Jam Kotenko

Jam Kotenko is a freelance contributor for Romper who occasionally writes personal essays about her experiences relating to marriage, motherhood, and everything in between. Before becoming a full-time stay-at-home mom, she used to write about cool tech and social media, often tapped to test and review new mobile apps. She's also been interviewed and asked multiple times to write about her OKCupid success story and is considered an online dating guru by people in her circles. Her bylines have appeared in Digital Trends, The Daily Dot, and GottaBeMobile. She is a mom to a 4 year old named Jasper, a 1 year old named Jones, and 4 year old Chance, a rambunctious Jack Russell Terrier-Chihuahua mix. When she's not keeping her babies entertained, she can be found binge-watching TV shows on Netflix or Hulu, listening to The Bachelor or Drag Race-related podcasts, raiding the kitchen for snacks, or trying her damnedest to nap. She hasn't had a decent nap since getting pregnant in 2015.

Parenting Anxiety In The Age Of COVID-19

A few days ago, I got a message from my cousin asking me if I had any plans of canceling our trip from Singapore, where we live, to the Philippines. Extended family members from various parts of North America and Asia are planning to fly in for our…

I Drank Dark Beer For A Week To Boost My Milk Supply, & Here's What Happened

My son is now almost 17 months old, and I'm still breastfeeding him. While I’ve successfully been his only source of liquid nourishment for the first six months of his life, my supply recently took a dip following a stressful family move, and I've…

A Love Letter To My Postpartum Body

Hey body: thank you. Thank you for carrying our newest buddy for 37 or so weeks within you, without complaint or disaster. Thank you for producing the perfect cocktail of hormones that didn’t result in a repeat performance of gestational diabetes.…

I Want My Kid To Experience The Wonder Of Santa, But I Don't Want To Lie To Him

Now that our son is 2, we've begun to discuss how to tell our child about Santa. The old man in red seeps into kids' consciousnesses somewhere after they start to recognize patterns — you don't need to introduce Santa to your kid; the mall has it…

A Mom At Our Baby-Mommy Class Turned Everyone Against Us

A vast majority of moms — if not every single one — ends up becoming their kid’s number one fan. You can’t help it. It’s human nature to love something you’ve made with every fiber of your being, no matter what. As a mom to an adorable…

The $10 Dress That Every New Mom Needs

Let’s be very, very honest about this — pregnancy and childbirth change your body. Regardless of what tabloid headlines about celebrities’ post-baby bodies and Instagram #fitspo posts might tell you, the reality is that your body’s going to look and…

I Want Another Baby, But It’s So Hard To Schedule Time To Make One

My husband and I have been successful so far in planning our shared life milestones (and making them happen) ever since we got together eight years ago. We online dated for three months before meeting in person, waited five months before moving in…

The Book That Got Me Through My Mom Funk

Reading a book 200 times is a surefire way to find out whether you love it or want to throw its rhyming llama couplets into the diaper pail. Children's books especially do a tricky dance for an audience of squinty-eyed parents and wide-eyed tots:…

Kids Need To Hear About Consent Way Younger Than We Think — I Learned That The Hard Way

"What shall we do about our Large Grown Sons?" the internet has wondered these past weeks. "Surely they aren't all bad." We have all been so busy deconstructing past sexual encounters that people have begun to worry that we are in a "sex panic." Let…

Dear People Who Insist I Cut My Son’s Hair

Dear friends, family, and random strangers alike, The next time you see me and my handsome baby, whether it's in person while running errands at the grocery, or virtually on Facebook video chat or Instagram stories, please do me this one favor: stop…

I Sacrificed My Health To Keep Nursing

I usually love breastfeeding. I love how my 16-month-old son mewls and jumps into my lap when he wants to suckle and be comforted. When he breastfeeds, I feel important and needed and like I’m his favorite person in the world. Breastfeeding is…

The Pants That Saved Me Postpartum

Let’s be very, very honest about this — pregnancy and childbirth change your body. Regardless of what tabloid headlines about celebrities’ post-baby bodies and Instagram #fitspo posts might tell you, the reality is that your body’s going to look and…

These $6 Lipsticks Are Giving Me Life

I appreciate the power of makeup. When I'm on Youtube, I always end up in a tutorial K-hole. I can spend hours watching people expertly blend foundation over their blemishes, swipe on eyeliner and mascara without stray lines or clumps, and contour…

I'm Supplementing So I Can Have A Life Outside Of Motherhood

Since my first baby was born 14 months ago, I have exclusively breastfed him. Today, however, I bought my first can of formula. I decided to supplement because I want to feel like I have a life outside of breastfeeding. When I became pregnant, there…

We Found The Perfect Postpartum Swimsuit

I like to think of myself as a pretty confident person, so I don’t usually worry about being "swimsuit-ready" for the summer. Although certain areas of my body are flabbier than others, I'm comfortable in my own skin, and that means not caring that…

I Just Got My First Postpartum Period, But I'm Not Ready To Wean

When I became pregnant, one of the things I was most excited about was breastfeeding. I made an early decision to exclusively breastfeed because I knew it was highly beneficial for me and the baby, and I knew I had the necessary…

I'm Obsessed With This Blanket-Style Cardigan

Let’s be very, very honest about this — pregnancy and childbirth change your body. Regardless of what tabloid headlines about celebrities’ post-baby bodies and Instagram #fitspo posts might tell you, the reality is that your body’s going to look and…

My Son's Heart Surgery Showed Me My Own Strength

Finding out you're pregnant when you're trying to have a baby is pretty much like being given a luxuriously wrapped birthday present 10 months early and being told not to open it until the day of. To cope with the torture of waiting, you imagine all…

My Parents Shamed Me For Scheduling My C-Section

When I first got pregnant, the first image that popped into my mind was a scene I used to draw as a child of two mountains next to each other, with a sun peeking right in the middle. It was probably because it looked a lot like a woman giving birth…

My Gestational Diabetes Was Actually A Blessing

I’ve always had a hyperactive sweet tooth. I eat Hershey’s Kisses like popcorn. Chocolate pretzels are my go-to treats. And if there’s a buffet, you can bet your ass that I’ll be at the dessert table, sampling all the pastries available and piling…