You've probably seen at least one glamorous New Year’s Eve-themed episode on TV. And you may have gotten excited about the possibility of having your own dazzling party to attend on December 31 (complete with a midnight kiss.) But the truth of the matter is, New Year's Eve is usually a major letdown.
The problem with New Year's Eve can be summed up in one word: expectations. It's the one night of the year that you feel almost obligated to have an enviable evening full of fun and fantasy. Sure, it's never great to have nothing to do on July or Halloween, but playing it low-key on these holidays doesn't feel like the end of the world. Imagining yourself home alone with the cat on New Year’s Eve? Tragic.
And on New Year’s Eve, the pressure is on not only to have amazing plans, but to find a fun and fancy outfit (that you will probably never wear again), and to have a date. Somewhere along the line, New Year's Eve became the number one date holiday, and it feels like having someone to smooch at midnight has almost become a prerequisite to having a good night.
I'm going to save you a world of disappointment here: New Year’s Eve is not going to live up to your expectations. Your fantasies of traipsing around the city in your stilettos and sparkles, footloose and fancy free are not going to come to volition in the way you imagined them. Instead, your evening will probably be peppered with some inebriated sobs, some serious wardrobe malfunctions, and a hefty credit card bill. New Year's Eve is, almost inevitably, a huge letdown, and here are some of the reasons why this glorified holiday is actually kind of a killjoy.
1You're Stressed Trying To Make Plans
Finding New Year's Eve plans is an art — one that no one has mastered. Do you want to go to a house party or go bar hopping? Where are your "coolest" friends going to be? Where do you have the best probability of finding a hottie to kiss? Where did you get invited? So many factors go into finding the perfect place to ring in the new year, and even after you've weighed the pros and cons and hedged your bets on the most fantastic place to spend the night, chances are it won't live up to your dreams.
Do fashion magazines not understand that December 31 is winter? Why are all New Year's Eve outfits comprised of short skirts, short sleeves, and non-insulated footwear? It's cold out, giving you more motivation to ring in the new year with pizza and pajamas.
3You Spend Too Much Money
Everything costs more on New Year's Eve. If you're planning a night out on the town, you can expect ridiculous cover charges, super overpriced drinks, and surging Ubers. Who needs to start the new year off in debt?
4You Can't Find A Cab
You thought you were going to hail a cab on New Year's Eve? Ha. Good one.
5Your Sequin Dress Causes Chaffing
Sequins may look awesome, but they are actually hazardous. Underarm chaffing from a sequined top is a real issue, and you can forget about hugging your friends. You're basically a shiny porcupine.
6You Have To Deal With Drunks
New Year's Eve is a night when everyone thinks they have a free pass to overindulge on the alcohol, which means wherever you are — house party or club — you're bound to be surrounded by drunks. It's also amateur night: New Year's Eve is the one night of the year that people who never go out will go out hard, and they definitely don't know how to hold there alcohol. Be prepared for more spills, stumbles and sobs.
7You Feel Pressures To Find Someone To Kiss
When the countdown starts, there's the scramble and the room starts to look like Noah's Arc with people desperately pairing off. If you're spending the evening with a partner you love, then the midnight make-out is romantic and sweet. If you show up single and ready to mingle, get ready for a crummy kiss that will definitely leave you wishing you'd just called it a night at 10:30.
8You Crash and Forget To Wash Your Face
On a night when you're probably wearing more makeup than you wore throughout the year, this is not a harmless mistake. Get ready to wake up on January 1 looking like a reject from Dr. Frankenstein's lab, and then have a flashback to high school with all the acne that'll be popping up.
9You'll Have To Deal Wtih A Hangover
Popping bottles might seem like a good idea when the clock strikes midnight, but good luck functioning on the first day of the New Year after drinking a bottle of bubbly.
10You Have To Stay Up Late
No New Year's Eve party actually ends at midnight, so you're looking at a late evening. You want to go to bed, but force your eyes to stay open, which only means you're spending the night sleepy and cranky.
11You're Covered In Glitter
Remember that startup that allowed you to send an envelope of glitter to your enemies? Well, New Year's Eve is when you and your friends think glitter is a good idea — glittered party hats, glittered glasses, glitter makeup, glitter confetti...good luck getting that off your person. It'll be St. Patrick's Day before you're finally glitter-free.
If you want to try and live up to all the hype this year and paint the town red, more power to you. But if you feel like ringing in the new year with a couple of close loved ones, a big glass of wine, and a bucket of fried chicken, just know that when all is said and done, you'll probably have the best night of anyone you know.