When a relationship is new, you can't get enough of your partner. You think their wacky sense of fashion and constant humming is adorable. But as things progress, you may begin to notice that some of those traits you thought were cute are actually downright annoying. And although it can be easy to point out your partner's faults, it may be more difficult to see some of your own unflattering traits. Which is why you need someone to point out some of the infuriating things you do that drive a wedge in your relationship.
Things like constantly keeping score, getting carried away with PDA, and comparing your partner to someone from the past can cause some major resentment and lead to long term issues in your relationship. But the good news is that once you identify these qualities in yourself, you can begin to work on changing your behavior and fostering a healthier relationship.
So take a look at this list, and then take a good look in the mirror to see if you are doing any of these things that can be both infuriating to your partner and damaging to your relationship. The coming new year is a great time to start with a fresh perspective on your relationship. You'll thank me on Valentine's Day.
1. Trying To Change Your Partner
A relationship should be a safe place for both partners to be themselves. And though you might think you're doing a good thing, trying to change your mate can have negative consequences. Trying to force your partner to be someone else can drive a serious wedge in your relationship, according to Shape.
2. Keeping Score
If you're planning to have a long-term relationship with someone, there's no place for keeping score. Rather than trying to best your partner, you should think of yourselves as a team. According to Greatist, keeping track of every single detail of your relationship can cause unnecessary tension in your relationship.
3. Too Much PDA
You love your partner and you want the rest of the world to know exactly how much. But there's a big difference between holding hands and having a full on make out session in public. As Shape mentioned, engaging in too much PDA can be uncomfortable for your partner as well as others around you. Save the freaky stuff for the bedroom.
4. Living In The Past
It's easy to look back fondly at an old love. But try not to forget that there's a reason why you're no longer with that person. As Greatist mentioned, you can't move forward in your relationship if you're constantly comparing your partner to an ex.
5. Being Unable To Unplug
Technology has given people so many great ways to stay informed and connect with others, but there's no substitute for a face-to-face conversation. Being able to give your partner some real face time is an important part of maintaining your relationship. As Real Simple mentioned, research has shown that constant attachment to your cell phone can lead to lower satisfaction in your relationship.
Put down the binoculars and stop trying to figure out the passcode to your partner's phone. You'll never be able to keep tabs on your partner 24-7, and you shouldn't want to. As Shape mentioned, trust is key in any successful relationship.
7. Pushing Their Buttons
As Mind Body Green pointed out, purposely saying things you know will annoy your partner is a guaranteed way to hurt the relationship.
8. Avoiding Arguments
You may not like to argue, but it is completely normal for couples to disagree. As Real Simple mentioned, withdrawing during a fight is an unhealthy habit. If you don't get your issues out on the table while the argument is happening, you'll only end up harboring resentment towards your partner.
9. Holding Grudges
No one is perfect, including you and your partner. You will undoubtedly make mistakes in your relationship. And as Greatist pointed out, if your relationship is going to succeed, you need to be able to let things go.
10. Trying To Fix Everything
Sometimes your partner just wants a compassionate ear to share thoughts and feelings. As Mind Body Green pointed out, trying to solve problems rather than listening can cause your partner to believe their feelings don't matter.
11. Being Unable To See Both Sides
When you and your partner disagree, holding on to your point of view makes you look more like a toddler than an adult. In any healthy relationship, you should open to considering your partner's point of view.