Being able to spend the rest of your life with the person you love is a blissful feeling like no other. Though it's meant to be forever, there are certain things that can cause it to end unexpectedly. But being aware of the behaviors that will tank your marriage is one way to help your union stay healthy and fresh for a lifetime.
As I get closer to my 30s, the one thing that I get asked the most is "when are you going to settle down and get married?" Though this question is very annoying to hear, I always tell people that I'm OK with not joining the wives club quite yet, because I'm using this as time to gather what I should expect from marriage. Based off of my friends and family members who are or have been married, I know that marriage is a lot of work. You can't just survive off of love alone in a marriage. Marriage is filled with choices that you make every day to ensure that it works out to the best of its ability. You have to choose to make the right behavior, and the moment you don't, you risk throwing it all away.
If you're married now or waiting in a spirit of expectancy for it to come your way, these 11 behaviors will help you ensure that you honor and respect your partner forever.
1. You Don't Admit When You're Upset
Choosing not to be open with your dislikes and the things that cause you to be upset cuts down on the communication that you and your partner has. Without proper communication, your marriage will suffer.
2. You Don't Discuss Spending Habits
According to Time, it's imperative to talk about finances with your significant other — before and after you're married. If you are a person who likes to save and your spouse loves to spend frivolously, arguments will always arise that focus on money.
3. You Criticize Your Partner
According to Huffington Post, criticizing your partner is a behavior that will kill your marriage because criticism attacks your spouse character. By criticizing your partner, you are purposely attacking them to inflict emotional pain.
4. You Don't Remind Them That They Are Appreciated
Everyone needs to feel appreciated. But as time goes by, it's easy to forget that. It's important to take time to show your partner appreciation because as Psychology Today noted, gratitude keeps couples together. Even if it's just a simple "thank you" note or fresh flowers, letting your spouse know that they are appreciated will help keep your marriage in tact.
5. You Don't Spend Enough Time Together
Brides noted that not spending regular time together with your spouse is a way to ruin your marriage, too. Spending limited time together only allows you to connect on a superficial level, and your marriage cannot sustain off of that.
6. You're Not Honest With Your Partner
There are many things that you can be dishonest about in your marriage, but Bustle noted that lying about what you do on social media can ruin your marriage. When you're sneaking behind your spouse's back to interact with people on social media, it is an indicator of dishonesty and can be a way to ruin your marriage in the long run.
7. You're Always Trying To "Fix" Your Partner
According to Paired Life, trying to "fix" your partner is a bad behavior. Instead of always trying to fix everything or show that you're stronger than your spouse, try asking them how you can do it together.
8. You Stop Dating Your Partner
Though I'm not married, one thing I always notice about my sister and her husband is that they've never stopped dating one another. I'm sure that they have their own personal issues, but it's respectable and admirable that they have always chose to continue dating, even now that they're married. Never forgetting to date your spouse is a way to keep your marriage healthy.
9. You're Never Happy
When you're not happy with yourself or with your spouse, your marriage will not thrive. Always being unhappy about the things going on in your life will eventually rub off on your spouse and make them feel that nothing they do can make you happy. Before that happens though, try going to counseling — either by yourself or with your spouse — to make an attempt at solving the issue. Because remember: a happy wife, makes a happy life.
10. You Verbally Abuse Your Partner
Paired Life noted that using hurtful words towards your spouse is a way to ruin your marriage. Once words come out, there's no way to get them back in. So, ensuring that you are saying positive things to your other half, is a way to keep our marriage in a good space.
11. You Don't Make Your Marriage A Priority
According to Brides, not letting your marriage be your priority can be detrimental. With all of the things that happen in life, it's easy to unintentionally let your marriage take a back seat. Though this is true, your behavior in your marriage should be better than it was during your dating stages.