Life
At a certain point in your childhood, your parents sit you down to have the talk about the birds and the bees. In my experience, parents give you the basics, and open up the floor for questions. Also, in my experience, I would have rather died than ask my mother to explain the concept of a blow job to me. (Hey mom, I love you, you're still my best friend, but 12-year-old me was not that brave.) Instead of asking my mother, a trusted source, I chose to trust in the blow job myths that circulated around my middle school.
Blow job myths were a dime a dozen in the hallowed halls of public school, where rumors circulated like wildfire and everybody's sex stats were worn like badges on their Five Star binders. I'm here to tell you that most of those blow job myths you've heard your entire life are exactly that: a myth. No longer should you be concerned about giving a cinematically perfect blow job, because the fact of the matter is, nothing in real life is ever as good looking as it is on the big screen. So read on and prepare to bid the following blow job myths adieu, because they're just not true.
Myth #1: You Should Always Swallow
Somewhere in the history of giving blow jobs, the givers came up with this terrible idea that if you didn't swallow, it meant you didn't care. Guess what? It's possible to care for someone without swallowing. You've done plenty by offering up your mouth to your partner in the first place, and to be honest? Your guy could care less if you spit or swallow, and Cosmopolitan has a handy guide to spitting or swallowing, just in case you have any doubts.
Myth #2: Deep Throating Is Key
No, you do not have to be a girl with no gag reflex in order to be great at giving head. There are plenty of blow job techniques that don't involve choking on your partner.
Myth #3: It's Not 'Real' Sex
This one was more prevalent in my younger years, when everyone was just dipping their toes into the sexual landscape, and the difference between being "experienced" and being a virgin was a serious one. But Cosmopolitan noted that a blow job is considered oral sex, which is just as much sex as any other kind of sex. The act of sex is a versatile one, and doesn't necessarily have anything to do with penetration.
Myth #4: If He Doesn't Want It, He Doesn't Like You
Just like there are women who don't enjoy oral, there are men who don't enjoy oral. Everybody has their own sexual preferences, and just because a guy doesn't want a blow job from you doesn't mean he's not interested in you, as noted in Your Tango. Relationships are more than just sex, y'all.
Myth #5: Your Saliva Will See You Through
Not everyone has that excessive saliva thing down pat. Cottonmouth while giving head? Yeah, it's a thing. Don't feel like a failure if your saliva is leaving the moisture a little lacking.
Myth #6: If You Take A Break, You Have To Start Over
Um, no. A penis does not go flaccid just because your mouth needs a break.
Myth #7: You Should Love Giving Blow Jobs
Just like any sexual act, blow jobs are all about personal preference. Just because you don't like giving blow jobs does not mean that you're less of a person, not a great option, or doomed for the single life forever.
Myth #8: It's Normal For Guys To Push Your Head Down
If you're into it, that's fine. But if you're not into it? Speak up. Forcing any sexual act is not normal behavior, even if your dude has been taught by society that it's OK. Want to know how to deal with the blow job head push? Reddit users have a cornucopia of ideas for you.
Myth #9: You Have To Get The Whole Thing In Your Mouth
Size varies from man to man, and the fact of the matter is that you'll be able to fit some penises all the way in your mouth, and some you won't. You can stimulate a man with your hands, your tongue, and your mouth, which means there's no need for you to try and defy the laws of volume and space if it's just not working.
Myth #10: You Give A Blow Job On Your Knees
Ever heard of the 69 position? Or him lying down in bed, while you're also lying down in bed... the lazy blow job, a personal favorite. There's no need for rug burn on your beautiful knees, there are other ways to give a blow job.
Myth #11: If You're On Your Period, You Have To Give A Blow Job
Yeah, no. Though not all men are into period sex, there is no rule book that says you owe them a blow job while you're menstruating if they're not going to reciprocate just because of a little blood.
