It's been a little more than two years since I've been in a committed relationship. Looking back, I realize that my anxiety and list of worries are probably some of the reasons it fell to its demise. I didn't understand that, even though it's OK to be cautious about some problems, there are other relationship problems people worry about that are actually common. I think the biggest issue for me was just learning how to gain control over my thoughts and not let them become my reality.
When it comes to the problems I've had in my relationship, I may have made them out to be worse than what they were. When you've been in a string of not-so-good relationships in the past, your mentality about new or evolving situations could be negative. Now that I'm a little older and have worked though my self-esteem issues, I've learned that thinking that way doesn't mean it will be true. Though I think that guarding your heart is very important, taking a chance and letting things become beautiful are on the same level.
If you're not sure what problems you should or shouldn't be citing as normal, these 11 can help you figure it out.
1. Your Partner May Cheat
According to Lifehack, a common worry in relationships is that your partner will cheat on you. Though your partner may occasionally find another person attractive, that does not always mean that they are out to cheat on you.
2. You Don't Spend Enough Time Togetther
When you're in a relationship, the conversation of not spending enough time together will come up. To many, if the thought is there, the worry that their partner may be pulling back or may be cheating can be on the top of your brain. Opening up the line of communication about why there's distance will help.
3. You Spend Too Much Time Togetther
Sometimes, when you're around your partner most of the time, other people will make you feel like you're around one another too much. By letting other's perspective of your relationship get into your mind, you'll start to worry that it may be true Talk to your partner about the time your spend together — not everyone else.
4. You Aren't Having Enough Sex
Lifehack noted that a worry that many couples worry about not having enough sex. It could be because one of you has become busy and, when this usually happens, your mind automatically strays to negative thoughts. Instead of jumping to conclusions, try having an open and honest conversation about your worry.
5. Your Partner Will Leave You
According to Bustle, the feeling or worry that your partner will leave you is pretty normal. When you've found your perfect match, it may feel all too perfect. Therefore, you may think that they'll just up and leave you one day because this just can't be real. Even if you've been hurt in the past, try thinking different of this relationship. Remember: what you think will manifest, so think the best.
6. You're Not Doing Enough To Make Them Happy
When I was in my last relationship, I felt like my then-boyfriend did a lot for me and I wasn't doing enough to keep him happy. For me, it was a self-esteem thing. For other, however, it could be that their spouse is not showing their appreciation. Talk about where you guys are in your relationship and try to find ways to make it better, if the worry doesn't go away.
7. You're Settling
If being in a committed relationship is something new for you, the thought that you may be settling could run through your mind. When I was in my last relationship, I had thoughts like that for the first two months because I just wasn't used to being with someone hardcore. After I realized that it was OK to follow my heart, I felt better about who I was with.
8. You'll Fall Out Of Love
According to Bustle, people have a tendency to worry about if their partner will fall out of love with them. The site noted that although your partner will most likely do so, they have to make the decision to fall back in love with you, too. It's a never ending cycle.
9. You'll Never Get Married
One of the fears that I always have in a relationship is that I'll never get married. For many people, whether in long term or new relationships, the thought of if you'll ever get married becomes a worry that can become a self-sabotaging experience. Take it slow and pay attention to the signs your partner is giving you.
10. You'll Become Too Vulnerable
Glamour noted that feeling too vulnerable too soon is a worry that shouldn't be on your mind. There is a balance between saying too much and not saying enough, so finding that will help you get comfortable with talking to your partner.
11. Your Future In-Laws Don't Like You
According to Lifehack, the fear of your partner's parents or family members disliking you is a thought that crosses the mind. Although this could be a real issue in some cases, most of the time, it's just self-esteem talking negatively.