College Graduation
You don’t have to take this whole ceremony thing too seriously.
The days of marathon study sessions and serving drinks from a kiddie pool have come to a close, and it’s time to share the news. As the hilarious Instagram captions for college graduation prove, it’s great to celebrate this momentous occasion with a little humor. After all, you probably experienced more than a few absurd moments along the way to that higher degree, so laughter is a fitting response.
Really, though, it can be scary to walk across that stage and say goodbye to the friends and educators who helped you get a degree. But like many huge life changes, graduation is best celebrated with a sense of humor. Sure, you can go full dad-jokes with punny graduation captions for Instagram, going on about how you’re one degree hotter now. But what’s more collegiate than quoting some brilliant person to help describe your situation? Here’s a full range of quotes from comedians, sitcom characters, songwriters, and great thinkers that are somehow perfect for the whole college experience. Whether you’re feeling a bit nostalgic, or you’re eager to escape the dorm room life once and for all, here’s some funny Instagram captions about college graduation that will pair perfectly with all your cap and gown pics.
1
“What is college? Stop going until we figure it out. Because I went to college. I have no idea what it was.” — John Mulaney
Well, it’s a little too late to stop going if you’ve already graduated. But you’ll probably spend the rest of your life pondering the college experience.
2
“What, like it’s hard?” – Elle Woods from “Legally Blonde”
The indomitable Elle Woods sails through law school in the movie Legally Blonde, just living her best life along the way. Use her cheery words for your Insta captions, even if your own college experience was a little rougher.
3
“Real success and accomplishment, at whatever it is you are passionate about, requires real work. Real sacrifice. Real disappointment. Real failure. And it requires the ability to scrape your sorry *ss up off the floor, stumble to your feet, wipe the rivulets of watery drool from your face, and do it again, like an obstinate toddler running against the wall with his head in a bucket.” ― Aisha Tyler
Basically every word of celebrity Aisha Tyler’s book, Self-Inflicted Wounds: Heartwarming Tales of Epic Humiliation, is worth quoting. But this line about determination is especially fitting for the graduation crowd.
4
"Let me say no danger and no hardship ever makes me wish to get back to that college life again." — Joshua Chamberlain
Granted, Chamberlain attended college in the 1850s, so the whole scene is probably a little different now. Still, college students have felt the stresses of study for generations.
5
“Only he who attempts the absurd is capable of achieving the impossible.” – Miguel de Unamuno
College can feel both absurd and impossible at times. But the bizarre journey makes graduation that much sweeter.
6
"Out of college, money spent. See no future, pay no rent. All the money's gone, nowhere to go." — The Beatles
This line from "You Never Give Me Your Money" (1969) still sums up many post-graduation feelings for current grads. With that in mind, there are plenty of things that get better after graduating college, such as your sleep schedule and (hopefully) stress level.
7
“I don’t want to do things. I want to not do things.” — April Ludgate
There’s an appropriate April Ludgate quote for almost every situation. The Parks and Recreation character just gets it.
8
“Learned almost everything that I know. Without ever gaining knowledge. In college, yeah college.” — Pat Greene
The song “College” by Pat Greene examines the other things you get from higher education, such as lifelong friends and (perhaps) a romantic partner. There was so much more to the experience aside from your GPA.
9
"Now that you’ve graduated, just remember: Bosses don’t usually accept notes from your mother." — Melanie White
Well, you can still try. But it probably won’t go over very well.
10
“You have been told to follow your dreams. But — what if it's a stupid dream? If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.” — Stephen Colbert
In Stephen Colbert’s 2011 commencement address to Northwestern University, the comedian cracked plenty of jokes that were laced with serious wisdom. This bit about following your dreams is a legitimately fantastic piece of advice to graduates.
11
“What do you do with a B.A. in English, What is my life going to be? Four years of college and plenty of knowledge have earned me this useless degree.” — “What Do You Do with a B.A. in English?” from Avenue Q
Does anything capture that just-graduated feeling better than the opening song for Broadway musical Avenue Q? It’s essential listening.
12
“ This is a great day for all of you. Except for those of you leaving college with any student loan debt. I don’t know what to say to you. I’m sorry. I hope you win the lottery.” — Maya Rudolph
Comedian Maya Rudolph delivered the 2015 Tulane University commencement address with plenty of laughs along the way. Rudolph did not, however, reveal any winning lotto numbers to the grads.
13
“Congratulate the students for being able to walk even a half a mile in this non-breathable fabric in the Williamsburg heat. I am sure the environment that now exists under your robes, are the same conditions that primordial life began on this earth.” — Jon Stewart
In his 2004 commencement address to the College Of William & Mary, Stewart shared some serious life advice to the grads. But this quip about graduation robes will ring true to anyone who has worn one of those garments.
So when you cap off your college experience by documenting pics on social media, don’t worry about getting super profound or sentimental. If you’re in more of a jokey mood, then funny Instagram captions about college graduation are a perfect fit.
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