Pride Instagram Captions For Every Rainbow On Your Feed

I almost can’t believe Pride is here again. It feels like we’ve been waiting forever to celebrate in person, and now that we are, my joy cannot be contained. However, the echoes of the voices of Marsha P. Johnson and Storme Delarverie have never waned in the minds and hearts of queer people, and now that we can celebrate, we should.

But while everything feels fresh and new after months of seclusion, some things seem to be sticking — like the need for the perfect Instagram caption for every single picture we take. Like signs, it’s become a bit of a competitive sport for the girls, geighs, and theys, and it’s honestly hard work. Do you pair that picture of your kid holding a bi flag in one hand and a glazed bacon donut in the other with a pithy quip on not choosing, or do you use a quote from a Demi Lovato song? (Honestly, both would be great in that scenario, and cheers, Demi, on coming out as enby, we love that for you.)

Still, it’s hard, and we’ve done nothing this past year but think of crap to post on the internet, and frankly, we’re tired. Lucky for you, it’s kind of my job, and therefore, I have compiled a list of captions for you to copy and paste. You’re welcome.

Happy Pride Instagram Captions

• “I’m not gay, but if I was, I’d be the first person running out of the closet.” — Dolly Parton
• “We are family. All of us, celebrating Pride, are family.”
• “Kiss lots of boys — or kiss lots of girls — if that’s something you're into.” — Kacey Musgraves
• “It’s time for a giant, gay, iced coffee. #iykyk.”
• “There is always the realm of danger when we contemplate the erotic, and always uncertainty.” — Blanche Wiesen Cook
• “Openness may not completely disarm prejudice, but it’s a good place to start.” — Jason Collins
• "We should indeed keep calm in the face of difference, and live our lives in a state of inclusion and wonder at the diversity of humanity." — George Takei
• “Boys keep swinging, Boys always work it out, Uncage the colors, Unfurl the flag, Luck just kissed you hello.” — David Bowie, “Boys Keep Swinging”
• “When you’re in a battle with an enemy that’s so much bigger, so much stronger than you, to find out you had a friend you never knew existed, well, that’s the best feeling in the world. Can you see what we’ve done here, by coming together, all of us? We made history!” — Pride (2014)
• Love one another.

For The Photos Of Your Kid Meeting A Drag Queen & Enjoying The Parade

• “The only royalty my child will likely ever meet, and honestly, I’m here for it after how they treated Duchess Megan.”
• “OK, but like see all these kids? It’s past time for a gay superhero. #pagingmarvel.”
• “How do I explain to them that even though the queers are the biggest glitter queens on planet earth, that I am literally never buying them any glitter ever? #itgetseverywhere”
• “Sure, the theme song to Drag Race pulls you out of bed like a cannon, but in-person drag music lulls you to sleep?”
• “Now taking applications for a queer stepmom. Kate McKinnon, please apply immediately. I mean, look how cute my kids are. (Right now. When they’re happy at a parade and hopped up on popsicles and purse snacks. Maybe don’t look in a few hours.)”

For That First Post-Pandemic Pride Pic

• “It’s been a long year, and we’ve decided that even though Pride isn’t cancelled, real pants, are, in fact, cancelled.”
• “We’re vaxxed, we’ve got snacks, and we’re ready to make tracks in the parade.”
• “I got so excited for Pride, I peed my pants. (Don’t ask which one of us.)”
• “‘Kiss each other, we’re cool for the summer’ — OK, I lied. I need air conditioning. It’s really hot and I’m not used to socializing with this many people.”
• “Where’s my rainbow-colored hermetically-sealed bubble?”