Courtesy of Angie Grace

Dear Pregnant Women Farting In Target: I See (& Smell) You

Ad failed to load

Before I got pregnant, I never had a gas problem — and by "problem," I mean I never worried about whether I would fart in public. But during my first pregnancy, I quickly learned that you have absolutely no control over how much you're going to fart, when you're going to fart, or where you're going to fart. Simply put, for some women, pregnancy is just one long fart-fest. And honestly, this is not something anyone ever told me about prior to my first pregnancy.

I have 4 kids, and during each of my pregnancies, I had the worst gas of my life. The first time, my diet was probably mostly to blame: I was eating sausage pizza, french fries, and fried chicken, and I ended up gaining 68 pounds. When I was pregnant with twins, however, I barely ate anything, because I couldn't keep anything down. I had to be on two different medications to keep from throwing up 3-4 times a day. Once my morning sickness went away in my 30th week, I was able to eat a little, but that caused horrific heartburn, as I had two babies pushing up on my stomach.

Last year, I got pregnant with my youngest, Kai. I was a vegan before and during that pregnancy, so I lived on stir-fried vegetables, meat substitutes, and lots of different kinds of fruit. But regardless of what I ate, I still passed gas way more often than I did before I got pregnant.

Ad failed to load
Courtesy of Angie Grace

There's a good reason why pregnant women have so much gas. When you're pregnant, your body is producing a ton of progesterone, a hormone that slows your digestive system and causes gas to build up. To make matters worse, pregnancy hormones also relax your muscles, making it a lot harder to actually hold in your farts. So for many women, pregnancy can mean 9 months of uncontrollable farting.

With my latest pregnancy, I thought it would be different. I'd become a vegan, so I didn't fart as much as I usually did. It actually became something of a point of pride for me. I'd constantly lecture my husband on his "fartiquette", or fart etiquette, which are as follows: if you're close to someone and you need to fart, move away from them. Don't fart near a fan. If you're having severe stomach issues, just leave the room to fart. Simple enough, right?

Ad failed to load
"People are acting like they've never heard a pregnant lady fart in a Target before," I said out loud.

While I was pregnant with Kai, all of my fartiquette went out the window. One time, when I was 6 months pregnant, we made a stop at Target. We decided to stop by the baby aisle, and I started complaining to my husband that I had really bad gas. I couldn't help it, and I let one rip. An older woman looked at me like I'd just pooped on the floor, but I didn't care. "People are acting like they've never heard a pregnant lady fart in a Target before," I said out loud.

I couldn't help how much I was farting. I brought it up to my doctor and she suggested taking antacids, but once the heartburn kicked in towards the end of my second trimester, I had to ask for something stronger. The only thing that helped was Zantac, which is an over-the-counter antacid. I still had some heartburn and discomfort, but the uncontrollable farting lessened somewhat.

Ad failed to load
Courtesy of Angie Grace

Right after I gave birth to Kai, the doctors encouraged me to pass gas. I had a c-section and the doctor told me that I couldn't eat solid foods until I was passing gas and had a bowel movement. This time, passing gas hurt a lot. Even though I was on painkillers, the first fart was very painful. Once I got home from the hospital, every single time I farted, it hurt. After a few days, the pain started to subside, but the gas didn't go away. Actually, I was passing gas like I was still pregnant. Six months later, I still pass a decent amount of gas, but now it's easier for me to follow my own rules of fartiquette.

If you let a big one rip in the middle of a Target, just laugh it off. You're not the first pregnant woman to fart while shopping, and you certainly won't be the last.
Ad failed to load

According to my doctor, this is a thing that happens to a lot of women, but no one told me about this before I got pregnant. It wasn't until I brought it up to my other mom friends that I realized how common it was. So if you're expecting and you let a big one rip in the middle of a Target, just laugh it off. You're not the first pregnant woman to fart while shopping, and you certainly won't be the last.

Ad failed to load
Must Reads

10 Reasons Why I Won't Apologize For Giving My Toddler A Pacifier

My first child had no interest in a pacifier. I tried a couple times to get him to take one, but he always spat them out and gave me an incredulous, judgmental look. But my second? It was love at first suckle. And after a while, the incredulous, judg…
By Jamie Kenney

Being A Dog Parent Prepared Me For Having A Baby, Really

I’ve always wanted kids; I was never as sure about raising a puppy. Then I spent six months living with someone who brought home an eight-week-old golden retriever puppy, and I see no way to make it out of that experience claiming not to love dogs. I…
By Heather Caplan

20 Of The Most Popular Unisex Names Of All Time, That You'll Be Hearing More Of For Sure

You might think of unisex names as a fairly recent trend, but the truth is these versatile monikers have been commonly used throughout history (well, some more commonly than others). That's why the team over at recently compiled a list of t…
By Jacqueline Burt Cote

How To Have A Date Night With No Babysitter, Because It's Easier Than You Think

After having children, many couples feel that their love lives immediately go out the window, but it's so important to make your romantic life a priority so both you and your partner can be the best versions of yourselves you can be. As we all know, …
By Abi Berwager Schreier

