When you're trying to conceive, it's common sense to undergo a full medical exam. Part of that exam may include fertility testing, which I went through so I could know what my uterus looked like, what my egg reserve was, and to ensure I was STD and disease free. As you can imagine, that exam is stressful (to say the least). I couldn't help but wonder if (and hope that) the thoughts going through my mind were things every woman thinks during her fertility testing (hello solidarity) and since I'd sworn off the internet until my results came back, I had no way of knowing for sure.
Being in my mid-30s, I fall into the category of advanced maternal age. While that category doesn't mean people are giving up their seats for me on public transit (or that I'm having dinner at the early bird buffet) it does mean that, because I'm over the age of 35, getting pregnant might be harder for me than it is for younger women, according to the Mayo Clinic. There are so many things I adore about being in my mid-30s: increased self-awareness, the ability to apply the perfect winged eyeliner, mind-blowing orgasms, and pretty much never having to do a keg stand for attention again. However, this whole "advanced maternal age" thing doesn't sit all that well with me.
Still, since this is the only body I've got and I want to have a live birth, I've decided to go along with it and embrace my "maternal age" like the self-possessed woman I am. As any chronic worrier will tell you, the more information you're essentially armed with, the less you tend to stress. Or, as Bob tells Charlotte in the film Lost In Translation, "The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you." So I got probed, and had my hormones tested, all in the name of knowing exactly who I am and all while the following things ran through my head: