I hate baby showers. I hate the little pink or blue confetti scattered across the table (because why?). I hate the dainty finger foods (give me a real sandwich), and I hate the dumb games. Seriously. If you send me an invite, only do so if you're throwing a totally modern, gender neutral party with none of the above or I'll politely decline. This ain't my first rodeo, so while some of the typical stuff is OK, most are things no one actually wants to do at a baby shower. Please tell me I'm not alone here.
My first baby shower was held in the community room at a Panera Bread. My (then) boyfriend's mother offered to throw it, supposedly inviting everyone I knew. There was great food (because Panera) and none of that confetti, but yes: there were games. The worst of it all? Hardly anyone came. I was humiliated. It was my first baby so it was kind of a big deal. Where was everyone? I'm obviously so over it (read: definitely not over it).
A few years later, when pregnant with my son, my mom offered to throw me a shower at her house with the basic ground rules as previously stated. We had great food, cake (because who doesn't love cake?!), and people actually showed up. That was a hella good shower. I don't have anything against anyone who wants to play baby games or partake in all the intimate questions about labor and delivery, but I'm just saying: I'm not into it and I really don't think most people are either. For the most part, they just don't want to hurt your pregnant feelings. Just so you know, here's my worst offenders list in case you're in the planning stages and aren't sure whether or not to include afternoon tea (seriously, please just stop).