Signs Your Partner’s Anger Is Not Just Run-Of-The-Mill Anger
Some things are never okay.
Anger is a part of life. Neither you nor your partner will be happy all the time. It can also be healthy to be angry sometimes and there are healthy ways in which you can express your anger. However, you might also notice some concerning things about your partner's anger that you likely do not want to ignore. The signs of a possible rage disorder are important to recognize because you may need to take steps to make sure that you can protect yourself and stay safe. Anger will likely be, to a certain extent, part of any relationship, at least from time to time, but handling it in a healthy way is vital — and rage or anger disorders are something very different than run-of-the-mill anger.
"You have to be really careful when you approach people about these things that you’re not accusatory, that you’re not shaming, and that you’re really just talking to them about how it affects you and what you need out of the relationship," Dr. Suzanne Wallach, PsyD, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist, tells Romper. "So I guess an example of that would be, ‘when you get angry, it makes me feel scared. I’m wondering if you would be willing to talk to me or talk to someone else about this.’"
Wallach says that if you're approaching your partner about their rage at all, which she doesn't advise doing if you're worried they'll get violent, you should try to recruit a therapist to help you. Whether or not you're going to try to talk to your partner about their rage, if you notice these signs that their anger is something more serious, it's important for you to reach out for help and protect yourself in the process.
If you notice signs that your partner's anger might be a rage disorder instead of healthy anger, there are things that can be done to help both of you. If you're scared of your partner, Wallach advises turning to a professional on your own, but if this is something that the two of you are going to work on together, couples counseling might be able to help. At the very least, you'll have someone on your side who can help you figure out the best way to move forward safely, either with your partner or without.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic abuse, call 911 or the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org