9 Ways Baby No. 3 Made My Family Feel Complete

My husband and I decided to have another baby right after we got married and, well, we had no idea what we were getting into. I got pregnant right away, endured a high-risk pregnancy, and, before I knew it, my third baby had arrived. Together, we emb…
By Steph Montgomery

8 Stereotypes About New Dads That Are *Totally* True

Much like new mothers, new fathers have a lot on their plate. Parenting can be scary and complex, especially at first and regardless of your gender. People want to do right by their kids, after all. And since all new parents are a hot mess, dads are …
By Priscilla Blossom

8 Differences Between Being Pregnant In Your 20s Vs 30s, According To Science

Whether you're planning a pregnancy, or just thinking about your future family, it's typical to think about things like child-spacing, how many kids you want, and when to start trying to conceive. When making your pro/con list, you might also conside…
By Steph Montgomery

16 Moms Share Remedies For Their Most Intense Chocolate Cravings During Pregnancy

For better or worse, pregnancy is usually synonymous with odd cravings. Sure, there are the stereotypical combos like pickles and ice cream that plague gestating women the world over, but there are other mind-boggling combinations, too, including but…
By Candace Ganger

Putting Sunscreen On Your Kid Doesn't Have To Be A Fight — Here's How To Do It

I am almost translucent, so me and sunscreen are basically besties at this point. Even though my children are beautifully deep brown thanks to my husband's genetics, I still slather them like biscuits being buttered because I refuse to take risks wit…
By Cat Bowen

7 Things A Mom Really Means When She Says She Doesn't Want Anything On Mother's Day

Every year my family asks me what I want for Mother's Day, and every single year I tell them the same thing: Nothing. So, by now, they know that when I say "nothing" I absolutely do not mean "nothing." In fact, there are more than a few things a mom …
By Candace Ganger

19 Moms Share The Way They Cured Their Pregnancy Comfort Food Cravings

I was obnoxiously sick during the first trimester with, "lucky" for me, both of my pregnancies. For the first three months I lived on saltines, lemonade, and fresh bread. Once I was able to eat, however, all I wanted was savory and sweet comfort food…
By Dina Leygerman

8 Fascinating Facts About Babies Born In May, The Luckiest Month Of All

The height of all things fresh and springy, May is an excellent month to have a baby. It's a time of growth, graduations, and outdoor celebrations. And these fascinating facts about May babies will give you more reasons than ever to appreciate childr…
By Lindsay E. Mack

I Used To Judge Formula-Feeding Moms — Until I Became One

The other patrons in the hip Brooklyn restaurant probably couldn’t care less what I was feeding my baby, but I’ll always remember the shame I felt as I quickly mixed up his bottle of formula in front of them. I admitted to my childless friend that I …
By Katherine Martinelli

7 White Lies It’s Necessary To Tell To Keep Your Relationship Healthy

Telling lots of lies typically isn't associated with a healthy, strong, lasting relationship, and that's still certainly true, but not all lies are exactly the same. Though you've probably heard from someone at least once or twice that the lie they t…
By Lauren Schumacker

The Skinny Jeans That Saved Me Postpartum

Accepting my post-pregnancy body is hands-down one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. It’s something that I still work on every single day. During my first pregnancy, I was 20 years old, so I managed to bounce back quickly. In fact, I dropp…
By Allison Cooper

7 Ways Your Baby Is Trying To Say They Feel Safe

In those first weeks of new motherhood, it can feel like you need an interpreter for your newborn. With their limited means of communication, figuring out what message your baby is trying to get across to you can be a challenge. With time, however, y…
By Kimmie Fink

Here's Why Dogs Are Obsessed With Babies' Poop, According To Science

Most family dogs seem to understand babies, and they're more than happy to make friends with the newest member of the pack. It's adorable... for the most part and until you go to change your little one's diaper. Suddenly, you're wondering why dogs ar…
By Lindsay E. Mack

6 Signs You're Meant To Have A Big Age Gap Between Kids

There's a five year age difference between my two children, to the day. Their age gap wasn't planned but, for a variety of reasons, works well for our family. And since I was so focused on having a second baby, I totally overlooked the signs that wou…
By Candace Ganger

Here's How To Introduce Your Pet To Your Baby & Make Everything As Calm As Possible

Our home, which we lovingly refer to as “the funny farm,” is filled with four-legged family members. We have two crazy beagles and two cat jerks, and boy are they loved and spoiled. (As they should be.) But we are now finally having a baby of our own…
By Abi Berwager Schreier

Here's The Right Birth Method For You, According To Your Zodiac Sign

If you're pregnant, you've probably given childbirth some serious thought. Some moms-to-be prepare a meticulous birth plan, while others are comfortable just going with the flow. And me? Well, I made a plan... but that plan was useless when faced wit…
By Steph Montgomery

My Dog Knew I Was Pregnant Before My Family Did

Growing up, I was 100 percent sure I'd be a mom one day. To a dog, that is. My baby plans came later. And once my husband and I were sure we wanted both a dog and a baby, we'd add to our joint dog-and-baby name list over Sunday brunch or on date nigh…
By Melissa Mills