Reddit Is Debating Whether Grandmas Should Be Celebrated On Mother's Day

How do you spend Mother’s Day? In an ideal world, would you spend your day being feted by your adoring children for all of your love and dedication and hard work? Or are you, like one mom on Reddit, shuttling between your mother’s house and your mother-in-law’s house to celebrate them instead? A mom recently took to Reddit to argue that Mother’s Day shouldn’t really be about grandmothers, and her post started a debate about grandparents and their roles in our lives.

The busy mom plead her case for Mother’s Day and Father’s Day to be about the parents on the sub-Reddit forum Mommit. “Our parents have had 30+ Mother’s and Father’s Days about themselves,” she wrote. “Now that we (their children) have children, they need to give up the holiday.” She went on to note that she feels like it’s “completely unreasonable to expect moms of little ones to organize and celebrate both our own mothers and mother-in-laws, with nothing left for ourselves.”

As her mother and her husband’s mother live far apart, she finds that her time is spent traveling between them for the weekend and left wondering, “Where is my day? I’ve raised this issue before and both our mothers recognize it’s hard on me, but both won’t budge on picking out a day of something they want to do with the families. As if my Mother’s Day present should just be grateful to get family time. But when I have to plan and prep and buy presents…how is that fun? Why do these Boomers make everything about themselves? I know I’m not the only one in this boat. Practically every other mom my age (34) I speak to about this is in the same boat.”

The Redditor pointed out that grandparents do, in fact, have an official day dedicated to them in September, and thinks Mother’s Day and Father’s Day should be left for parents.

The post certainly hit a nerve with Redditors, many of whom agreed that Mother’s Day should be primarily about moms “in the trenches,” including one very forward-thinking mother-in-law who wrote, “I’m a MIL and I agree! It’s for the moms in the trenches. My son is married and has a 14mo old, Mother’s Day should be all about his wife! He can call me quick or send a card but I don’t need any focus. My husband is actually going to be out of town and I get the whole day TO MYSELF!!! It only took 25 years, girls, but I did it. I finally got my day off.”

A fellow mom shared her own struggle, “Both my mother and mother-in-law are super helpful so I feel like absolute crap not celebrating them…but also, they know that leaves no time for me. Like, my husband and kids want to do something for me, but are left trying it piece in moments in between the grandparents. It’s kinda messed up to me.”

This person pointed out that high expectations could really be the issue here, “I don’t mind celebrating my mom and MIL on Mother's Day, but we also don't have needy moms that demand our presence and attention. So maybe it makes it easier to celebrate when it's not like an obligation and all day affair.” Another commenter agreed that there could be a happy medium, “I will always celebrate my mother and MIL because to me this is a holiday for all mothers including grandmothers and great grandmothers, but maybe there’s a creative solution to include them both, a group brunch or something?”

No moms should feel as though they’re on the hook to make all the plans for Mother’s Day. Whether they are still in the trenches or their kids are grown, it’s meant to be a day off. For every mom.