Being a mom means facing a (seemingly endless) barrage of difficulties, starting from the moment your child is born until (I'm assuming) forever. Sorry, real talk here. The older and more verbal your kid gets, the more challenging motherhood can become. Kids ask some mind-numbingly difficult questions that you definitely don't want to answer and I, for one, think that's pretty normal and kind of awesome, even if it can be a challenge. I've given my daughter a blank stare a time or two, but there are some kid questions every grown-ass mom isn't afraid to answer.
Easier said than done, to be sure, but even when I'm asked something somewhat uncomfortable or mind-boggling, I remember that, hey, I can handle the tough stuff up to and including these questions. So, I pull up my granny panties (that I still wear from when I was pregnant because hello comfort) and answer the hard questions with confidence and without coming across as too freaked out. Honestly, every question is a teachable moment and I'm going to make damn sure that I'm the one teaching my kid, not someone else. It's my job to either have the answers or have the ability to find the answers, so that's exactly what I'm going to do for my kid.
So, while moms who call their sons' penises their "wee-wee" do their thing (which, you know, more power to you if you want to take that route in raising your kids), the grown-ass moms will be over here, using real anatomical names for body parts and asking that our kids do the same. Getting real with your kid is never a bad thing (while being age appropriate in that realness, of course), at least in my grown-ass opinion.
With that in mind, here are 11 kid questions ever grown-ass mom isn't afraid to answer:
"How Do Mommies Get Babies In Their Bellies?"
Lead with the tough one, right? My daughter has only asked this question once (so far) and has completely zoned out and walked away halfway through my anatomical explanation, I'll just count as a win.
"Why Do I Have To Brush My Teeth?"
"Because I said so!" isn't really the type of answer a grown-ass woman uses. Personally, I'm a fan of telling my kids there are baby monsters that hide in between teeth that haven't been brushed, and they can grow into big monsters at night if they're not brushed away. Just kidding. I explain the concept of bacteria and plaque causing cavities (which are all essentially monsters anyway). In my experience, when you give a thoughtful and honest response as to why you've asked your kid to do something, they'll be more inclined to listen to you.
"Why Do Some Of My Friends Have Two Moms/Two Dads?"
Yes! I'll admit that I haven't gotten to answer that question yet, but I'm actually looking forward to it. Opening my daughter's mind to different lifestyles and gender identities than what she's used to, sounds pretty amazing. If I can instill the concept of inclusion and acceptance in my kid at a young age, the world just might be a better place.
"Why Does Daddy/My Brother Have A Penis?"
I won't lie, I hate penis questions. However, that hate doesn't keep me from explaining some basic anatomy to my daughter when she asks (because she always asks about this kind of stuff more than once) and then she talks about her bum, and I gently correct her with the proper terminology, and we're good to go.
"Is That A Boy Or A Girl?"
Grown-ass moms tell their kids that someone else's gender and/or the way in which they decide to identify themselves, is none of anyone's business. It's not our job to determine which gender an individual is, and whatever that gender may be definitely shouldn't determine how we treat that person.
"Why Do You Have A Bum In The Front, Too?"
Anatomy 101. If I could get my daughter to stop calling her vulva her bum, I would be such a happy person. I'll just keep correcting her, for now. Sigh.
"Why Is The Goldfish Floating Upside Down?"
The death of pets (and in some cases, family members and/or friends) is a hard thing to explain to young children, but telling your kid their fish is just "asleep," or that said family member is, "just resting," is not going to help anyone in the long run. Grown-ass women will frame the truth in a way their kid can grasp. After all, death is an inevitable part of life and while you don't want to scare your kid, you should want to prepare them for the realities of living, too.
"Why Didn't [Insert Friend's Name Here] Invite Me To Their Party?"
I hate the social web of grade school children. Honestly, it makes reality television look kind and understandable. I haven't had this happen yet, thankfully, but when my daughter (inevitably) does get excluded from a social event, I'm going to make sure I don't just answer with, "It's okay sweetie, there will be other parties."
"Why Is That Person Dressed Funny?"
Here's your opportunity to talk to your kid about respecting other cultures and the beautifully diverse ways people can express themselves. My daughter said this when she saw a Sikh crossing guard who had a turban, and I quickly explained that this was a religious garment and absolutely nothing to laugh at. (Honestly, kids tend to understand this way better than most adults.)
"Are You Wearing A Diaper?"
Oh god, explaining pads and pantyliners to a three-year-old is not fun. But hey, there's no time like the present to get them used to the idea and to teach them about the very normal aspects of periods, so that they don't ever feel ashamed of needing to use one when they finally start menstruating.
"Why Do You Have Blood On Your Underwear?"
Yay, more period questions! If your kid hasn't already asked you about pads or tampons, now is the time to get them acclimatized to what menstruation actually is. My daughter zoned out part-way through this conversation, but I was happy to get the ball rolling.