Elle Stanger

Elle is a stripper, sex educator, podcast host, and mother in the Pacific Northwest. She writes all of her best material on her back. Follow her at stripperwriter.com and listen to her "Strange Bedfellows" podcast.

Having A Baby Is The Perfect Time To Be Honest With Your Partner About What You Like In Bed

There was a time in my life when I was too afraid to ask for what I wanted while I was having sex. I was an award-worthy performance actress capable of moans, groans, grunts, and even staccato breathing. I’d learned how to pull off a convincing act…
By Elle Stanger

Actually, Talking About Porn With Your Kids Is Easy & Crucial

The first time I saw porn was in my parent’s bathroom. My dad kept Playboy and Hustler in a neat stack next to the toilet, secured by an ashtray that never moved. The ashtray to me symbolized a padlock — it was understood that we were not to touch…
By Elle Stanger

The 6-Week Green Light On Sex After Having A Baby Is A Bunch Of B.S.

How long until you can have sex again after childbirth? That is perhaps one of the most loaded questions that new parents face. Low libido is common in new parents, especially new mothers and especially in new working mothers, though you hear little…
By Elle Stanger

I'm A Mom Who Smokes Pot With My Kid In The House, & I'll Tell You Why

When I was a child, I was a proud DARE kid. I believed Deputy McGruff when he told me that if I smoked a “doobie," I’d become entangled in a world of crime, failure, and depression. In my teens I thought that only musicians and skateboarders fell…
By Elle Stanger

I Have A Child On The Spectrum, & I'm A Stronger Parent Because Of Her

My ex and I sat at the white plastic table across from our daughter’s preschool teachers, twin printouts of her progress set out in front of us. Every parent wants to go to their first parent-teacher conference and be showered with praise of their…
By Elle Stanger

I'm Raising My Daughter Without The Gender Binary

When someone is pregnant, we usually ask them, "Is it a boy or a girl?" When I was pregnant, I asked myself the same question, and my sonogram confirmed it: there was a tiny vulva on the human growing inside me. But even though I knew I was having a…
By Elle Stanger

I Won't Pierce My Daughter's Ears

Every morning, my daughter watches me fluff my cheeks with a brush and adjust a silver ring through my septum. My septum is the oldest of my facial piercings. I've had it in my schnozz for 11 years. I had it professionally stretched, and I can fit…
By Elle Stanger

Why I Want My Daughter To See Me Naked

I was giving my 5-year-old a bath in our tiny tub littered with toys when she started giving me an impromptu breast exam. “That nipple is longer,” she said, pointing at my breasts. I looked down to verify this new bit of information. I counted my…
By Elle Stanger

I'm A Mom. I'm Also A Sex Worker.

I’ve been a sex worker for eight years, and a parent for five. I chose both of these jobs. I’m constantly tired, sore, and dehydrated, and that’s before I head to the night shift. Dealing with a tiny human who has an undeveloped frontal lobe and…
By Elle Stanger

I Think It's Hot To Call My Partner "Daddy" In Bed

Calling my partner “daddy” in bed is new to me — I used to find the kinky term of endearment to be stomach-churning, but now I call my partner “daddy” in bed because I think it’s pretty hot. I’m 30 years old, and I’ve had sex with people of all…
By Elle Stanger

I Gave Oral Sex To My Partner To Induce Labor

If you Google “how to naturally induce labor,” you’ll find a host of articles. Acupressure massage. Bananas. Pineapple. Nipple stimulation. Raspberry leaf tea. Visualization. Yoga. Wine, even. I tried each of those things, and a few more (like…
By Elle Stanger

Childbirth Changed My Orgasm In The Best Way

Before I had my first baby. I’d always been an orgasmic gal. My mom caught me humping my giant stuffed elephant before I was old enough to ride a bike, and in kindergarten, I learned that if I sat “criss-cross-applesauce,” I could rub my right heel…
By Elle Stanger

TBH, My C-Section Scar Almost Ruined My Sex Life

The first time my mother had a c-section was when she gave birth to me. The doctors couldn’t find my heartbeat in that Kansas hospital in September 1986, so I was pulled from her womb. At the time, there was little conversation about vaginal births…
By Elle Stanger

I Was Catcalled While I Was Pregnant

On a cold January morning, I went for a walk with my two large dogs. I was seven months pregnant and the exercise was welcome, but I didn't love venturing out in public with my protruding belly. I bobbed along the street, my dogs pulling at their…
By Elle Stanger