Most baby shower cards tend to skew more sentimental than humorous, but that doesn't mean you can't write in your own hilarious message. In fact, the mom-to-be will probably appreciate a good laugh when she's 'oohing and ahhing' her way through some of those not so cute gifts, like snot suckers and diaper pails. But if you're stumped on how to make your note stand out, we've got 10 hilarious things to write in a baby shower card that are guaranteed to bring the expecting mama to tears... because she's laughing so hard, of course.
One message I still remember from one of my baby shower cards simply read, "Having kids changes everything." It was a cryptic note that had me feeling simultaneously excited and scared. One things for sure — it was honest. Two kids later, I agree that kids definitely do change everything, but I would add that they do so in the most wonderful ways. A friend of mine told me that someone wrote in one of her shower cards, "From one mom of boys to the other, prepare to get peed on!" Again, maybe not the most inspirational but definitely pretty funny.
If you're hoping to get a really good belly laugh out of your pregnant friend, then it's time to try out one of these hilarious baby shower card notes.
For the Pregnant Mama in the Final Stretch
When you're 40 weeks pregnant, time seems to move at a glacial pace. You'll do almost anything to get the thing out of you!
Jotting down this joke from Thought Catalog in your friend's shower card will let her know that you understand her plight: "Each month has an average of 30-31 days, except the last month of pregnancy, which has 5,489,234."
Truer words have never been spoken.
For the Pregnant Mama Who Likes to Keep It Real
Anyone who has ever had a baby come out of her vagina knows that when the baby is crowning, it feels like your own personal reign of terror. That's why this joke from Peek-a-Boo Pregnancy is perfect for a friend that's the straight-shooter type: "What does it mean when the baby's head is crowning? It means you feel as though not only a crown but the entire throne is trying to make its way out of you."
If you don't want to scare her too much, you can add that the moment immediately following, when the baby actually comes out, feels like you've just been made queen of the world.
For the Friend Who Used to Be Your Drinking Buddy
Not drinking for nine months can be seriously tough, especially when your friends are throwing back delicious cocktails while you sip water, like Kate Hudson recently joked on her Instagram story.
If your pregnant friend used to be your favorite drinking buddy, then this is what you need to write in her card: "Your days of mocktails are almost over. I'll sure miss drinking for the both of us."
For the Pregnant Mama With No Baby-Changing Experience
If your pregnant friend has never actually changed a diaper, it's fun to joke about the sheer amount of poop she's about to see. To quote a funny Etsy card I saw recently: "$hits and giggles are coming your way. Mostly $hits though!"
You can really up the laugh factor by buying that Diaper Genie on her registry.
For the Pregnant Mama Who Loves Mexican Food
When I was pregnant with my second, I ordered Mexican food for lunch practically every day. I was consuming so many quesadillas and burritos that my coworkers threw me a Mexican food-themed baby shower. If your pregnant friend is happiest in line at the taco truck, or just loves a good pregnancy pun, this joke is perfect to write in her card: "Holy Guacamole, you're going to avo baby!"
For the Pregnant Mama Who's Boobs Doubled in Size
My sister jokingly called me "Jugs" when I was pregnant because my normally small breasts got pretty ginormous. Jessie James Decker, star of Eric & Jessie, also joked about her pregnancy boobs, calling them a size 32G!
If your pregnant friend is in the same boat, you can write this funny phrase in her shower card: "If you think your pregnancy boobs are good, just wait until you start breastfeeding!"
For the Pregnant Mama Expecting a Boy
People are prone to making pee jokes when the mom is expecting a boy. But one of the funniest things I've ever heard a pregnant woman say was that she thought it was funny that she was growing a little penis inside her. You can use that for the shower card by writing, "Good work growing a little penis!"
Now that's guaranteed to make her laugh, maybe even cause her to spit out her drink!
For the Pregnant Mama Already Asking for an Epidural
Some moms want a natural birth, some want the drugs the second the contractions start. If your pregnant friend is already asking for an epidural, then this joke from Thought Catalog is perfect to write in her shower card: "Are you planning on having a natural childbirth? Why, yes —in that it’s completely natural to take drugs to alleviate excruciating pain!"
For the Proud Pregnant Mama
It's pretty amazing to grow a human inside you for nine months, and then give birth to that human. The experience had me feeling like a superwoman. If you want to give your pregnant friend confidence and make her laugh, then use this quote from the famous midwife, Ina May Gaskin: “There is no other organ quite like the uterus. If men had such an organ they would brag about it. So should we.”
For the Pregnant Mama with a Petite Bump
Actress Rachel Weisz recently joked about her baby bump onThe Late Show with Stephen Colbert, saying that she just ate "too much pizza." You can totally use that same sentiment in a baby shower card by writing, "And here I thought you just ate too much pizza!"
Your pregnant mama friend will appreciate that you finally know that she's not having a food baby!