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10 Things No One Actually Likes About Toddlers

by Jennifer Germano

It's easy to wax poetic about how fun and exciting and adorable toddlers are. They're coming into their own; they're exploring the world around them with fearlessness and intrigue; they're developing their own unique personalities; they're able to say "I love you" and kill you with absolute cuteness. However, while all of that is true, there are some things no on actually likes about toddlers, too. After all, you can't have the absolutely good without some of the undeniably bad, right?

When I had my daughter, everyone told me that while the baby stage was fun and precious and something I should treasure, I would probably have more fun once my little newborn became a rambunctious toddler. Turns out, they weren't lying. Now that she has discovered her imagination, knows how to use it, and can communicate how she's using it, she's this portal to an entirely new world of fun and adventure and it's, honestly, the best. I get to be a kid again, because my kid is free to be her toddler self.

However, with this newfound freedom and burst of creative energy, has come defiance and a constant need to assert her independence. Both aren't necessarily a bad thing, but, well, it's not all roses when you have a toddler. For example:

They Wake Up Way Too Early

Once upon a time, you thought that having to get up at seven, eight or even nine in the morning was ridiculous and far, far too early for any human being to prepare for the day. Now, a seven, eight or nine in the morning wakeup call considered sleeping in.

How Quickly They've Developed An "Attitude"

Toddlers have learned the power of the word "no" and boy, do they like to use it. Coupled with their need to push buttons and test boundaries and, well, the attitude of a toddler can be a little much, especially if you're braving a toddler sleep regression on top of toddler sass.

Not all heroes wear capes, you guys.

Their (Usually Public) Toddler Tantrums

No explanation necessary.

They're Pretty Gross

It can be an endearing type of gross, to be sure, but it's still pretty gross how a toddler will lick every surface in their vicinity, put everything they find in their mouth, and walk around with snot all over their face like it's cool. They're dirty little beings, these toddlers.

Head Lice Is A Thing You Have To Worry About Now

The more socialized your toddler becomes — going to daycare or preschool, playing in playgrounds with other kids or going to playdates — the higher the chance of head lice. Why is this even a thing? Seriously, WHY?!

They Take Fewer Naps During The Day

Usually, a toddler will take one nape, maybe two (if you're lucky), a day. That's it. The days where you could clean or work or complete your daily tasks in peace while your baby sleeps for the seventeenth time, are over. They're long gone. They are but a figment of your still-exhausted memory. Sigh.

They're Picky Eaters. Usually.

Of course, no two children are alike. I know plenty of toddlers that will eat anything and everything. However, others are starting to figure out what they like and don't like, and they're pretty quick to tell you about it.

The toddler age is when you start to realize that you have a picky eater for a baby and, well, that's just the most frustrating. Godspeed, moms. Godspeed.

Sometimes, Diapers Are Still A Thing...

The average age of a potty trained toddler is 30 months, so it's not uncommon for a toddler to be in the middle of transitioning from diapers to frequent "poop potty" use. That means most parents of toddlers are still dealing with diapers and diaper changing.

Of course, this is far worse because, well, these kids are taking "big kid" poops and pees now.

...Even Though You're Probably Dealing With Potty Training And All Its Struggles

Ugh, potty training. Potty training is the seventh circle of parenting hell. Potty training is the poop-and-pee filled nightmare of our dreams. Potty training is the worst.

They Eavesdrop (And Then Repeat What They've Heard, Like A Bunch Of Narcs)

They hear every word and, even if they don't necessarily understand every word and its meaning or intended meaning, they repeat every word.