After you pop that bun out of your oven, the countdown is on for a list of things: baby sleeping through the night, hearing "mama" for the first time, watching your little take her first steps, and OH YEAH, having sex for the first time after baby. But before you strip down to your skivvies and beckon your partner to the bedroom, you need to be prepared for the embarrassing things that happen to your body when having sex after giving birth. Because it takes some time for everything to return to it's normal state after delivery, and knowing is better than being caught by surprise.
Don't get me wrong, sex can still be wonderful and feel delightful, but there are a few surprises that could sneak up on you and make you feel slightly embarrassed in the moment. However, it's important to remember that these things have happened to plenty of women before you and will continue to happen to other postpartum women until the end of time. And although you're not alone in these odd occurrences between the sheets, it doesn't mean you won't feel a little awkward if it blindsides you. Be ready to laugh off anything knowing that these embarrassing things come with the territory of having sex after giving birth.
1. Squirt Milk On Your Partner
Oops! Did some of your breast milk laser beam into your partner's eye while you were getting it on? No worries, it's actually quite common. "Oxytocin, the hormone that causes the contractions felt during orgasm, is also responsible for the milk ejection reflex, or letdown," as Baby Center pointed out.
2. You Have To Break For Lube
No one wants to pause in the heat of passion, but after having a baby, some things change. Post-delivery, a decrease in vaginal lubrication is normal, as Healthline pointed out. But don't be too embarrassed if you have to stop mid romp to reach for the lube. At least it's there to help you get to where you want to go.
3. You Leak Some Pee
Oh, the things your body goes through to have a beautiful baby. Now that all the extra weight of carrying a human is gone, your bladder is figuring out how to function again and incontinence is common in postpartum women, as the website for the March of Dimes explained. Leaking a little pee is possible when having sex, since all your lady parts are receiving stimulation.
4. Uncontrollable Gas
Even though your belly may not be rumbling, postpartum gas has a mind of its own and can show up in the most awkward of situations. Since postpartum constipation is very common, your bowels need time to get back to normal, according to Baby Center. Which means in the meantime, involuntary gas can happen.
5. You Have A New Signature Scent
As Babble explained, the changes in hormones can cause a strange or strong odor for some women after childbirth. This means your signature scent may be a little — ahem — more noticeable while you're in the postpartum phase and hormonal levels are evening back out.
6. You Become A Sexual Animal
Those postpartum hormones aren't all bad, some women say it's thanks to the 'mones that they had the best sex of their lives after baby. As clinical sexologist Kat Van Kirk told Women's Health, "there seems to be some evidence that nerve compression from the trauma of birth can increase a woman’s orgasmic sensitivity in a positive way." Which means you may find yourself going bananas in the bedroom more than ever before.
7. You Check Out
Getting lost in the moment of lust is one thing, but after having a little, your brain may be drift away from the action more often. Having a new baby in the house can put your brain on alert wondering if your baby is OK, and this hyper vigilance makes it harder for you to orgasm, according to Everyday Family.
8. You Say Your Baby's Name
If you have baby on the brain while doing the deed, you may accidentally blurt out your little's name. Hopefully this is something you and your partner can laugh off, since it's just your mommy brain kicking into action and nothing more.
9. You're A Sweaty Mess
Wild sex may be only part of the reason you're soaking through the sheets. According to Self magazine, your body needs to release the extra fluid you carried during pregnancy, which often results in your sweat glands working overtime. After a little bow chicka bow bow, you may look more like you've just run a marathon than anything else.
10. You Get Blood On Your Partner
As What To Expect explained on their website, lochia is a postpartum vaginal discharge of leftover blood from the delivery which releases from a woman's body for varying lengths of time. It's common for women to see this during sex due to the stimulation, which may be an extra boost for releasing lochia.