11 Most Common Fears About Oral Sex & How To Get Over Them
For some women, it can be hard to enjoy the pleasures of oral sex. For others, giving or receiving oral is a fate more terrifying than a root canal. Hey, neither of these fears is cause for embarrassment. But if you have trepidations about oral sex, you're not alone. There are some common fears about oral sex, but there are also ways to get over them so you can see for yourself if oral truly lives up to the hype.
Oral sex is super intimate. Some people think oral sex is more intimate than intercourse. The French, to be exact. According to Jezebel, French ladies find oral sex more intimate than penetration. Additionally, the article noted that oral usually comes later on in the relationship, after French women have bedded their partners.
Perhaps the French are onto something here. After all, mouth to genital contact is pretty damn intimate. You were probably brought up to believe your genitals are private, and during oral, they're anything but. If you're receiving, they're right in someone else's face. And if you're giving, then... well, you know.
But here's the thing. You're not a kid anymore. You're a grown-ass woman and, as such, you share private things about yourself, including your vagina, with others. Why? It's fun, feels good, and connects you to others in a way a mature woman desires. Although I don't believe in preaching when it comes to sex, I do believe in giving and receiving oral. So if you feel yourself embarrassed over the following (hey, I've been there) maybe it's time to rethink your attitude and face your fears.
1. You Irrationally Fear Your Vagina Smells
You know what you smell like down there. Heck, go ahead and test yourself for your flavor. Multi-Gyn noted that the pH in your vagina causes natural odor. If you find your odor concerning, see a doctor. Otherwise, accept that, just like other body parts, your vagina has a smell. It makes you human.
2. You're Scared Of Admitting You Need A Shower
As Thought Catalog pointed out, there's a difference in vaginal odors, and some derive from spending an hour at Soul Cycle. If you find yourself with a hottie after class, it's perfectly reasonable to freshen up before getting busy. Also, as a grown-ass woman, you can shower before sex without embarrassment. Getting sudsy is fun foreplay.
3. You Haven't Groomed Your Pubes
So, what? Do you think guys worry about this on the regular?
4. You Fear Your Vagina Looks Weird
Just like no two snowflakes are alike, neither are two vaginas. But if you feel genital shame because of how your vagina looks or smells, it could be the root of a more serious problem. Shame, as psychologist Brené Brown told Psychology Today is "the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing [you] are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging." Brown suggested that you talk about your shame with a professional or confidante in order to let it go.
5. You Don't Trust Your Partner
The Gloss pointed out that many women need to reach a certain level of trust with their partner in order to feel comfortable with oral sex. The same article noted that trust takes time, sometimes, months dating a person. So, ride it out, and listen to what makes you feel safe whenever you have sex.
6. You Fear You Might Not Climax From Oral
There's a lot of pressure to please your partner when you partner is pleasing you. Unfortunately, performance anxiety only delays orgasm, according to Mayo Clinic. On the other hand, if you relax and let go and engage in some deep breathing, you will have a better orgasm, noted Huffington Post.
7. You're Scared You Might Not Be Good At Giving Head
This is a totally common fear, noted Elite Daily. But by being afraid of giving bad oral, you're psyching yourself out. So relax. Get to it.
8. You're Scared You'll Gag While Giving A Blowjob
You might be scared of gagging when a penis is in your mouth. Solve this fear by researching different positions that make gagging less likely when giving a blowjob. Cosmopolitan suggested kneeling, or having him stand above you, as you guide him in slowly to help prevent gagging.
9. You're Scared Of Scraping A Penis With Your Teeth
No girl wants to hurt her guy with her teeth. Thought Catalog recommended that the giver open up her jaw and slow down. It's important to find a rhythm when giving a blowjob, keep your mouth wet, and push the penis against your cheek to avoid teeth.
10. You're Scared Of Swallowing
I don't blame you. In my humble opinion, whether you want to spit or swallow is your call — but have the conversation with your guy before he drops his drawers.
11. You're Scared Of Getting An STD
When having unprotected oral sex, Planned Parenthood noted that swallowing semen puts you at risk for catching an STD. Additionally, WebMD noted that any woman with herpes can infect a partner giving her oral, but chances of catching an STD from cunnilingus are slim.