Courtesy of Megan Zander

Actually, I Didn't Wait Six Weeks To Have Sex After Giving Birth

By
Share
Ad failed to load

All my life, I've been a follow-the-rules type of girl. I've never smoked, cigarettes or otherwise, I've never had a traffic ticket, and I always wait an hour after eating before hopping into the pool. When I got pregnant with twins, I continued to channel my inner Hermione and do what I was supposed to. I limited my caffeine intake, avoided raw cheese entirely, and stayed away from my beloved eel rolls. I did everything a good pregnant woman should do, well, almost. Because when my OB told me I had to wait six weeks after having the babies before having sex, it turned out my libido couldn't wait that long.

Thanks to a scare with premature labor at 27 weeks pregnant, I spent the last two months of my pregnancy on strict bed rest. Sex was officially off the menu and although I missed it like Justin misses Selena, I wasn't going to do anything to risk the health of my children. But I was very, very eager to resume my regularly scheduled sex life once my boys were born. I knew that being told to wait six weeks after having a baby before resuming sexual activity was pretty standard, and I honestly thought I'd need that long to feel physically ready to enjoy sex again. In fact, before giving birth, I wasn't convinced six weeks was going to be enough time for my vagina to recover. After all, I was going to be pushing out two babies, so shouldn't I get double the time to let it heal before putting a hot dog back in my bun? Twelve weeks sounded about right.

Courtesy of Megan Zander
Ad failed to load
Seeing my partner interact with our sons made him super sexy to me. My eyes saw a man cradling a tiny newborn and singing "Twinkle, Twinkle," but my brain was blaring Beyonce's "Drunk In Love." I didn't want to wait any longer to have sex.

But as it turns out, I didn't have a vaginal delivery. Although I gave it my best effort, after three grueling hours of pushing, Baby A's head wasn't able to push past my oddly shaped pelvic bone. His heart rate started to become erratic, so my OB made the call, and I was totally on board with having a c-section. The first few days after my boys were born were a chaotic mess of breast pumps, NICU visits, and trying to poop without popping a stitch. In those first few days, sex was the furthest thing from my mind. But then things changed — fast.

My husband and I found out that our boys were going to stay in the NICU for a few weeks in order to gain some weight, and I was lucky enough to feel really great after my c-section. I was a little sore, but otherwise felt like my pre-baby self, especially below the belt. We were new parents in a completely unique position: We had brand-new babies, yes, but we also had nothing preventing us from getting a full night's sleep. Plus, seeing my partner interact with our sons made him super sexy to me. My eyes saw a man cradling a tiny newborn and singing "Twinkle, Twinkle," but my brain was blaring Beyonce's "Drunk In Love." I didn't want to wait any longer to have sex.

Ad failed to load
It seemed pointless to not have sex for the sake of my well-being when I very much wanted to have sex. I wasn't in pain and it had been so long since we'd had sex that it was hard to care about the slim possibility that I could get an infection as a reason not sleep together. We started out just engaging in foreplay and non-penetrative sex, which was awesome, but you know the saying that forbidden fruit tastes sweeter? Yeah, well, turns out that's true.

Two weeks after my delivery, I went to see my OB for a post-op checkup. As he checked my incision site, I asked him how long it would be before I could work out (12 weeks) and how long before I could have sex. Since I hadn't delivered vaginally, I assumed he was going to tell me the bedroom games were OK as soon as I felt ready for them. But I was shocked when he told me I still had to wait six weeks before having sex, just as long as I would've had I had a vaginal delivery. When I asked why, he explained that it was because I had pushed for three hours and there could be small cuts at risk for infection. Six weeks would also give me time to stop bleeding completely and would make sure my cervix was completely closed. I wanted to push the issue, but since he was looking at me like I was demented for wanting to have sex so soon, I let it go. I left the appointment frustrated and went home to deliver the bad news to my partner.

Courtesy of Megan Zander
Ad failed to load

We tried to keep our hands to ourselves, but it seemed pointless to not have sex for the sake of my well-being when I very much wanted to have sex. I wasn't in pain and it had been so long since we'd had sex that it was hard to care about the slim possibility that I could get an infection as a reason not sleep together. We started out just engaging in foreplay and non-penetrative sex, which was awesome, but you know the saying that forbidden fruit tastes sweeter? Yeah, well, turns out that's true. Soon enough, my husband and I were just flat-out going at it. In the end, we lasted about four-and-half weeks postpartum before doing the actual deed.

After going so long without it, the sex was amazing, like the honeymoon scenes from Breaking Dawn good. But when I went back to my OB for my six-week checkup to get the official all clear to head back into the bedroom, I was terrified. Admittedly, I've never seen the inside of my own vagina, so I'm not sure if there's graffiti on my vaginal wall that says, "PENIS WUZ HERE!" or something, but I was positive that my OB would know just by looking that I'd gone against his orders. Plus, what if I had gotten an infection? I was a brand-new mom with two tiny babies to take care of. Was a handful of orgasms really worth not waiting another week-and-a-half?

Courtesy of Megan Zander
Ad failed to load

I don't know what he thought while he was exploring down there, but he clearly had no clue what I was up to between the sheets. "OK, everything looks great," he said. "You're completely healed and if you're up for it, healthy for sex."

