New Year's Resolutions are never easy to keep, but as you might have noticed, they get even harder to stick to after you have kids. Maybe it's because you're too tired to care, maybe it's because your standards for self-improvement have dropped from "fabulous" to "functional," or maybe it's because your short term memory is so trashed you keep forgetting what it is you want to do differently in the coming year. Whatever the reason, you've got to laugh, and that's why we love these hilarious New Year's resolutions from parents on Twitter.
Whether your resolutions focus on your role as a parent or spouse, or are straight up selfish hopes that prioritize your own self-care, here are some of the funniest resolutions for parents that have been shared in the Twitter-verse — that makes them official, right? Maybe you have vague intentions to prepare dinners that don't involve the microwave and/or include the words "nugget" or "tots." Maybe you've promised to actually scrub the gunk off the shower tiles on a regular basis. Maybe you just want to be a better parent overall. Whatever it is, the truth is that we too often abandon our resolutions before Christmas break is even over. (Then again, what are we even doing to ourselves trying to make resolutions when the kids are on vacation from school?!)
The parents behind these tweets have a much more realistic take on the whole resolution racket. Because let's be honest, any resolution that you make can be perceived as one big prank you play on yourself — what are the chances you'll actually keep any of them? Will we get more sleep this year? Yeah, probably not. Eat healthier? Sure, occasionally! Go to the gym regularly? Um...
At least one resolution we can keep is to laugh more often. Here are some delightfully defeated tweets from parents to get you started.
If you're a parent in the suburbs who spends every morning swearing under your breath at other parents in the suburbs who can't park to save their lives, you know this mom's pain. Also, newsflash: Apparently it's even less effective if the resolutions you are making are for other people.
11Good Luck, Buddy
Here Disney/Fingerlings/clothes, just take all my money. This is a noble objective, but sorry dude, it ain't gonna happen — unless your kid gets a job or outgrows their Disney obsession. It's not your fault though. You can't escape the powers of commercialism. Just...let it go... #sorrynotsorry
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