10 Hilarious Valentine's Day Cards For Your Funny Valentine


I've been married since a few days after the beginning of time, and I still love Valentine's Day. My husband and I don't do much in the way of presents, but we always get each other cards. My hubs usually goes for one of those "requires cellophane and might have a considerable amount of gold calligraphy on it." I, on the other hand, usually go for something cheeky and fun. (I am not the serious one in our marriage.) Each year I try to outdo myself, and this holiday, I found these hilarious Valentine's Day cards. Honestly, I don't know how I'll decide.

There are a ton of places online to find great, hilarious Valentine's Day cards, and most of them ship really fast. If you've waited until the last minute, you can always buy a printable card for your lover — just make sure to print it on decent stock. (Not whatever the copier at work has in its loader.) Alternatively, it's really sweet to make your own valentine, and if you have a bit of a funny bone, you can use it to your advantage. As for me, I prefer to buy mine already made and ready to be personalized.

1A Truth-Telling Card

Cheeky Valentine


Oh how very true this is. Most days I feel like my husband hung the moon. Some days, I want to send him there. (Preferably the dark side.) I love this card from Zazzle, and at just $3, it's a steal compared to much of what you'd find in stores.

2For The TV Fans

Downloadable Valentine


My absolute favorite show on television right now is 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine,' and this card is the wind beneath my wings. Captain Holt is arguably one of the best parts of the show, and this card perfectly gets his deadpan delivery. Also, this is an instant download. You're welcome.

3Nerd Alert

Zazzle Card


My husband and I are gigantic nerds, but only one of us was a mathlete and on Science Squad. Hint: I have to use a calculator to add tip to a meal. (It was definitely him. He has ribbons and medals.) This card is perfect for my sexy nerd, and maybe yours, too.

4Subliminal Messaging

Funny Valentine


If you can't tell, I'm not exactly the subtle sort. That's why a card like this is perfect because it almost does it for me, but doesn't hold back. I should have it delivered to his work. (Although, after giving birth, this sentiment was far less true.)

5That's Just How It Works

Funny Downloadable Valentine


It's the truth. This card is just letting my husband know that I've staked my claim in a decorative script. It's better than embroidering all of his stuff with our monogram — especially considering I don't know how to embroider.

6Fill In The Blank

Cute/Funny Valentine


You could tell your love what those thoughts look like. Or you could draw a diagram on the inside of the card. Both would work equally well.

7We're All Plant People Now

Plant Lady Valentine


I have roughly 10 million houseplants, so my husband would not be surprised by this card one iota. (But he would definitely get a chuckle out of it.)

8Sure To Be A Hit

Nugget Valentine


This is adorable for any couple, but honestly, it feels really appropriate for parents. Nuggets are life. They're roughly three-quarters the makeup of many of our children, and they're survival food for literally everyone.

9Straight To The Point

Older Man Valentine


My husband is more than a decade older than me, so I'm definitely down for this card. He'll find it funny because it's true — he's *so* lucky.

10True Love Stinks

Love Is Not Having to Hold Your Farts In


I mean, it's the truth, right? True love stinks, and this card proves it.