What I Talk About With My Mom Friends
Fashion designer and entrepreneur Rachel Zoe on the best advice her mom friends have given her and the healing power of the night shower
Being Kinder To Ourselves
I would say that the best piece of advice another mom friend gave me was that we need to give ourselves permission to not be superwomen or supermom all the time. As women and mothers, there is this expectation that we have to be perfect or good at every task that comes our way and that’s just not true. We need to be kinder to ourselves and really own the things that don’t come as naturally to us.
The Pandemic Screen Time Question
I feel like during COVID, it was so hard to limit or reduce my kids’ screen time because I know it is one of the few ways my boys could stay socially connected to their friends. A lot of my mom friends are dealing with the same exact thing so at least I know I’m definitely not the only one worrying about this.
I would say that I am more strict than some and less than others, but I try to focus on what they watch or play. Kaius loves online chess and Skyler loves Minecraft so I try to keep screen time as educational as possible. We definitely still have meltdowns from time to time but I think sticking to a schedule keeps their expectations in check.
Kids and Social Media
I am just on the brink of this but so many of my mom friends with older kids are dealing with the whole social media thing. I am honestly dreading it. Children can be exposed to so much through social media and I really want to be able to preserve their innocence for as long as possible. I already know a handful of moms who are dealing with cyberbullying and I just cannot imagine that. Bullying can happen anytime and is not something that goes away throughout your life, unfortunately. I want my boys to be able to have the tools to deal with these situations and I always lean on my friends for advice. I feel so lucky because a lot of my friends have children that are already in the pre-teen category, so I always know I can call them for immediate feedback or information. I do really try to listen and learn from all of their experiences.
We need to be kinder to ourselves and really own the things that don’t come as naturally to us.
Time management is really tricky and I know a lot of other mothers and working mothers know what I mean. The one thing I will say is that my boys love to know exactly what their day will hold. They like to know the set amount of time they have for school and sports and play, and they definitely get that from me.
I really try to be 100% with my kids when I’m with them, and 100% in work when I need to be. In my mind, when I’m not working I just want to spend quality time with my boys. I figure that I can make up for lost self care once they are grown up.
I will say that I shower at night now and that’s probably my only self care secret. The mornings are so busy with feeding the boys and getting them ready to start school, that if I shower in the morning I feel like I’m already late for my day. When I shower at night, I can take my time and I don’t have anyone banging on the door to ask for something.