Little did he know, I already was.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

8 Things That *Will* Go Wrong Every Time You Plan A Kid-Free Night

The last time my husband and I went out to dinner alone was… actually, I can’t remember. But I can count on one hand how many times I’ve seen a movie in a theater in the last year. Before we had children we used to go out all the time. But even with …
By Liza Wyles

These Photos Of North West Then & Now Will Take You On A Sweet Trip Down Memory Lane

When Kim Kardashian welcomed her first daughter, North West, with her husband, Kanye West, in 2013, her whole life was changed. The social media and reality TV star became a mom for the first time and her Instagram presence took a very adorable turn.…
By Casey Suglia

11 Photos You *Must* Take During The Last Days Of Your Pregnancy

During my first pregnancy, I took a photo each week to document my growing belly. I stopped around 36 weeks, though. I hated how I looked in those pictures, and didn't think I'd want to relive those moments. I was wrong. My second pregnancy was a dum…
By Steph Montgomery

This Is What It Means If Your Pregnancy Test Changes Overnight

The time between when a woman suspects she might be pregnant and when it is confirmed for sure is the longest of her life. Regardless of whether you are hoping for a positive or a negative result, the odds are good that you are sweating bullets when …
By Shannon Evans

6 Red Flags To Definitely Look Out For After Your Baby Falls

The first time my infant son tried to take a few steps, he tumbled and bumped his head on the coffee table. My blood turned to ice in my veins and I froze. There truly isn't anything quite like the feeling a parent gets when their little one gets hur…
By Sarah Bunton

These 9 Instant Pot Recipes Will Make Even The Pickiest Eater Happy At The Table

Like any parent, I've had my share of parenting hits and misses, but one of my favorite "wins" is my daughter's diverse palate. I don't even know if I can take credit for it, but I would like to think I had something to do with her love for lentils, …
By Caroline Shannon-Karasik

Turns Out, Kim Kardashian's Favorite Mom Products Look A Lot Like Your Own Faves

Being a mom is really hard work, especially for the first few months, and Kim Kardashian West is no different in that regard. Now the mother of three, Kardashian says that there are a few products she just can't live without when it comes to raising …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Soda Might Hurt Your Fertility, Study Says, & Here's What You Can Do

Who doesn't love sugary drinks? I stopped drinking soda years ago, but I still love gulping down those fancy Starbucks coffee beverages. I don't have a big sweet tooth, but I am a sucker for sugar-sweetened beverages every now-and-then. Turns out, th…
By Annamarya Scaccia

10 Things No One Tells You About Having A Baby In Your 30s

If you're like me, you evaluate the pros and cons of any major life decision. When my husband and I were considering starting a family, I thought about my career, education, and financial stability. I wanted to know how a pregnancy and childbirth wou…
By Steph Montgomery

This Woman Thought She Had An Eyelash Stuck In Her Eye. Then It Moved.

I'm not a person who is easily icked out. As a kid, I collected bugs and thought I was going to be an entomologist and asked Santa Claus for ant farms and nets to catch bees. I'm still super curious about anything that flies and crawls, which might s…
By Karen Fratti

5 Red Flags Your Toddler Isn't Eating Enough

Toddlers are notoriously picky eaters, at least in my experience. You offer mashed potatoes, they want french fries. You give them crackers, they scream for chips. It's frustrating, to be sure, but it's usually their way of vying for independence. It…
By Candace Ganger

11 Ways Your Pregnancy Will Be Different If You Have A Boy Vs A Girl

If you've been pregnant before, you might start comparing your previous pregnancies to that of your current pregnancy. A lot of things can change from pregnancy to pregnancy, based on a whole host of different factors (including how well you remember…
By Lauren Schumacker

35 Moms Share The Most Disgusting Things Their Husbands Do

I'm a human being who revels in challenges. I like when people present me with one, especially if they don't think I can meet or succeed it, and I like taking a challenge on, especially if it's unexpected. So when I aimed to uncover the most disgusti…
By Jamie Kenney

How Having Kids In Your 20s Affects You Later In Life

For parents, like myself, who had kids in their 20s, there are a number of questions that come to mind. When you're deciding what your future will look like, you'll likely consider what this means for your health, career, and more down the line. Thin…
By Tessa Shull

12 Moms Share How They Stay Healthy During Flu Season

Unfortunately, we're in the middle of the roughest flu seasons in recent memory. And we’re not totally out of the woods, either. People around the country are still getting the flu, and, sadly, some of them are having to be hospitalized due to flu-re…
By Priscilla Blossom

8 "Mistakes" I'm Glad I Made During My First Pregnancy

As an adult, I've learned you never really stop hating being told what to do. When I was pregnant I was getting instructions at every turn, from doctors, relatives, and complete strangers on the subway. I would nod and smile but then go about making …
By Liza Wyles

Study: Drinking Two Glasses Of Wine A Day Is Good For Your Mind — Here's Why

There’s more scientific proof that a daily drink or two isn't necessarily a bad thing and could have a place in an overall healthy lifestyle. A new study out of the University of Rochester Medical Center (URMC) in New York found that — in mice, at le…
By Tiffany Thomas

Research Says Eating Carbs Can Lead To A Healthy Pregnancy, So Bring On The Pasta

In the world of me, no food is better than bread. I know it's supposed to be pretty terrible for you, high in calories, low in protein, and full of that modern-day demon, gluten... but guys, it's really yummy. Especially warm out of the oven, when th…
By Jen McGuire

These Photos Of Prince George Then & Now Will Give You Serious Baby Fever

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge are expecting their third child in Spring 2018. With all of the excitement surrounding the new baby, it's easy to forget all of the good times that have already passed. The couple's eldest is already well into the sc…
By Azure Hall

This Is, Hands Down, The *Grossest* Thing Babies Do Inside The Womb

Your baby's life in the womb may be safe and warm, but it's also kind of grody. Seriously, the whole process of growing into a human being includes more than a few icky moments along the way. But this is the grossest thing babies do inside the womb b…
By Lindsay E. Mack