Like most parents I know, I have mixed feelings about Halloween. I love the whole idea of dressing up as someone else, but I'm not the mom who spends months preparing for this holiday. Props to those who do, but it's just not me. Luckily, my kids don't mind if I purchase a ready-made costume and face paints. I may be horrible at making costumes myself, but I'm pretty fantastic at getting out of making my kid's halloween costumes. Sorry not sorry, you guys. It's a gift, really.
This year my kids are having a terrible time trying to figure out what they even want to be. One wants us all to participate by way of some carefully coordinated family-themed outfit, and the other wants to go totally rogue via some complicated costume that would require more of my creativity than I'm capable of providing. Typically the whole "what to wear on Halloween?" question is easily answered, too: I go the store and purchase whatever and voila — done! But lately my 10-year-old daughter has been all about standing out and while I appreciate her creativity and unique sense of style, I am not capable of meeting her expectations. Things like adding a fringe there or sewing some whatever here or creating the perfect artistry via face chalk on her eyelids? Yeah, I can't do that, you guys.
When I was little my mom always bought my costumes or, if we were really short on money, I threw something together based on things we had around the house. She never sewed or patched or glued anything. My partner, on the other hand, always had his costumes hand-sewn by his mom. That's really great and all, but it's totally not something I'd do, or even could do, or would ever want to do. Life's too short to spend time cursing at a pile of fabrics. With that, here are all the ways I get out of making my precious children's Halloween costumes. Target still have a few options available, right?
Buy A Costume
I'm not made of money or anything (and if I were, I'd buy all the conveniences available because, guys, that's the dream), but if I can scrounge together some change to pay for the costumes my kids want me to make, that's exactly what I'm going to do. And I won't feel a single bit guilty because whatever they wear won't end up looking like sh*t.
Beg A Friend To Make A Costume For You
I'm a proud woman, my friends, but I am not above begging if it means someone else will make my children's Halloween costumes for me.
Pretend Halloween Was Cancelled
Look, I already lie to my kids about Santa Clause, so honestly: what's the damn different? Right? I mean, sewing a costume is so much hassle and energy and work for just a couple hours of "fun."
Give Your Kids A Couple Pillow Cases & Wish Them Luck
This is the route my parents took when I was a kid, and while I may have been temporarily embarrassed, I don't think I was forever emotionally scarred.
I mean, I want to be a better parent to my kids so they don't know the struggle of not "having the best" whatever, but, like, can't I just draw some whiskers on my kid and they can go as a cat? Do we really need to get creative with that one, people? When I was a kid I wore a black shirt, a black skirt, drew some whiskers on my face, and I still scored all the candy my heart desired.
Hide Until Halloween Is Over
I think I' going to be "sick" on Halloween this year. Oh, and maybe next year, too. This might be a yearly sickness, you guys.
Tell Your Kids They're Already Wearing Costumes
Everyone wears a mask, kids.
Re-Use Last Year's Costume
Maybe they've outgrown last year's costumes, but I can always squeeze my kids into them if need be, right? I wore costumes a couple years in a row when my parents couldn't afford new ones.
Pay Someone Else To Do It
Again with the money I don't have. I know, I know. But still, sometimes a neighbor with a unique set of skills needs a few extra bucks and my son wants an "authentic" Ninja Turtle shell to complete his ensemble. I'll gladly pay for whatever as long as I don't have to do it myself (which would only end up looking like a lumpy sack of fabric anyway).
Bribe Your Kids
Another thing I'm not above is bribery. "I'll buy you two costumes if I don't have to make them! You can be anything, as long as it's not me putting it together!" I've found that bribery works well, too. So, yeah, you're welcome for the "tip."
It's possible that I've forgotten which day Halloween falls on "this year." I'll remember next year though, I'm sure of it. I'm lucky my kids are still young enough to buy my crap because so far, it's gotten me out of things like this. Yay!
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