when I aimed to uncover the most disgusti…
By Jamie Kenney

How Having Kids In Your 20s Affects You Later In Life

For parents, like myself, who had kids in their 20s, there are a number of questions that come to mind. When you're deciding what your future will look like, you'll likely consider what this means for your health, career, and more down the line. Thin…
By Tessa Shull

Study: Drinking Two Glasses Of Wine A Day Is Good For Your Mind — Here's Why

There’s more scientific proof that a daily drink or two isn't necessarily a bad thing and could have a place in an overall healthy lifestyle. A new study out of the University of Rochester Medical Center (URMC) in New York found that — in mice, at le…
By Tiffany Thomas

Research Says Eating Carbs Can Lead To A Healthy Pregnancy, So Bring On The Pasta

In the world of me, no food is better than bread. I know it's supposed to be pretty terrible for you, high in calories, low in protein, and full of that modern-day demon, gluten... but guys, it's really yummy. Especially warm out of the oven, when th…
By Jen McGuire

These Photos Of Prince George Then & Now Will Give You Serious Baby Fever

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their third child in Spring 2018. With all of the excitement surrounding the new baby, it's easy to forget all of the good times that have already passed. The couple's eldest is already well into the sc…
By Azure Hall

This Is, Hands Down, The *Grossest* Thing Babies Do Inside The Womb

Your baby's life in the womb may be safe and warm, but it's also kind of grody. Seriously, the whole process of growing into a human being includes more than a few icky moments along the way. But this is the grossest thing babies do inside the womb b…
By Lindsay E. Mack