After I had my baby, the mood in my closet shifted and I faced a new clothing dilemma. How do I accommodate my changing body and feel good about what I'm wearing? I tried on many things before finally deciding on the same thing I wore the day before, and a smile would cross my face. Then someone would say something that totally deflated me. Nothing is worse than people who give you compliments about your postpartum wardrobe that are actually insults.
It doesn't matter who it comes from — friends, family, and well meaning baristas try to break you off something sweet to boost your confidence, but it usually has the opposite effect. Because although they might be trying to sound nice, they're really serving up a hot dish of rude. And it stings... big time.
Postpartum bodies are still in recovery mode from giving birth, and finding clothes to wear during this phase was not fun for me. I didn't want to spend a lot of money on clothes I wouldn't wear for long and I barely had time to shower, so forget about hours of trying on clothes at the mall.
If you're picking up what I'm laying down, then you may have heard some of these 11 so-called compliments about your postpartum ensembles, that are actually quite insulting.
1. "You Look Good For Just Having A Baby."
Why is there a different measuring stick for postpartum looks? This implies that people expect you to look bad after just having a baby. It shouldn't be so shocking to see a put together, well dressed mother.
2. "That Outfit Really Hides Your Stomach."
My post-baby belly was the subject of many backhanded compliments. It's a shame that women are expected to shrink their belly down after having a baby, like that's their biggest goal (as if taking care of a newborn is secondary).
3. "Are You Wearing Spanx Under There?"
Again with keeping things tight. Asking if the reason your clothes fit so well is because you're wearing Spanx, is just plain rude. Would they ever ask this question to a non-postpartum woman?
4. "So Glad To See You're Not Wearing Mom Jeans."
Postpartum moms are not only expected to loose the weight to fit into their old wardrobe, but also not to make fashion statements that are categorized under the "mom" label.
5. "Don't Worry — You'll Be Out Of Maternity Clothes Soon!"
This is a line people give when you express negativity about your clothes during this time period. It's meant to make you feel better, but really you just want to cry.
6. "There's Some Muscle Under There."
Probably the most daunting of outfits to shimmy into after baby is a bathing suit. Someone actually said this to me at the pool, when I was brave enough to wear my bikini after having my second child. I replied, "Under where? The fat?" And I think that put her in her place.
7. "Are You Back In Normal Clothes?"
As if the only clothes you can look good in are non-maternity clothes. You'd be surprised how many people drop this rude bomb when seeing you out after giving birth.
8. "I Love Your Uniform. It's So Efficient."
Wearing what works and makes you feel good is the best way to make it through the postpartum wardrobe transition. People may see you wearing the same clothes a lot, and feel led to make a comment such as this. Although they should keep it to themselves.
9. "I Love That Shirt, It's Perfect For Your New Life."
Moms don't dress for utilitarian purposes — they still like being stylish even though they have a child.
10. "I Love How Carefree You Are About Getting Dressed."
This is usually uttered when you are having one of those days when you don't give a sh*t what you're wearing, you just need to get out the door.
11. "You're Really Pulling Off Those Yoga Pants."
Look, yoga pants get the job done — but haters are gonna hate. Whoever says this secretly knows they wish they were wearing yoga pants too.