Margaret e Jacobsen

Born, adopted, and raised in Southern California, now residing in Portland, OR. Mother of two, co-parenting with my ex-husband. In love with an activist, writing and taking photos, usually while eating burritos. I believe dancing can heal all the blues.
Recent Articles

What Celebrating Hanukkah For The First Time Has Taught Me

This year, my kids and I are celebrating four different holidays: St. Lucia, in honor of my children's Scandinavian side; Kwanza, for their black side; Christmas, because that's the holiday I grew up celebrating; and Hanukkah, because my partner, the…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

A Letter To My Ex On Father’s Day

Dear Ex-Husband, You are the best father I know. When I fell in love with you, I knew you were the person I wanted to have a family with, build a home with, and raise children with. 9 years later, we are still raising our children together — but we …
By Margaret e Jacobsen

TBH, I'm Uncomfortable With My Kids Having White Friends

Once, I was at a friend's house with my two kids and her two children. At one point, the oldest of her two kids walked up to my daughter and said, "Why did God give you this gross hair? Why didn't he give you princess hair like mine?" I just stared a…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

I'm Non-Binary, & Here's How I Explain It To My Kids

Last year, I came out to my children as non-binary, which means that my gender identity doesn't fall within our current socially accepted gender binary of two genders: male and female. My pronouns are they/them, not she/her. It's not because I don't …
By Margaret e Jacobsen

My Kids Make Me Feel Proud To Be Polyamorous

Over the last four years, my family dynamic has changed because of divorce and polyamory. I'd always wanted a large family, but I believed was only attainable by having lots of kids, and polyamory was never something I thought of because I grew up in…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

As A Mom Of 2, I Think Giving Birth Is So Gross

The fact that women are able to give birth and bring tiny humans into the world is a beautiful, amazing phenomena. However, I think the actual act of giving birth is not-so beautiful. I think giving birth is pretty gross. And I say this as someone wh…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

Actually, 'Lemonade' Already Won Album Of The Year

Last night at the 59 annual Grammy awards, one of the greatest living entertainers of all time did not win Album of the Year. At first, the fact that Beyoncé lost the Album of the Year cloaked me in a lot of different feelings and responses. I wanted…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

I'm A Poly Mom, & Other Parents Shame Me For It

Coming out as polyamorous was just like coming out as queer. It was who I had been all along: I just didn't realize it until I was 25 years old. I didn't come out in any formal way, and I didn't make any announcements on social media. I simply starte…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

It's Hard For Me To Talk To My White Friends About Being A Black Mom In America

There are moments when I'm at the playground with my children and our friends when I have to remind my children not to pretend to be playing with guns, while the white mother beside me lets her children carry on playing. This happened last summer, wh…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

I Live With A Mental Illness, & I Think I Know What Kanye West's Going Through

For the past few years, we've cringed as we've watched Kanye West go on countless rants, most recently against Beyonce, Jay-Z and Hillary Clinton at a concert in Sacramento. We've covered our eyes whenever he's said something offensive, and we've oft…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

The Truth Is, Co-Parenting Doesn't Get Easier

For the most part, I've loved co-parenting with my ex-husband. We live within seven minutes of each other and our schedules are fairly flexible, so we pick up the kids from school together, share meals, and even do some of our shopping together. We a…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

For People Of Color, The Whitelashing Of The 2016 Election Is Nothing New

In the fall of 2008, I gave birth to a baby girl who was both white and black, and in the same month, Barack Obama was elected President of the United States. The air, the people around me, the world — everything felt quite magical. President Obama h…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

We Knew It Was Over, But We Waited 2 Years To Divorce

It was almost two years before my ex-husband and I divorced after we decided that our marriage was over. I lived in the house for a few months after we had the conversation that saw us choosing to end our relationship. Before we made the final decisi…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

Actually, Cheating Wasn't The Reason I Left My…

I cheated on my husband during our seven-year marriage, but that isn't why we got divorced. In fact, after cheating, an interesting thing happened to our relationship: we were able to be honest with each other in a way we'd never been able to be befo…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

What 9 Moms Of Stillborn & Miscarried Babies Wish People Knew

It's been seven years since my first miscarriage, and it still hurts today as badly as it did then. At the time, I remember struggling to put into words what I was experiencing. I remember not knowing how to ask for what I wanted and needed. I didn't…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

Actually, I'm Glad I Scheduled My C-Section

My first birth was an emergency c-section. At least, that's what my doctors and nurses called it. I made the choice to have a c-section, no one else made it for me, and I'm really glad I chose a c-section delivery. After being in labor for over 30 ho…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

Actually, Donald Trump, Motherhood Isn't The "Most Important Job" I'll Ever Have

As a young child, raised as a girl, I remember assuming that I'd ultimately grow up to be married and have children. I thought that's just what women did. But as I got older, I learned, mostly from watching my older cousins, that I didn't have to hav…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

I Don't Read To My Kids At Bedtime — Because My New Partner Does

I no longer read to my children at bedtime. Not because I don't like reading to them, but because reading to them at night was a tradition when I was still married to their dad. The four of us would sit on the same bed and snuggle up for bedtime read…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

Honestly, Falling Out Of Love Wasn't Why I Divorced My Husband

I can't help but cringe whenever a couple in Hollywood divorces, especially if they've been together for more than 10 years. It's not because I'm upset about their divorce, but because I know all too well the narrative surrounding divorce in our cult…
By Margaret e Jacobsen

Losing My 3-Year-Old Son In The Mall Was An Absolute Nightmare

There are a few things I was always afraid of happening to my children when I first became a parent. I was afraid of SIDS, so a lot of nights I'd obsessively check both of my babies breathing to make sure they were still OK. I was afraid of my childr…
By Margaret e Jacobsen