Rob Marmion/Shutterstock

9 Ways To Stop Mom-Shaming Once And For All

By
Share
Ad failed to load

There's an ambiguous enemy lurking in the back of our minds, on our social media feeds, and through our conversations with our best friends. It manifests itself in different ways for different women, and to some, it's a debilitating enemy; affecting their very ability to be a good parent. Mom shaming; it's alive and real, despite any dictionary definition to put a label on the trend. Thankfully there are ways to stop mom-shaming once and for all — and it can start today with you.

With the prevalence of social media, it's all too easy to share your (sometimes harmful) opinions with the click of a button, without any regard to the way it might affect someone else. But since there's a pretty good chance that every mom has been shamed in some way or another, it's more than beneficial to think before you post, speak, or share.

From postpartum depression, to negative body image, to suicidal thoughts, to questioning our ability to be good moms, mom shaming can do nothing but wreak havoc on our fellow mothers.

Ad failed to load

So instead of judging each other for their different choices, sharing those harmful articles, or gossiping about another mom behind her back, why not implement some of these changes and one by one make the world a safer place to be a mom.

Ad failed to load

1Have Friends Who Parent Differently Than You Do

giphy

Just like having friends of various ages and walks of life is helpful for everyone, meeting (and getting to know) parents who might do things differently than you can do nothing but give you a wider perspective. According to a piece from Psychologies, people often feel pressured to make friends of the same age group and beliefs , but this can cause you to miss out on other perspectives and valuable lessons.

2Spread Positivity Online (And IRL Too)

giphy

There's no shortage of mom-shaming articles splattered across social media. The next time you share an article (or have a real life conversation) think about the feelings of another mom it may negatively impact. Our goal should never be to tear each other down.

3Help The Stressed Out Mom, Instead Of Judging Her For Yelling At Her Kids

giphy

You've been there, so why judge the mom whose toddler is melting down in the grocery store? Instead, offer her an understanding smile, or offer to help her in the check out line. A little bit of camaraderie can go a long way.

Ad failed to load

4Give Yourself Grace On Your Bad Days

giphy

Mom-shaming doesn't just apply to other moms — women are just as guilty of shaming ourselves. Remember that you're allowed to have bad days. You're going to loose your temper sometimes. You won't always win at the mom game. But there's always tomorrow, and you can always get better.

5Realize That Not Every Mom Wants To Breastfeed

giphy

One article from ABC quoted a study that surveyed the reactions of breastfeeding moms to formula feeding and vise versa. Unfortunately, many of the mothers answered that they were "supportive" of either method, but if it didn't align with the way they fed their baby their support seemed to be surface level at best, some even went so far as to call moms who use formula "selfish and lazy".

Imagine with me for a second if moms just stopped judging each other for the ways they choose to feed their kids? You don't know the circumstances, needs, and situation that led each mother to make the best decision she could for her kids.

6Don't Compare Postpartum Bodies — Ever

giphy

One study conducted among British women determined that women's self-esteem has a direct relationship with their likelihood of developing postpartum depression. Women are bombarded everyday with articles on how to get your pre-baby body back, and how to not let breastfeeding ruin your boobs — all pieces that put your worth in how quickly your body "bounce back" after giving birth to a human life.

Instead, build your fellow mom up? If your body changed more than one of your mommy friends, celebrate both of your bodies for the miracles they created, instead of comparing yours to someone else's.

Ad failed to load

7Realize That Some Moms Want To Stay Home

giphy

According to the Pew Research Center, the percentage of moms who choose to stay at home with their children has been on the rise, since the "modern day low" of a mere 23 percent in 1999. The freedoms that women have don't require that they have a job outside of the home if they don't want to (motherhood in itself is enough of a full time job, for goodness sake).

8And Others Want To Work Outside The Home

giphy

On the other hand, to some moms, the thought of not working an outside job drives them crazy. Women shouldn't have to give up their career aspirations for the sake of motherhood, and luckily, in today's world, they don't have to.

9Don't Be Passive Agressive

giphy

One of the most harmful things women can do to each other is fake their support. Whether the interaction is online, with a friend over coffee, or something else, being genuine, even when you don't agree, is better than being fake.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

15 Baby Names With Unique Nicknames, So Your Family Has Options

I love a good diminutive name, also known as a nickname. I believe I’m partial to them because of my own name, Abigale, but I go by Abi. And since they’re both uniquely spelled, everyone thinks my name is pronounced Ah-bee for some reason — but even …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

The Entire Family Can Enjoy These Movies & Shows Coming To Netflix In June

It's just one of those sad facts of life: every month, shows and movies vanish from Netflix, their varied excitements no longer at your fingertips. But luckily the streaming service is always prepared to fill that content void with lots of new things…
By Megan Walsh

The Reason Why Babies Smile At You Will Seriously Make You Smile

Whether you're currently the recipient of your own baby's sweet smiles or you just seem to be a magnet for baby grins in general, you might find yourself wondering why babies are always smiling at you. Sure, you could be a 'smile whisperer' but scien…
By Kate Miller

8 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say That, Yes, You Are Their Favorite

For a baby to show a preference for a specific person is not only normal, but an essential part of their development. Babies need to form strong attachments to their caregivers for their emotional, social, and physical wellbeing. Usually, but not alw…
By Kimmie Fink

10 Reasons Why I Won't Apologize For Giving My Toddler A Pacifier

My first child had no interest in a pacifier. I tried a couple times to get him to take one, but he always spat them out and gave me an incredulous, judgmental look. But my second? It was love at first suckle. And after a while, the incredulous, judg…
By Jamie Kenney

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at Names.org recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills
)}