Elle Stanger

There was a time in my life when I was too afraid to ask for what I wanted while I was having sex. I was an award-worthy performance actress capable of moans, groans, grunts, and even staccato breathing. I’d learned how to pull off a convincing act…

The first time I saw porn was in my parent’s bathroom. My dad kept Playboy and Hustler in a neat stack next to the toilet, secured by an ashtray that never moved. The ashtray to me symbolized a padlock — it was understood that we were not to touch…

How long until you can have sex again after childbirth? That is perhaps one of the most loaded questions that new parents face. Low libido is common in new parents, especially new mothers and especially in new working mothers, though you hear little…

When I was a child, I was a proud DARE kid. I believed Deputy McGruff when he told me that if I smoked a “doobie," I’d become entangled in a world of crime, failure, and depression. In my teens I thought that only musicians and skateboarders fell…

My ex and I sat at the white plastic table across from our daughter’s preschool teachers, twin printouts of her progress set out in front of us. Every parent wants to go to their first parent-teacher conference and be showered with praise of their…

When someone is pregnant, we usually ask them, "Is it a boy or a girl?" When I was pregnant, I asked myself the same question, and my sonogram confirmed it: there was a tiny vulva on the human growing inside me. But even though I knew I was having a…

Every morning, my daughter watches me fluff my cheeks with a brush and adjust a silver ring through my septum. My septum is the oldest of my facial piercings. I've had it in my schnozz for 11 years. I had it professionally stretched, and I can fit…

I was giving my 5-year-old a bath in our tiny tub littered with toys when she started giving me an impromptu breast exam. “That nipple is longer,” she said, pointing at my breasts. I looked down to verify this new bit of information. I counted my…

I’ve been a sex worker for eight years, and a parent for five. I chose both of these jobs. I’m constantly tired, sore, and dehydrated, and that’s before I head to the night shift. Dealing with a tiny human who has an undeveloped frontal lobe and…

Calling my partner “daddy” in bed is new to me — I used to find the kinky term of endearment to be stomach-churning, but now I call my partner “daddy” in bed because I think it’s pretty hot. I’m 30 years old, and I’ve had sex with people of all…

If you Google “how to naturally induce labor,” you’ll find a host of articles. Acupressure massage. Bananas. Pineapple. Nipple stimulation. Raspberry leaf tea. Visualization. Yoga. Wine, even. I tried each of those things, and a few more (like…

Before I had my first baby. I’d always been an orgasmic gal. My mom caught me humping my giant stuffed elephant before I was old enough to ride a bike, and in kindergarten, I learned that if I sat “criss-cross-applesauce,” I could rub my right heel…

The first time my mother had a c-section was when she gave birth to me. The doctors couldn’t find my heartbeat in that Kansas hospital in September 1986, so I was pulled from her womb. At the time, there was little conversation about vaginal births…